ONLY in New Jersey...(fart heard 'round the state)

**WitchyOoman** · 06-27-2012, 12:37 PM

Re: ONLY in New Jersey...(fart heard 'round the state)

From the <span style="text-decoration: underline">Huff Post</span>:

<span style="font-weight: bold">Daniel Collins Accused Of Threatening Farting New Jersey Neighbor With A Gun</span>

When somebody else farts, it's common to wave your hands -- not a gun.

But Daniel Collins was apparently flat-out tired of his neighbor's flatulence and decided to raise a stink with the help of his trusty firearm.

Police in Teaneck, N.J., said Collins, 72, had been involved in an ongoing dispute with the unidentified neighbor for some time, but Collins got really gassed when the man passed gas near Collins' apartment door, NJ.com reported.

It apparently was the shot heard (and smelt) around the world -- or, at least New Jersey -- because Collins allegedly pointed a revolver at the flatulent neighbor in the vestibule of their apartment building and said “I’m going to put a hole in your head,” according to NorthJersey.com.

When police arrived, Collins denied the threat, but consented to a search. Authorities recovered a .32 caliber revolver from his vehicle.

Collins was charged with aggravated assault, unlawful possession of a firearm, possession of a weapon for an unlawful purpose and terroristic threats, but later released on his own recognizance, NBC New York reported.

From the <span style="text-decoration: underline">NJ.com</span>:

<span style="font-weight: bold">Police: Teaneck man pulled gun on neighbor for farting</span>

by Dan Ivers / NJ.com

TEANECK — An elderly man was arrested Monday night after a neighbor's fart allegedly drove him to threaten him with a gun, police said.

Daniel Collins, 72, had been involved in an ongoing dispute with the unidentified neighbor for some time, Det. Lt. Andrew McGurr told NJ.com. The neighbor told officers that Collins pointed a revolver at him in the vestibule of their apartment building at 694 Cedar Lane at around 9:25 p.m.

Collins said he confronted the man after hearing him pass gas in front of his apartment door, but denied threatening him with a gun. He consented to a search, and officers recovered a .32 caliber revolver from his vehicle.

He was arrested and charged with aggravated assault, possession of a weapon for an unlawful purpose, unlawful possession of a firearm and making terroristic threats.

He was released after being processed, McGurr said.

Note: This article was changed to include comments from Teaneck police.

**WitchyOoman** · 06-27-2012, 12:41 PM

Re: ONLY in New Jersey...(fart heard 'round the state)

From <span style="text-decoration: underline">The Bergen County Record</span>":

<span style="font-weight: bold">Police: Teaneck man, 72, pointed gun at neighbor over flatulence</span>

BY MARLENE NAANES
STAFF WRITER

TEANECK — A 72-year-old man is accused of threatening his neighbor with a gun for farting outside his apartment, police said.

Daniel Collins Jr. is accused of pointing a silver revolver at his 47-year-old neighbor in the vestibule of their Cedar Lane apartment building and saying, “I’m going to put a hole in your head.” The confrontation occurred after Collins said his neighbor farted as he walked in front of Collins’ apartment, said Detective Lt. Andrew McGurr.

Collins told detectives he heard the un-neighborly act from inside his apartment. The neighbor called police, who found a revolver under the front passenger seat of Collins’ vehicle.

The gun, a .32-caliber Taurus revolver, fit the description the neighbor gave investigators, McGurr said.

Collins was charged with aggravated assault, unlawful possession of a firearm, possession of a weapon for an unlawful purpose and terroristic threats. He was released on his own recognizance, McGurr said.

The men had an ongoing dispute stemming from noise complaints, McGurr said.

From <span style="text-decoration: underline">MSN.com</span>:

<span style="font-weight: bold">Furious man pulls gun on neighbor for farting</span>

If only this guy's fart had been silent but deadly, he probably wouldn't have found himself in a dangerous situation. A New Jersey man allegedly pulled a gun on his neighbor after hearing the man pass gas in front of his apartment door. Police in Teaneck say Daniel Collins had been having ongoing noise issues with his neighbor, and when the man let one rip, it was the wind that broke the camel's back. Though Collins denies the charge, police eventually recovered a gun from his car and charged him with aggravated assault. As for the neighbor, well, we're hoping he changed his shorts.

**j-kid** · 06-27-2012, 12:57 PM

Re: ONLY in New Jersey...(fart heard 'round the state)

**WitchyOoman** · 06-27-2012, 01:10 PM

Re: ONLY in New Jersey...(fart heard 'round the state)

waaaiiiii

Whe yuh get dat deh fram, J kid? A whe deh? Ah Jersey yawd? Muss be...

That is one of <span style="font-style: italic">THE FUNNIEST</span> bits of living shrubbery sculpture I've ever seen!
Is it real? or photoshop?

**kia027** · 06-27-2012, 01:54 PM

Re: ONLY in New Jersey...(fart heard 'round the state)

but witchy u noh see seh the man has has an ongoing dispute with the neighbor for years now.. prolly not the 1st nor last fart left at his door

lot of hot air going on over there

**WitchyOoman** · 06-27-2012, 02:03 PM

Re: ONLY in New Jersey...(fart heard 'round the state)

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Kia</div><div class="ubbcode-body">but witchy u noh see seh the man has has an ongoing dispute with the neighbor for years now.. prolly not the 1st nor last fart left at his door

l<span style="font-size: 14pt">ot of hot air going on over there</span> </div></div>
so tru dat ^

And sooo much of it comes from our <span style="text-decoration: line-through">esteemed</span> Governor Chris Christie...

(but mek me tek dat to some odda chread)
dwl

**WitchyOoman** · 06-27-2012, 02:04 PM

Re: ONLY in New Jersey...(fart heard 'round the state)

I just wanna know: <span style="font-weight: bold">WTH is wrong with us?!</span> ( us = Jerseyeans) CHO!!

**WitchyOoman** · 06-27-2012, 02:17 PM

Re: ONLY in New Jersey...(fart heard 'round the state)

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: J kid</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> </div></div>
I must admit to something...

I have, to my left (to the east of my house) next door to me, the only neighbor whom I seriously dislike. She's <span style="font-style: italic">THE ONLY</span> neighbor with whom I just cannot get along. BTW - no one else here can stand her any more than I can... it's not me! It's her.

Our front lawns are one, divided. (ie - one big lawn plot, with an invisible division line down the middle that divides my side of the property line from hers) I have a row of designer lilac bushes that I've let grow to 7-ft high, that I planted years ago well on my own side, so she couldn't complain or cut them... that I intended as a visual barrier so I needn't see the b* when out front in my own yard. It worked well.

Now that I've seen J kid's <span style="font-weight: bold">interesting topiary</span> pictra..... I have to make an admission, guilty though I feel: <span style="font-weight: bold">I think I want to buy some fast growing shrub, like forsythia, maybe, or boxwood, and prune it into a mooning-person shape that faces it's baxide towards her side of the front lawn.</span>
Politics be damned! I can run and win anyhow! Yes, I can.
Personal statements about it being "unChristian" be damned. I can beat that rap, too. I believe so... I might even get my confessor to shrive me of the sin and not have to remove the topiary, to boot. dwl My pastor has that kind of sense of humor, truly German priest that he is!

Smaddy stop me before I put my mind to it and decide to do it! Coz once I make up my mind... it's as good as a "done deed"! I (then) <span style="font-style: italic">will</span> do it.

Please me!

**WitchyOoman** · 06-27-2012, 02:22 PM

Re: ONLY in New Jersey...(fart heard 'round the state)

I'm willing to extract the stumps of a couple of the middle lilacs, plant forsythias or boxwoods, and prune them into the mooner-person shape facing her side of the front lawn... and to cut down the front-most lilacs to two-foot (or so) height... just so the new topiary sculpture is clearly visible and 'framed' for highlighted visibility notice!

I'll pay for a stump extractor and operator. A friend of mine owns one amongst his other demolition equipment right here in Orange.

ONLY in New Jersey...(fart heard 'round the state)

ONLY in New Jersey...(fart heard 'round the state)

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

ads