Men Come Here - I Need to Vent....Again

[Tropicana]

Re: Men Come Here - I Need to Vent....Again

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: SandiF</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Ahah! Yes, I know there are men/Jamaicans who gravitate towards a certain gene pool for marriage. It may be a (un)conscious decision, if not, a personal preference.

Well, we know sey marriages are not set in stone, even those with a Chinese triathlete and children are in the picture.

I'm taking it you didn't try to engage him into a stronger social friendship that could have its potentials. The advantage you had was he tracked you down....... even, though it were for a professional reason. </div></div>

Way back when I first was introduced to him I did try to get to know him better believe you me but he just wasn't interested. So, I gave up.


<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: SandiF</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
Btw, me is a weekend triathlete, so mine </div></div>

I can't even figure out how to spell it.

The same woman who told me about the Sir George crisis, shared an interesting experience. Her parents are from Barbados but she was raised in Canada. Way back when she was in her early 20s, she was dating a guy from Barbados. One day an older man from her church took her aside and said...

&quot;He'll never marry you, you're too dark. He wants a White or light skinned woman.&quot;

Sure enough, not too long after that, he announced that he was engaged to this light skinned woman with TALL hair.

Naturally, she was heart broken. Apparently he had been dating both of them at the same time but the dark woman wasn't good enough for him. That was years ago. She is now retired. The only thing that has changed is that there is such a shortage of partners for even White women that these guys can now &quot;GET&quot; White women. I am sure they think it is because they are SO wonderful.

As Deanna Durbin said in the movie First Love in which she got her first screen kiss from dreamy Robert Stack who was also a polo player :

<span style="font-weight: bold">Wrong again!</span>

I want to ask some guys &quot;Onoo sick or what?&quot;

[Gen]

Re: Men Come Here - I Need to Vent....Again

asian wife ?? this reminds me of tiki barber.

[j-kid]

Re: Men Come Here - I Need to Vent....Again

Some people run as far as dem can from dem family and cultural (group) drama. Nedda ting, wen smaddi mix inna JA, which side ah dem heritage yuh hear dem boast bout, Di African side, or di Chinese, White, Indian, etc? I find dat dere is quite ah bit of self-hate in JA (in both men and women), it is just not spoken about.

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Tropicana</div><div class="ubbcode-body">What do you mean J Kid....are the young people having problems with other Black kids? </div></div>

[Tropicana]

Re: Men Come Here - I Need to Vent....Again

Yes this is true and if boys hear their parents always bigging up everything but Black, when it is time to look for a partner, they will definitely steer clear of the African side. We're screwed aren't we.

As for this fellow, I heard from him again and he said he went through BIG custody battle with his perfect Chinese triathelete ex-wife. There was all kinds of drama and a HUGE court case. Trust me, my ex never went through ANY of that with me. He had liberal access beyond what the custody agreement stated.

Yet im nevah learn....he is again steering clear of the Black side. I hope his fiance plagues his hear out!!!

[j-kid]

Re: Men Come Here - I Need to Vent....Again

Hav likkle pitty pan him Tropi, mi sure dat fi har Lawyer raked him ova di hot burning fires of hell already.

[j-kid]

Re: Men Come Here - I Need to Vent....Again

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[missus_vegas]

Re: Men Come Here - I Need to Vent....Again

ok at the risk of sounding harsh and or possible saying the wrong thing where u are concerned.....


ever occur to you that his not being interested in you has nothing to do with your being black? maybe him just no like u dat way, and, speculating here, but maybe him not even know u have the hots for him.

i think that had it been a black woman he was dating u would still be annoyed, although not as much. you would probable tink to uself wahmek dis badwud badwud dutty ole wukkless good fi nothing ugly ole fawt man a come call mi fi chat bout him mig mout ugly gal....no?

[Diplomat]

Re: Men Come Here - I Need to Vent....Again

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Tropicana</div><div class="ubbcode-body">So what is the flippin' problem wid some a onoo? Your Black mothers and grandmothers were good enough to work hard and sacrifice to provide for you but suddenly Black women aren't flippin' good enough for you?

This is getting on my last nerve. It is bad enough when White guys automatically reject Black women. Now successful Jamaican men are also doing it.

I am royally ticked off.... <span style="font-weight: bold">YET AGAIN!! </span> </div></div>
Oh boy (((Tropicana)))

[missus_vegas]

Re: Men Come Here - I Need to Vent....Again

this whole self-esteem issue with women, i think its just a part of our make up/genetic/ ...

as women we are condition mostly to be chased or pic( even doe ooman a tek charge now an a chase men). its similar to waiting in line to be picked as a child wen u played team sports. the best athletes always got picked first and it just trickle down from there. some ppl just knew they had it and dat dem was gonna be among the ones pic first. the ok players were always anxious hoping the leader of the &quot;good&quot; team or team with star players would pic them. the lousy players were just hoping and praying that someone dont matter who would pic then so dem no the last.

the issue here is perception. we perceive ourselves to either be beautiful/ugly based on wat others say about us, and what we view as beauty. i dont really see no way of getting around dat.


like everybody else i have my moments of self doubt/ low self-esteem but overall i have always been a confident person so mi no know how to really understand these women who think that being black is a disease and who think that the real reason they are single is due to being black....i really really dont get it. i have never lived in that world and i pity the ones who are living it. its really sad.





<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Tropicana</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: jamaica_dreamin</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Tropi,

This something I agree with you on. You don't see many men becoming anorexic trying to live up to impossible standards I recently took a Sociology course (Diversity in the professions) We spent some time on this. It was an eye opener. It affects all women (there was on article we read &quot;killing her softly&quot; which pointed out how unrealistic these ideal woman stereo types are and the terrible effects it has on women's self esteem and how society views women. But black women face a &quot;double whammy&quot; as the author of the text used in the class put it.

I have to confess this was a required course. I was not seeking enlightenment but i learned a lot none the less. </div></div>

I agree. I see all kinds of women who are attractive, accomplished, etc. struggling with issues of self-esteem. I have never heard a guy say he has issue of self-esteem. In fact, even the worst losers try to come off as if they are God's gift to women. On TV you see really dumpy men paired with very attractive women. The message is that a guy can have anything or anyone he likes but if a woman is not perfect and looking like she stepped off a Cosmo cover she does not deserve anything. </div></div>

[Tropicana]

Re: Men Come Here - I Need to Vent....Again

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: ChurchDude</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Tropicana</div><div class="ubbcode-body">So what is the flippin' problem wid some a onoo? Your Black mothers and grandmothers were good enough to work hard and sacrifice to provide for you but suddenly Black women aren't flippin' good enough for you?

This is getting on my last nerve. It is bad enough when White guys automatically reject Black women. Now successful Jamaican men are also doing it.

I am royally ticked off.... <span style="font-weight: bold">YET AGAIN!! </span> </div></div>
Oh boy (((Tropicana)))

</div></div>


Well any insights or pearls of wisdom?

[Tropicana]

Re: Men Come Here - I Need to Vent....Again

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: J kid</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> Hav likkle pitty pan him Tropi, mi sure dat fi har Lawyer raked him ova di hot burning fires of hell already. </div></div>

Yup that's what he said. I feel a serve him right thread coming on.

[Tropicana]

Re: Men Come Here - I Need to Vent....Again

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Vegas</div><div class="ubbcode-body">ok at the risk of sounding harsh and or possible saying the wrong thing where u are concerned.....


ever occur to you that his not being interested in you has nothing to do with your being black? maybe him just no like u dat way, and, speculating here, but maybe him not even know u have the hots for him.

i think that had it been a black woman he was dating u would still be annoyed, although not as much. you would probable tink to uself wahmek dis badwud badwud dutty ole wukkless good fi nothing ugly ole fawt man a come call mi fi chat bout him mig mout ugly gal....no? </div></div>


1. I don't have the hots for him....like I said he is in the ballpark and worth exploring.
2. His taste in women runs White or Chinese so don't try and make this about me. ..this ain't personal.
3. Since I am not ga-ga over him, I would not have been upset if he was with another Black woman....hence there would have been no need to vent.

[SmoothOperator]

Re: Men Come Here - I Need to Vent....Again

I think the self esteem issue transcends gender. More women may struggle with it but men struggle too. They just do a better job of covering it up with what looks like bravado but deep down many wonder am I good enough. The 'ideal' of manliness as seen on the cover of GQ and men's fitness magazines is slowly infecting the male psyche. I see some of them in the gym pursuing the ideal with their 2-3 hour workout sessions. And while I believe love knows no racial boundaries if you are exclusive with asian or white women and you are a black man that in and of itself speaks to your self esteem issues.

[Diplomat]

Re: Men Come Here - I Need to Vent....Again

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: TreyJ</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I think the self esteem issue transcends gender. More women may struggle with it but men struggle too. They just do a better job of covering it up with what looks like bravado but deep down many wonder am I good enough. The 'ideal' of manliness as seen on the cover of GQ and men's fitness magazines is slowly infecting the male psyche. I see some of them in the gym pursuing the ideal with their 2-3 hour workout sessions. And while I believe love knows no racial boundaries <span style="font-weight: bold"> if you are exclusive with asian or white women and you are a black man that in and of itself speaks to your self esteem issues</span>. </div></div>
I agree you in part but the bolded portion seems too much of a generalization. Some blacks I know (men and women) who no longer date within their race do not have self-esteem issues but have made conscious decisions based on their experiences within their culture and their preferences for where they are in their lives at the moment. Psychologically, self-esteem and self-concept are different things. Someone &quot;motivated&quot; by the latter isn't necessarily lacking in the former.

[missus_vegas]

Re: Men Come Here - I Need to Vent....Again

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Tropicana</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
2. His taste in women runs White or Chinese so don't try and make this about me. ..this ain't personal.
</div></div>


so u havent been in touch with this guy for centuries, yet u know for sure he hasnt hooked up with neone besides white or chinese? yuh good sah.

i think him choosing to date a non black makes u tropi feel insecure somehow or it wouldnt bug u half as much. this black white thing really eats u up an if u were not single i dont think the issue would be so dear to ur heart. u get that &quot;there goes another eligible bachelor feeling...i get it....

u did state dat initially u were interested in him but he wasnt interested in u. and had he shown interest u would have definately dropped the baggy by now.