Divorce - Wow what a shocker?

[Tropicana]

A Black man married to a white woman joined the pastoral team of our church a few years ago. Won't say in what capacity. No she was not blonde. I was not pleased of course (you know where I stand on these issues). Christian Black men are few and far between in these parts. Why im did ave to go marry a White woman. Mi noh know.




I also wasn't pleased about the fact that he had an earring.....don't beat me up that's how I feel. I think it's a terrible example for my son.

Anyway, I received a letter written by him and forwarded to the congregation. I never got around to opening it. What a shock



He and his wife have been separated and they are in the process of getting a divorce....initiated by her....yes the White woman.



I remember as a teenager a woman in the church (also White) got divorced and it was treated like the unpardonable sin. You know she was no longer allowed to be on the choir or sing solos for the church. She had a beautiful voice.

Fast forward many years. I am divorced. Felt bad about it. I was a tough decision and didn't make it for a while as no one else in the family had ever divorced. I felt so shame I kept wearing my ring for years because in my head I figured I was the only person at work who was divorced. (Go figure.) I was the first in my family to divorce and seems I jinxed the family. All my female cousins are now divorced. Divorce seems to be standard procedure in society include the church.

Another pastor (Ministry Team) stepped down about 2 years ago as he was having an "inappropriate relationship" with a young member of the Ministry team. There have also been a couple of affairs. A man and his wife who were hosting a small group had to give it up as the man (over 50) was fooling around with a woman in her 20s. Anway I notice that the husband and wife are back together.

Wow!!

[My Looh]

Well they say that almost half of marriage end in divorce. You have to figure that a large percentage of the marriages that survive do so only because of religious beliefs or because the couple stay together because of the children, not because they are happy.

So by my calculations, only about 25% of the people that do walk down the aisle, actually have successful marriages. The odds are heavily stacked against those that choose to tie the knot. No Vegas gambler would take those odds.

[Tropicana]

Wow!!

[Blackstar*]

"Til death do us part" is a helluva long time if you marry in your 20s.

[Tropicana]

I guess lifespans used to be a lot shorter. I suppose those who marry later, when major life changes and adjustments have been completed, have a better chance of making it together till the end.

Curious, do you think pastors should remain in their positions while they are going through a divorce? It's interesting that thinking has changed so drastically. Previously, people going through separation and divorce could not sing on the choir or even teach Sunday School or help in the nursery. Divorce was definitely the unpardonable sin.

I remember going to a Vineyard Christian Fellowship Conference for people who were divorced and separated around the time of my divorce. The two pastors had both been divorced and the wife of one of the pastors was on her 3rd marriage. They asked if someone is a thief, repents of his sin and becomes a Christian, can he be a pastor, teach Sunday School, Sing on the Choir? Almost all hands went up and said "yes". When the same question was asked about divorcees, people voted "no" even though this was an audience filled with separated and divorced Christians. That kind of put things in perspective for me.

[Peasie]

"Til death do us part" is a helluva long time if you marry in your 20s.

Time is relative. I was married in my 20s. We were married for 26 years when he died. It seemed like a very short time.

Maybe the vow should be "Til we do not love and respect each other anymore"

[Xavier]

I learned a few days ago of a married couple that were always together are actually divorced and been that way for a few years...They still live together...I was very surprised.

[Tropicana]

You mean they were married but they got divorced and continued to live under the same roof? I have heard of people doing this for their kids.

[blugiant]

A Black man married to a white woman joined the pastoral team of our church a few years ago. Won't say in what capacity. No she was not blonde. I was not pleased of course (you know where I stand on these issues). Christian Black men are few and far between in these parts. Why im did ave to go marry a White woman. Mi noh know. I also wasn't pleased about the fact that he had an earring.....don't beat me up that's how I feel. I think it's a terrible example for my son. Anyway, I received a letter written by him and forwarded to the congregation. I never got around to opening it. What a shock He and his wife have been separated and they are in the process of getting a divorce....initiated by her....yes the White woman. Wow!!

tropi nuh lang thyme mii tell yuh dat interracial marriages ave sum aff de iiighest divorce rate, widd sellouts ann mzungu oomen leadinn de way. onlee olda mzungu playtings ann oyinbo men ave stable marriage rate

[Tropicana]

Yes...but come ansah me bout de Long Island segregation biznizz