The Economist / Mugabes comments

[RichD]

Re: The Economist / Mugabes comments

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Kia</div><div class="ubbcode-body">

So if we followed your advice how will this black woman get educated unless she married before &amp; divorced </div></div>

[Tropicana]

Re: The Economist / Mugabes comments

Read my lips. If I had a daughter, I would send her to college to get some non-threatening, non-male repelling diploma:

- catering
- event planning
- fashion design
- basket weaving

something like that. Once she is married THEN pay for he university education and encourage de wutless bwoy fi ave some ambition.

What I would love to know is how come Jamaican parents (RichD is a typical Jamaican father in this respect) are so focused on encouraging the girls to have all kinds of ambition but not succeeding with the boys?

I have no girls. I am the mother of a boy and believe you me, it was exhausting!! It takes constant pushing, homework wars, etc. .... they would rather kick ball than study, even the bright ones.

[RichD]

Re: The Economist / Mugabes comments

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Tropicana</div><div class="ubbcode-body">R

What I would love to know is how come Jamaican parents (RichD is a typical Jamaican father in this respect) are so focused on encouraging the girls to have all kinds of ambition but not succeeding with the boys?

</div></div>

because Jamaican parents understand what is important

[Tropicana]

Re: The Economist / Mugabes comments

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: RichD</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Tropicana</div><div class="ubbcode-body">R

What I would love to know is how come Jamaican parents (RichD is a typical Jamaican father in this respect) are so focused on encouraging the girls to have all kinds of ambition but not succeeding with the boys?

</div></div>

because Jamaican parents understand what is important </div></div>

Yeah...I have 2 of those Where did<span style="font-weight: bold"> THAT </span>get us? One daughter in a top profession and never married...the second married to a man with little ambition, divorced and raising a child on her own (albeit with heavy involvement from the father).

Success indeed.

I think Jamaican parents have it topsy-turvey about what is important and we have a lot to learn from the Jewish and Italian parents. I can't think of a single Jewish or Italian woman who is married to a man who is whoring around as you put it and unhappy in her marriage. Not one.

You never answered my question about why Jamaican parents are placing all this emphasis on making girls ambitious but failing so miserably with the boys. It's not easy...the boys need CONSTANT pushing..believe you me I know from experience.

[RichD]

Re: The Economist / Mugabes comments

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Tropicana</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: RichD</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Tropicana</div><div class="ubbcode-body">R

What I would love to know is how come Jamaican parents (RichD is a typical Jamaican father in this respect) are so focused on encouraging the girls to have all kinds of ambition but not succeeding with the boys?

</div></div>

because Jamaican parents understand what is important </div></div>

Yeah...I have 2 of those Where did<span style="font-weight: bold"> THAT </span>get us? One daughter in a top profession and never married...the second married to a man with little ambition, divorced and raising a child on her own (albeit with heavy involvement from the father).

Success indeed.

I think Jamaican parents have it topsy-turvey about what is important and we have a lot to learn from the Jewish and Italian parents. I can't think of a single Jewish or Italian woman who is married to a man who is whoring around as you put it and unhappy in her marriage. Not one.

You never answered my question about why Jamaican parents are placing all this emphasis on making girls ambitious but failing so miserably with the boys. It's not easy...the boys need CONSTANT pushing..believe you me I know from experience. </div></div>

i wonder if the parents pushing the girls in university have their sons walking street

[kia027]

Re: The Economist / Mugabes comments

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Tropicana</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Read my lips. If I had a daughter, I would send her to college to get some non-threatening, non-male repelling diploma:

- catering
- event planning
- fashion design
- basket weaving

something like that. Once she is married THEN pay for he university education and encourage de wutless bwoy fi ave some ambition.

What I would love to know is how come Jamaican parents (RichD is a typical Jamaican father in this respect) are so focused on encouraging the girls to have all kinds of ambition but not succeeding with the boys?

I have no girls. I am the mother of a boy and believe you me, it was exhausting!! It takes constant pushing, homework wars, etc. .... they would rather kick ball than study, even the bright ones. </div></div>

Waste a money ting dat.. if the girlchild is strong in math, engineering, biology etc.. why not let her be what she wants to be rather than spend $$ to train her in something she not talented for just so a man cannot be threatened by her? Maybe a man wants someone he can relate to as well so if she is in his field she can understand what his day is like

[Tropicana]

Re: The Economist / Mugabes comments

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">i wonder if the parents pushing the girls in university have their sons walking street</div></div>


There are many families in which the girls are doing well but the boys are drifting.

[Tropicana]

Re: The Economist / Mugabes comments

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Tropicana</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Read my lips. If I had a daughter, I would send her to college to get some non-threatening, non-male repelling diploma:

- catering
- event planning
- fashion design
- basket weaving

something like that. Once she is married THEN pay for he university education and encourage de wutless bwoy fi ave some ambition.

What I would love to know is how come Jamaican parents (RichD is a typical Jamaican father in this respect) are so focused on encouraging the girls to have all kinds of ambition but not succeeding with the boys?

I have no girls. I am the mother of a boy and believe you me, it was exhausting!! It takes constant pushing, homework wars, etc. .... they would rather kick ball than study, even the bright ones. </div></div>
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Kia</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
Waste a money ting dat.. if the girlchild is strong in math, engineering, biology etc.. why not let her be what she wants to be rather than spend $$ to train her in something she not talented for just so a man cannot be threatened by her? Maybe a man wants someone he can relate to as well so if she is in his field she can understand what his day is like </div></div>

She can do that after she is married. Like it or not, most men ARE threatened.

[R_C]

Re: The Economist / Mugabes comments

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Tropicana</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> Like it or not, most men ARE threatened. </div></div>

What does it mean to be &quot;threatened&quot; ?

[Tropicana]

Re: The Economist / Mugabes comments

<span style="font-weight: bold">Are Men Intimidated By Independent &amp; Successful Women?</span>

Are you a well-educated, intelligent, independent, and successful woman… who is still single? You’re not alone (no pun intended).

More and more women are getting advanced degrees and pursuing their careers. And staying single. Sometimes voluntarily, sometimes involuntarily.

Wait, involuntarily? Why is that? What’s preventing them from being in a relationship?


Before we answer that, it’s important to realize that many women are staying single because they want to. They’re focused on their careers, are very ambitious, and are pursuing their dreams. Their hectic schedules don’t offer much time for the hassles and turmoil of dating.

Many do ultimately want a relationship, but are independent enough—financially &amp; emotionally—to postpone it until the right man comes along. They hold high standards for their men, just as they hold high standards for themselves. Although these standards weed out most of the men they meet, they don’t mind; they’re willing &amp; able to wait.

But what if you don’t want to wait anymore? Maybe you’re ready to settle down now. Maybe you’re lonely and want companionship. Maybe your biological clock is not just ticking anymore, it’s pounding. What to do, what to do…

The easy answer is: go out and find a man. Yea, sure, and while you’re at it, pick up an extra million dollars on the way home too.

Why do well-educated, intelligent, independent, and successful women find it so hard to find a man? Is it because men are intimidated by them?

To answer that, let’s look at three real-life anecdotes from women I know.


Women with MBAs

Within a local, prestigious MBA program, two girls noticed that most of their male classmates going for girls without advanced degrees. Instead of dating within their sizable pool of beautiful, sexy, and intelligent MBA classmates, the guys were dating, and even marrying, girls outside of their program. “Guys with MBAs just don’t want girls with MBAs,” one lamented. They seemed to prefer less educated women.

Women in Triathlons

After meeting a great guy, one girl was shocked to find him suddenly pulling away after a few successful dates. This was shortly after talking about her rigorous triathlon training program. He cited her busy schedule (which included work and triathlon training) as the reason to slow things down. She sensed it was more about her triathlon than her work, though he denied it. However, he would occasionally make comments about how much stronger she was than him.

Women as Doctors vs Teachers

A group of female doctors often went clubbing together. Each time, they’d try an experiment. On some nights, they’d tell guys that they were doctors. On other nights, they’d tell guys that they were teachers, librarians, and interior decorators. Guess which profession the guys gravitated towards? “It’s funny; every time we told them the truth, they’d disappear. But if we told them we were teachers or something, they’d flock around us and try to get our numbers.”

Sure sounds like men are intimidated to independent and successful women to me. We can even add physically fit to that list. What’s an independent and successful woman to do?

A Solution and a Silver Lining

Kris Frieswick of MSN Money has a solution. In her article “Too successful for a mate?” she notes that many successful women hold unrealistic expectations for a relationship. They look for a partner who is just as successful as they are, if not moreso. She suggests adjusting those expectations and seeking only those that are relevant to a happy relationship.

“I abandoned the expectation of many ‘must-have’ items in my years of dating before I met my husband.” Frieswick writes. “It’s not that I couldn’t find a man who possessed the right qualities, but it turned out they were irrelevant to a happy relationship. Was it crucial that my husband have a master’s degree? No. Would it be a deal- breaker if he didn’t love mountain biking as much as I do? No.”

Even Kathleen Gerson, a Professor of Sociology at New York University, agrees. “Women have increasingly high standards for who that partner might be, and because they have the ability to support themselves, they can afford to wait. They can apply those high standards.”

Aside from adjusting expectations, there are really many men who are not intimidated by independent and successful women. (Yup, right here on Earth!) A good buddy of mine actually seeks out highly intelligent women. The girls he dates typically have advanced degrees, are highly ambitious, and are successful in their careers.

Another good buddy won’t settle for anything less. “If I can’t have an intelligent conversation with her about things like economics or world culture,” he says, “then I can’t go out with her.”

As for me, I’m attracted to well-educated, intelligent, independent, and successful women too. I’ve dated girls who are eleven donuts short a box of dozen and those relationships never lasted too long. I can’t date a woman I don’t respect, and I have a lot of respect for intelligence, autonomy, and ambition. Plus, big brains are sexy. Mmm mmm mmm.

I realize that my friends and I are not the norm, however. But men with this mindset do exist. The majority of them are successful too. The challenge isn’t one of simply adjusting standards, in my opinion (though it’s helpful for everyone to at least have realistic standards). It’s also of trying to find one who’s compatible with you.

It’s not an impossible challenge either. As Gerson happily notes:

“The more highly educated a woman is, the more likely she is to ultimately marry. But it’s also true that she’s more likely to postpone marriage until she gains a foothold in the workplace and feels more secure about her working life until she’s a chance to figure out who she is, so she knows what kind of partner she wants.

“And ultimately, women who do postpone, especially if they’re highly educated, are more likely to find a partner who is right for them. [It is] more likely for that marriage to work, to last, and to create that balance between personal autonomy and commitment that they desire.”

[Tropicana]

Re: The Economist / Mugabes comments

<span style="font-weight: bold">Patti Stanger Blogs: How a Woman's Success Can Affect Her Relationship</span>



Amy Poehler and Will Arnett have decided to end their marriage after nine years. I know. I'm sighing, too. They were funny, so affectionate and both of them are just downright cute. I think all of America had a raging couple crush on these two and we're all hurting with them. Ben and Jerry's, order for 300 million, please!

Honestly, I do not know why this hilarious duo broke up. They're keeping it classy and being relatively private about this split, which is definitely how it should be handled. But, their breakup did get me thinking about how being a woman with a successful career affects relationships.

I know how being in the spotlight has impacted my dating life. Will is clearly successful – and I'm a huge fan of Up All Night – but Amy is undeniably the more well known and successful of the two. I can't help but wonder if that contributed to their divorce. Being more successful than your man can weigh heavy on a relationship. Here's why:

Men like to provide

This goes back to the cavemen days. Men like to provide for women and their families. It's in their DNA. I'm obviously no scientist, but I bet if you could hear a Y-chromosome talk, it would say, &quot;I want to provide and hunt.&quot; When the woman is the primary breadwinner, it's going against nature. I'm not saying that it's bad or wrong, I'm just saying that it can feel off.

Outside pressure
Even if your man is the most progressive male on the planet and is completely comfortable with his woman bringing home the bacon, the rest of the world isn't that open-minded. There will undeniably be comments and questions about your relationship dynamic.

At first, these may seem like not much more than a silly annoyance, but these comments burn and eventually, they'll wear away at your man's confidence. He'll start to notice the difficulties of your untraditional financial situation and even if the financial dynamic doesn't bother him, the attention to it might.

Feeling left out
If you're a successful woman, chances are that you spend a ton of time working. You're probably on your email a lot, taking phone calls and going on regular business trips that don't involve your man. He can start to feel left out of a very important and very time-consuming part of your life.

It's the same when it's swapped. When the husband spends too much time typing work emails and not writing enough love notes, things can get rocky.

Am I saying that Amy's amazing career was the downfall of this couple? I don't know. What I do know is that traditional gender roles are very real and flipping the norm is difficult for even the strongest, funniest, smartest men.

http://www.limelife.com/blog-entry/Patti...ger/140315.html

[Tropicana]

Re: The Economist / Mugabes comments

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: R_C</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Tropicana</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> Like it or not, most men ARE threatened. </div></div>

What does it mean to be &quot;threatened&quot; ? </div></div>

Does that answer your question?

[R_C]

Re: The Economist / Mugabes comments

Not really.

The articles are missing another perspective and it is this. Regardless of what <span style="font-weight: bold"><span style="text-decoration: underline">my</span></span> take home pay or the number of letters after my name might be, a woman who feels entitled because she has a six figure salary, or that she is God's gift to a man because she went to an Ivy League school and speaks several languages, or runs her own business and feels that men who don't are somehow inferior (to her)...is not threatening.

She's just tiresome.

[Tropicana]

Re: The Economist / Mugabes comments

Yeah....right!