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First off, we broke a record: My team processed 600 voters yesterday. That is an unprecedented number of voters for the South Ward, First District, of Orange, NJ!! An Election Board Team consists of one Election Judge, one Elections Inspector, and two Election Clerks. I am a Clerk. (The titles are really only a matter of seniority, that's how you 'earn' the two higher titles, and there are more responsibilities with the higher titles, but the pay is the same - minimal, in any case. One doesn't do this work for the money; one does it for one's sense of civic duty.)
Now... there are two books, one book for last names beginning with the letters from A-K, and the other book for last names beginning with the letters from L-Z. You have one team member on each book. One line of voters for each book. You cannot separate or divide these books, even though they are loose leaf binders. (against the law) So you can't make the lines go faster by dividing the L-Z book into L-R & S-Z, for example, and putting a third team member on that... A third team member runs the voting booth. The fourth one takes care of things like provisional ballots, paperwork, relief of the other teammates for snack or bathroom or quick smoking breaks, and the singe one-hour meal break that we each are supposed to get between the hours of 5:15am and 8:15pm. Each of us allegedly is able to work at all of these jobs. We've all been trained at them all, anyhow... BUT only H and I ever work the voting booth; P and E "don't know how". (and E is our senior-most, our judge! *rolling my eyes*) Only P and E & I ever work at the books; H claims that she doesn't remember how to do that... never mind that she' is far far FAR more senior to this than I am... *rolling my eyes* P has trouble reading the small print in the books AND can't learn how to work the voting machine AND is the least in seniority... she came/was hired after me. *I* work the voting booth just fine, and like it. *I* work at the books just fine, and like it... and I'm faster than any of the rest of my team, too. It's noticed by all of the voters AND by the County and City clerks and their office staff... it's been mentioned a lot of times. :-x There's a good reason why everyone in the County calls me "The Queen of the Provisional Ballots": My 'patter' (explanation to the uneducated voter as to what the provisional ballot is and how it works + my assurance that it WILL "count" as a vote if they are, in fact, as they claim, a registered voter) has been copied and used in training by my county officials. I have been tapped to train in classes many times. Yesterday, they all (the county, my city, the sheriff's deputies, my police) discovered that I have a great talent for people herding: I can move people pretty darn well! AND I can keep them fairly quiet so hey don't start fighting, too. I use my sense of humor, plus some acting skills. No one knew that I used to work private security at certain concert venues some 20-25 years ago... I haven't lost my skills.
I finally completely LOST MY TEMPER with the B-S of working with an Election Judge who does nothing all day long while I bust my hump, a fellow Clerk who cannot read the size print we must read, and an Elections Inspector who just sits there and laughs when she sees me getting abused publicly.
Yesterday was JUST TOO MUCH!!
People came in with NO IDEA where they usually voted under normal conditions! Now, our orders of the day were: "DO NOT ask for ID. People were either in the book, in which case they got to vote with the machine, OR they weren't, in which case they were to be given a provisional ballot with which to vote. NO ONE was to be challenged. EVERYONE was to be given a provisional ballot, no matter what!" This policy runs directly contrary to our usual policy. It was to ensue that no voter should be disenfranchised by Sandy. OK, we got it.Hard to do... Extra work for us... but we got it.
But this was KILLING me! When I went out to the line of hundreds and hundreds of voters to get people for my team... South Ward, District 1... I had a lot of trouble!
"LISTEN UP! SOUTH ONE - SOUTH WARD DISTRICT ONE - A TO K... SOUTH WARD DISTRICT ONE, IF YOUR LAST NAME BEGINS WITH A LETTER BETWEEN THE LETTERS OF A TO K, RAISE YER HAND HIGH SO I CAN SEE IT!!"
"What dos that mean, miss?"
"Do you live in the South Ward, sir?"
"I dunno. Where do I live, can you tell me, Miss?"
"Sir? Yer askin' ME where YOU live? Are you kidding?! ..... What's yer address?"
"Uh... I... Um..."
"Forget it. I'll come back to you in a while. You think about it. If you remember, sir, try to remember it, OK?"
"Miss?"
"Yes, Ma''am?"
"Do I live in the South Ward?"
"How the hell do *I* know where you live, ma'am? Is this a joke? I don't know you, do I?"
"No... But I live on Lincoln Ave... ### Lincoln Ave..."
"I don't have the address list with me, as you can SEE... but I'll come back with it as soon as I line people up, OK?"
"Thank you, Miss.. Uh..."
"Stephanie. I'm Stephanie."
"OK, now, EVERYBODY LISTEN UP, LET'S TRY THIS AGAIN!! SOUTH WARD DISTRICT ONE, SOUTH ONE, IF YOUR LAST NAME BEGINS WITH A LETTER BETWEEN THE LETTERS OF A TO K, SOUTH ONE A TO K, RAISE YER HAND HIGH SO I CAN SEE IT!!"
looking down the lines
"ALL RIGHT... I CAN TAKE... EH, HOW ABOUT 25 OF YAs? COUNT OFF! ONE... TWO... COME ONE< COUNT, PLEASE..."
they begin to count themselves off, to 25... at the 25th person - a man in a red hat, I say --
"OK! UP TO THAT MAN IN THE RED HAT, FOLLOW ME, PLEASE! I'LL BE BACK, EVERYONE! PLEASE STAY IN LINE!!"
I marched 'em all in, past the West Ward, Sixth District and the South Ward Third District to the far side of the room to us - the South Ward First District. And lined 'em all up neatly against the far wall, past our voting booth, down to the end of the wall, right up against the American flag. We are in the Board of Education building.
"Come, people, I gotta get you all in as many as possible,so everyone can get in here and vote... get up close and tight to the person ahead of you. GET COZY!! MAKE NEW FRIENDS!! Besides, it'll help you stay warm!"
When I said, "Make new friends!", I had NO IDEA how funny it was gonna come out; It was a mega hit and everyone busted out laughing! That became my catch phrase for the day! Every time I said it, I got more laughs... no matter how many times they heard it, people laughed! Make new friends, just in time for the winter holidays! Make new friends just in time to pass the time while you're here waiting! Make new friends to carpool to work with until we start getting regular gasoline deliveries again! Make new friends for playdates for your kids until he schools open again! the list of variations went on and on and on...
TBC
Now... there are two books, one book for last names beginning with the letters from A-K, and the other book for last names beginning with the letters from L-Z. You have one team member on each book. One line of voters for each book. You cannot separate or divide these books, even though they are loose leaf binders. (against the law) So you can't make the lines go faster by dividing the L-Z book into L-R & S-Z, for example, and putting a third team member on that... A third team member runs the voting booth. The fourth one takes care of things like provisional ballots, paperwork, relief of the other teammates for snack or bathroom or quick smoking breaks, and the singe one-hour meal break that we each are supposed to get between the hours of 5:15am and 8:15pm. Each of us allegedly is able to work at all of these jobs. We've all been trained at them all, anyhow... BUT only H and I ever work the voting booth; P and E "don't know how". (and E is our senior-most, our judge! *rolling my eyes*) Only P and E & I ever work at the books; H claims that she doesn't remember how to do that... never mind that she' is far far FAR more senior to this than I am... *rolling my eyes* P has trouble reading the small print in the books AND can't learn how to work the voting machine AND is the least in seniority... she came/was hired after me. *I* work the voting booth just fine, and like it. *I* work at the books just fine, and like it... and I'm faster than any of the rest of my team, too. It's noticed by all of the voters AND by the County and City clerks and their office staff... it's been mentioned a lot of times. :-x There's a good reason why everyone in the County calls me "The Queen of the Provisional Ballots": My 'patter' (explanation to the uneducated voter as to what the provisional ballot is and how it works + my assurance that it WILL "count" as a vote if they are, in fact, as they claim, a registered voter) has been copied and used in training by my county officials. I have been tapped to train in classes many times. Yesterday, they all (the county, my city, the sheriff's deputies, my police) discovered that I have a great talent for people herding: I can move people pretty darn well! AND I can keep them fairly quiet so hey don't start fighting, too. I use my sense of humor, plus some acting skills. No one knew that I used to work private security at certain concert venues some 20-25 years ago... I haven't lost my skills.
I finally completely LOST MY TEMPER with the B-S of working with an Election Judge who does nothing all day long while I bust my hump, a fellow Clerk who cannot read the size print we must read, and an Elections Inspector who just sits there and laughs when she sees me getting abused publicly.
Yesterday was JUST TOO MUCH!!
People came in with NO IDEA where they usually voted under normal conditions! Now, our orders of the day were: "DO NOT ask for ID. People were either in the book, in which case they got to vote with the machine, OR they weren't, in which case they were to be given a provisional ballot with which to vote. NO ONE was to be challenged. EVERYONE was to be given a provisional ballot, no matter what!" This policy runs directly contrary to our usual policy. It was to ensue that no voter should be disenfranchised by Sandy. OK, we got it.Hard to do... Extra work for us... but we got it.
But this was KILLING me! When I went out to the line of hundreds and hundreds of voters to get people for my team... South Ward, District 1... I had a lot of trouble!
"LISTEN UP! SOUTH ONE - SOUTH WARD DISTRICT ONE - A TO K... SOUTH WARD DISTRICT ONE, IF YOUR LAST NAME BEGINS WITH A LETTER BETWEEN THE LETTERS OF A TO K, RAISE YER HAND HIGH SO I CAN SEE IT!!"
"What dos that mean, miss?"
"Do you live in the South Ward, sir?"
"I dunno. Where do I live, can you tell me, Miss?"
"Sir? Yer askin' ME where YOU live? Are you kidding?! ..... What's yer address?"
"Uh... I... Um..."
"Forget it. I'll come back to you in a while. You think about it. If you remember, sir, try to remember it, OK?"
"Miss?"
"Yes, Ma''am?"
"Do I live in the South Ward?"
"How the hell do *I* know where you live, ma'am? Is this a joke? I don't know you, do I?"
"No... But I live on Lincoln Ave... ### Lincoln Ave..."
"I don't have the address list with me, as you can SEE... but I'll come back with it as soon as I line people up, OK?"
"Thank you, Miss.. Uh..."
"Stephanie. I'm Stephanie."
"OK, now, EVERYBODY LISTEN UP, LET'S TRY THIS AGAIN!! SOUTH WARD DISTRICT ONE, SOUTH ONE, IF YOUR LAST NAME BEGINS WITH A LETTER BETWEEN THE LETTERS OF A TO K, SOUTH ONE A TO K, RAISE YER HAND HIGH SO I CAN SEE IT!!"
looking down the lines
"ALL RIGHT... I CAN TAKE... EH, HOW ABOUT 25 OF YAs? COUNT OFF! ONE... TWO... COME ONE< COUNT, PLEASE..."
they begin to count themselves off, to 25... at the 25th person - a man in a red hat, I say --
"OK! UP TO THAT MAN IN THE RED HAT, FOLLOW ME, PLEASE! I'LL BE BACK, EVERYONE! PLEASE STAY IN LINE!!"
I marched 'em all in, past the West Ward, Sixth District and the South Ward Third District to the far side of the room to us - the South Ward First District. And lined 'em all up neatly against the far wall, past our voting booth, down to the end of the wall, right up against the American flag. We are in the Board of Education building.
"Come, people, I gotta get you all in as many as possible,so everyone can get in here and vote... get up close and tight to the person ahead of you. GET COZY!! MAKE NEW FRIENDS!! Besides, it'll help you stay warm!"
When I said, "Make new friends!", I had NO IDEA how funny it was gonna come out; It was a mega hit and everyone busted out laughing! That became my catch phrase for the day! Every time I said it, I got more laughs... no matter how many times they heard it, people laughed! Make new friends, just in time for the winter holidays! Make new friends just in time to pass the time while you're here waiting! Make new friends to carpool to work with until we start getting regular gasoline deliveries again! Make new friends for playdates for your kids until he schools open again! the list of variations went on and on and on...
TBC
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