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The best explanation of World War I ever !!!!!!!!!
Germany, Austria and Italy are standing together in the middle of a bar when Serbia bumps into Austria and spills Austria's beer. Austria demands Serbia buy it a complete new suit because there are splashes on its trouser leg. Germany expresses its support for Austria's point of view. Britain recommends that everyone calm down a bit.
Serbia points out that it can't afford a whole suit, but offers to pay for the cleaning of Austria's trousers. Russia and Serbia look at Austria. Austria asks Serbia who it's looking at. Russia suggests that Austria should leave its little brother Serbia alone. Austria inquires as to whose army will assist Russia in compelling it to do so. Russia says France and Russia are like brothers. Austria says Germany and Austria *are* brothers, and Germany is the big brother.
As it happens, Germany has been looking for a fight for some time, and aggressively tells Britain to back off. Germany further adds that France has been looking at it, and that this is sufficiently out of order that Britain should butt out. Britain, nettled, replies that France can look at who it wants to, that Britain is looking at Germany too, and what is Germany going to do about it? And Germany had better stop looking at France’s little brother, Belgium, too.
Germany tells Russia to stop looking at Austria, or Germany will render Russia incapable of such action. Britain and France both ask Germany whether it's looking at Belgium. Germany calls on Turkey and Italy to watch its back, but Italy goes off in a corner. Turkey and Germany go off into a corner and whisper.
When they come back, Turkey makes a show of not looking at anyone. Germany rolls up its sleeves, looks at Russia, looks at France, and sucker-punches Belgium. Germany then kicks Belgium when it is down. France and Britain punch Germany. Austria punches Russia. Germany punches Britain and France with one hand and Russia with the other. Russia throws a punch at Germany, but misses and nearly falls over. Japan calls over from the other side of the room that it's on Britain's side, but stays there. Italy surprises everyone by punching Austria.
Austria punches Italy. Britain shouts for help and Australia runs in and punches Turkey, and gets punched back. There are no hard feelings because Britain made Australia do it. France gets thrown through a plate glass window, but gets back up and carries on fighting. Russia gets thrown through another one, gets knocked out, suffers brain damage, wakes up with a complete personality change, and staggers off. Italy throws a punch at Austria and misses, but Austria falls over anyway and goes all to pieces.
Germany has been throwing furniture out the window at America to keep friend-of-Britain America from coming in, but America finally comes in. America waits till Germany and France are about to fall over from sustained punching, then walks over and smashes Germany with a barstool, then pretends it won the fight all by itself. By now all the chairs are broken and the big mirror over the bar is shattered. Britain, France, Italy and America agree that Germany threw the first punch, so the whole thing is Germany's fault. Besides which, Germany had stolen France’s Alsatian last week. While Germany is still unconscious, they go through its pockets, take its wallet by way of compensation, and buy drinks for all their friends
Germany, Austria and Italy are standing together in the middle of a bar when Serbia bumps into Austria and spills Austria's beer. Austria demands Serbia buy it a complete new suit because there are splashes on its trouser leg. Germany expresses its support for Austria's point of view. Britain recommends that everyone calm down a bit.
Serbia points out that it can't afford a whole suit, but offers to pay for the cleaning of Austria's trousers. Russia and Serbia look at Austria. Austria asks Serbia who it's looking at. Russia suggests that Austria should leave its little brother Serbia alone. Austria inquires as to whose army will assist Russia in compelling it to do so. Russia says France and Russia are like brothers. Austria says Germany and Austria *are* brothers, and Germany is the big brother.
As it happens, Germany has been looking for a fight for some time, and aggressively tells Britain to back off. Germany further adds that France has been looking at it, and that this is sufficiently out of order that Britain should butt out. Britain, nettled, replies that France can look at who it wants to, that Britain is looking at Germany too, and what is Germany going to do about it? And Germany had better stop looking at France’s little brother, Belgium, too.
Germany tells Russia to stop looking at Austria, or Germany will render Russia incapable of such action. Britain and France both ask Germany whether it's looking at Belgium. Germany calls on Turkey and Italy to watch its back, but Italy goes off in a corner. Turkey and Germany go off into a corner and whisper.
When they come back, Turkey makes a show of not looking at anyone. Germany rolls up its sleeves, looks at Russia, looks at France, and sucker-punches Belgium. Germany then kicks Belgium when it is down. France and Britain punch Germany. Austria punches Russia. Germany punches Britain and France with one hand and Russia with the other. Russia throws a punch at Germany, but misses and nearly falls over. Japan calls over from the other side of the room that it's on Britain's side, but stays there. Italy surprises everyone by punching Austria.
Austria punches Italy. Britain shouts for help and Australia runs in and punches Turkey, and gets punched back. There are no hard feelings because Britain made Australia do it. France gets thrown through a plate glass window, but gets back up and carries on fighting. Russia gets thrown through another one, gets knocked out, suffers brain damage, wakes up with a complete personality change, and staggers off. Italy throws a punch at Austria and misses, but Austria falls over anyway and goes all to pieces.
Germany has been throwing furniture out the window at America to keep friend-of-Britain America from coming in, but America finally comes in. America waits till Germany and France are about to fall over from sustained punching, then walks over and smashes Germany with a barstool, then pretends it won the fight all by itself. By now all the chairs are broken and the big mirror over the bar is shattered. Britain, France, Italy and America agree that Germany threw the first punch, so the whole thing is Germany's fault. Besides which, Germany had stolen France’s Alsatian last week. While Germany is still unconscious, they go through its pockets, take its wallet by way of compensation, and buy drinks for all their friends
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