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A woman came to my office the other day with a strand of her grandmothers "pearls".
She told me that they were extremely expensive and she wanted me to buy them (to re-sell).
Now, first off, I generally don't do that; Most of the time I take items on consignment. It's rare for me to outright buy an item. I just don't lay out my own money when I don't need to do so. I'm happy with my 'cut', my percentage of the sale. Upon the rare occasion, I will come across an item that I'll buy outright and re-sell... but usually it's because I already have a buyer for it. (I have a list of buyers looking for items they collect.) Or the bargain is SO damn good that I just can't pass it up, so I'll buy on spec.
Secondly, I could see from several feet away that these "pearls" weren't real; they were bad, cheap fakes. So I wasn't interested in this particular strand for any reason under the sun! I saw the peeling beads from the distance; I didn't need to see more. Bad fakes. Cheap crap - not even good costume jewelry. Not interested. Nope. Take it and go, please. dwl
I gave the woman the politeness of peering at her "pearls" just because I've learned that <span style="text-decoration: underline">not</span> doing so is perceived as <span style="font-weight: bold">insulting</span> - and they tell me so in angry terms. I dislike having to deal with angry women, especially when I'm in the right. But if I look at the cheap jewelry first, and then tell them it's garbage, they get less upset about it... at least, they usually do. Not this time.
So I gave this strand of cheap beads a quick look-see, rubbed them on my front teeth (sure enough, they slipped along my tooth enamel like silk), peered at the clasp and findings, peered closely at the string (no knots between each fake pearl, like there should be with good real pearls), noted aloud that the dark brownish color was not nice..... and smiled while I handed the beads back to the woman, shaking my head slowly at her.
"How much are the pearls worth, ma'am?"
"Well... you know they aren't real pearls, right? They --"
interrupted
"Oh, yes, they are real, ma'am. They were my grandmother's! They came from England! All the way from England, ma'am! And they've been protected from the tropical heat and all for all the years they were in Jamaica, and then we brought them here to the United States with us! They are real, man!"
"I'm sorry to say this, but they aren't pearls. They're just beads. You can see for yourself, if you --"
interrupted again
"You don't know a thing! You aren't a jeweler! You're just a somebody who sells antiques!"
"Yes. But I do know jewelry, and I do know real pearls from fakes. My husband's step-daughter is a jeweler - GIA-certified gemologist and all. And she's taught me quite a lot about jewels and jewelry. These aren't pearls! I can tell you how to tell --"
"What do you know?! How can you tell --"
I interrupted her
"AS I WAS SAYING... I can tell you how to tell real pearls! Hush!"
I waited for her silence then continued
"Real pearls are rough when you rub them against your teeth, they're gritty like sandpaper; you'll think they're gonna take your tooth enamel off of your teeth when you rub real pearls against them! Fakes just slip and slide, they feel silky on your teeth. Now... Look here - see this peeling of the top layer? Pearls - real ones - don't peel like that. Fakes peel. The cheaper the fake, the more it peels. Really good faux pearls don't peel. Also, good pearls are hand-knotted... that is, there is a hand-made knot in the string between each pearl of the strand - that's to prevent the scraping together of the pearls, 'cause pearls are very soft and easy to damage. Now that's not a dead surety - some very old strands of real pearls aren't hand-knotted, for various reasons... they were strung by non-jewelers, women at home, for example, because even back then, hand-stringing and hand-knotting pearls was very expensive... or someone restrung pearls who didn't know any better... lots of reasons. But most of the time, good pearls are - and should be - hand-knotted. That's the major expense of restringing pearls that you already own! It can cost a thousand dollars just to properly restring a single opera length strand of pearls - that's collar length - that you already own! Because someone who knows what he or she is doing has to hand-knot tightly against each pearl in the strand, consistently. It's not easy - believe me - I myself string and knot pearls! It's painstaking and time-consuming! Now, back to your strand of beads here... it's a dark brown color - not a favored color, and unlikely to sell, even as faux pearls. No one buys pearls that color. I imagine they were once lighter colored, creamy colored, right? They darkened with age? They oxidized. Real pearls don't oxidize. Whatever these beads are made of oxidized pretty badly... that's a shame. I suggest that you take these to any one of the jewelers over on Main Street, and they'll tell you exactly what I just told you. I'm really sorry to tell you the bad news this morning. These beads really aren't worth anything. Again, I'm really sorry."
I handed the beads back to her with a smile.
She got nasty with me.
"You just don't know what you're talking about. Mouth open and story jump out, young lady!"
That's when I got seriously ticked off!!!!!
"BLOUSE AN SKIRT, MAN! MI TELL YUH DI TRUTH SEH BOUT YUH CHEAP-CHEAP BEAD DEM DEH, AN DEN YU WHEEL AN CUM WID NASTY PROVERB SEH LAKA DAT, OLE OOMAN?! CHO!! MEK YU LEFF MI 'OUSE NOH! JUSS GO! YU WAN NASSTY PIECA WUK SEH!! GOOD DAY!"
And I turned my back on her until she left my office and exited the front door. I turned and watched her walk down the front porch steps.
The <span style="font-style: italic">ONLY</span> thing I regret is not looking to see her face when I started cuss-cussing her in Patois... wonder what she made of that? dwl
Was there any lesson for me in this, I wonder?
Dunno what, though...
She told me that they were extremely expensive and she wanted me to buy them (to re-sell).
Now, first off, I generally don't do that; Most of the time I take items on consignment. It's rare for me to outright buy an item. I just don't lay out my own money when I don't need to do so. I'm happy with my 'cut', my percentage of the sale. Upon the rare occasion, I will come across an item that I'll buy outright and re-sell... but usually it's because I already have a buyer for it. (I have a list of buyers looking for items they collect.) Or the bargain is SO damn good that I just can't pass it up, so I'll buy on spec.
Secondly, I could see from several feet away that these "pearls" weren't real; they were bad, cheap fakes. So I wasn't interested in this particular strand for any reason under the sun! I saw the peeling beads from the distance; I didn't need to see more. Bad fakes. Cheap crap - not even good costume jewelry. Not interested. Nope. Take it and go, please. dwl
I gave the woman the politeness of peering at her "pearls" just because I've learned that <span style="text-decoration: underline">not</span> doing so is perceived as <span style="font-weight: bold">insulting</span> - and they tell me so in angry terms. I dislike having to deal with angry women, especially when I'm in the right. But if I look at the cheap jewelry first, and then tell them it's garbage, they get less upset about it... at least, they usually do. Not this time.
So I gave this strand of cheap beads a quick look-see, rubbed them on my front teeth (sure enough, they slipped along my tooth enamel like silk), peered at the clasp and findings, peered closely at the string (no knots between each fake pearl, like there should be with good real pearls), noted aloud that the dark brownish color was not nice..... and smiled while I handed the beads back to the woman, shaking my head slowly at her.
"How much are the pearls worth, ma'am?"
"Well... you know they aren't real pearls, right? They --"
interrupted
"Oh, yes, they are real, ma'am. They were my grandmother's! They came from England! All the way from England, ma'am! And they've been protected from the tropical heat and all for all the years they were in Jamaica, and then we brought them here to the United States with us! They are real, man!"
"I'm sorry to say this, but they aren't pearls. They're just beads. You can see for yourself, if you --"
interrupted again
"You don't know a thing! You aren't a jeweler! You're just a somebody who sells antiques!"
"Yes. But I do know jewelry, and I do know real pearls from fakes. My husband's step-daughter is a jeweler - GIA-certified gemologist and all. And she's taught me quite a lot about jewels and jewelry. These aren't pearls! I can tell you how to tell --"
"What do you know?! How can you tell --"
I interrupted her
"AS I WAS SAYING... I can tell you how to tell real pearls! Hush!"
I waited for her silence then continued
"Real pearls are rough when you rub them against your teeth, they're gritty like sandpaper; you'll think they're gonna take your tooth enamel off of your teeth when you rub real pearls against them! Fakes just slip and slide, they feel silky on your teeth. Now... Look here - see this peeling of the top layer? Pearls - real ones - don't peel like that. Fakes peel. The cheaper the fake, the more it peels. Really good faux pearls don't peel. Also, good pearls are hand-knotted... that is, there is a hand-made knot in the string between each pearl of the strand - that's to prevent the scraping together of the pearls, 'cause pearls are very soft and easy to damage. Now that's not a dead surety - some very old strands of real pearls aren't hand-knotted, for various reasons... they were strung by non-jewelers, women at home, for example, because even back then, hand-stringing and hand-knotting pearls was very expensive... or someone restrung pearls who didn't know any better... lots of reasons. But most of the time, good pearls are - and should be - hand-knotted. That's the major expense of restringing pearls that you already own! It can cost a thousand dollars just to properly restring a single opera length strand of pearls - that's collar length - that you already own! Because someone who knows what he or she is doing has to hand-knot tightly against each pearl in the strand, consistently. It's not easy - believe me - I myself string and knot pearls! It's painstaking and time-consuming! Now, back to your strand of beads here... it's a dark brown color - not a favored color, and unlikely to sell, even as faux pearls. No one buys pearls that color. I imagine they were once lighter colored, creamy colored, right? They darkened with age? They oxidized. Real pearls don't oxidize. Whatever these beads are made of oxidized pretty badly... that's a shame. I suggest that you take these to any one of the jewelers over on Main Street, and they'll tell you exactly what I just told you. I'm really sorry to tell you the bad news this morning. These beads really aren't worth anything. Again, I'm really sorry."
I handed the beads back to her with a smile.
She got nasty with me.
"You just don't know what you're talking about. Mouth open and story jump out, young lady!"
That's when I got seriously ticked off!!!!!
"BLOUSE AN SKIRT, MAN! MI TELL YUH DI TRUTH SEH BOUT YUH CHEAP-CHEAP BEAD DEM DEH, AN DEN YU WHEEL AN CUM WID NASTY PROVERB SEH LAKA DAT, OLE OOMAN?! CHO!! MEK YU LEFF MI 'OUSE NOH! JUSS GO! YU WAN NASSTY PIECA WUK SEH!! GOOD DAY!"
And I turned my back on her until she left my office and exited the front door. I turned and watched her walk down the front porch steps.
The <span style="font-style: italic">ONLY</span> thing I regret is not looking to see her face when I started cuss-cussing her in Patois... wonder what she made of that? dwl
Was there any lesson for me in this, I wonder?
Dunno what, though...