The Tropicana sensitivity training session, sign here class start Jan 14

[Tropicana]

dem ink blot psychological images ave deen discredited as a psycholocical tools. dem perceptsham images iss awlso a joke cah peeps fram diffarant kulcha see tings diffarantlee

Those are not ink blog psychological tests....FAR from it. They are precisely about what different people perceive.

I would love to show you how they work but, if no one will try them though, we can't debrief them.

FYI, this is what an ink blot test looks like.


blot3.gif

What I posted is VERY different.

[Tropicana]

So to dahjah, blugiant, twiney, and anyone else advocating "confront people with your issues even if they have just gone through a personal tragedy", think back to the last time someone close to you was very sick, injured, or, heaven forbid, someone close to you had just passed away, how would you have felt if someone had bombarded you with a highly confrontational approach? Would you have had enough bandwidth to put your deep pain aside and deal objectively with their concerns.

[Tropicana]

Let's try again:

Perception Exercise - What is it?

For each of the following, please answer the question What is it?

If you have done this exercise before, please don't give it away, let others take a stab at it.





A._______________________________________






B.__________________________





C._______________________________________

[Emperah]

treat peeps de way dem treat yuh onlee fools treat peeps bettar dan oww dem treat yuh.

[Tropicana]

So again I ask. How is this philosophy working for you in terms of getting you the relationships you want with bosses, co-workers, etc.? I am truly interested in examples of how a my needs must be addressed immediately at all times approach has lead to win-win solutions for you.

[Emperah]

Have u ever read the book "mastering the art of war"?
Author Sun Tzu
This book is bettah than anything u could ever post on how to deal with ppl and society, if you don't know it you should chk it.

i have no probs licking out against fi get lick out at the time of an event.
I also know when to and when not depending if I care bout the person or not, if dem a guh troo supm seh smaddy dead fi dem an dem wrong mi inna de wuss way...
Dat is no excuse caz smaddy dead. It is at this time they should be more passionate jus caz a wah dem a guh troo. If dem wrong mi I would mek dem kno i kno yuh a guh troo sittin an yuh cyaan tink str8 but hear dis... done wid it and dem cyan tink bout dat and add dat tuh dem brain mattah.
I will not feel more fi ppl who feel less fi dem jus fi save dem feelings, growing up as a yute and doing that for many years, did good not one time.

[blugiant]

So again I ask. How is this philosophy working for you in terms of getting you the relationships you want with bosses, co-workers, etc.? I am truly interested in examples of how a my needs must be addressed immediately at all times approach has lead to win-win solutions for you.

tropi tink pon diss wan asian wey didd real sick took a couple days aff fe gitt treatment. wen shi came back shi slapped de blakk man woo wass subbinn fe ar inn front aff ar yuths accussinn imm aff teefinn ar stuff. blakk yuths woooinn ann ahhinn. stunned blakk man sed imm neva teef ar stuffs ann imm told ar her friend came and took dem cah de asian ooman called ar ann ask ar to do dat. de forgettfull asian ooman juss walk away natt apologizinn ann de blakk sub juss took dat cah imm fraid fe lose imm jab. mii told ar dat shi wrang ann iff shi tried dat widd mii mii wood boxx ar dunn no matter oww sick shi wass. den mii gitt ar boss fe write ar upp cah settinn dat typa example wey wan shart asian ooman woo wass sick slapped de blakk man infront aff blakk children set a badd preceedent dat wood mekk blakk yuths disrespect de blakk man inn da future. mii co-workars ask mii y mii neva gave ar a bly cah shi wass natt feelinn well, recievinn treatment ann on medication. tropi fimi need fe see blakks treated widd respect ann fe give blakk yuths pride inn blakk role mode wass y mii reacted dat way. win win solution doan tekk prioreetee ova addressinn mii needs wen addars figgit de golden rule

[Tropicana]

Again I would love to hear some examples of when this strategy has worked for you.

Sometimes we forget that there are many approaches to conflict management. It is just:

- confronting
- avoidance - backing down

Some cultures like Jamaican tend to use a more direct confrontational approach. Others like Japan and Canada tend to rely on avoidance more. There is a whole continuum between those extremes. Over reliance on any one strategy is bound to cause problems and reduce the likelihood of generating win-win outcomes that serve you. The key is to pick the right strategy and communication method for the time, situation and power dynamics.

Conflict Resolution Strategies


conflictpowergrid.jpg

Since we are dealing with examples involving crises like illness and death also consider wellness continuum and determine if this has an impact on your strategy.

[Tropicana]

tropi tink pon diss wan asian wey didd real sick took a couple days aff fe gitt treatment. wen shi came back shi slapped de blakk man woo wass subbinn fe ar inn front aff ar yuths accussinn imm aff teefinn ar stuff. blakk yuths woooinn ann ahhinn. stunned blakk man sed imm neva teef ar stuffs ann imm told ar her friend came and took dem cah de asian ooman called ar ann ask ar to do dat. de forgettfull asian ooman juss walk away natt apologizinn ann de blakk sub juss took dat cah imm fraid fe lose imm jab. mii told ar dat shi wrang ann iff shi tried dat widd mii mii wood boxx ar dunn no matter oww sick shi wass. den mii gitt ar boss fe write ar upp cah settinn dat typa example wey wan shart asian ooman woo wass sick slapped de blakk man infront aff blakk children set a badd preceedent dat wood mekk blakk yuths disrespect de blakk man inn da future. mii co-workars ask mii y mii neva gave ar a bly cah shi wass natt feelinn well, recievinn treatment ann on medication. tropi fimi need fe see blakks treated widd respect ann fe give blakk yuths pride inn blakk role mode wass y mii reacted dat way. win win solution doan tekk prioreetee ova addressinn mii needs wen addars figgit de golden rule

Situations need to be addressed. No one is disputing that. Now in this situation if she had the strength to slap someone, clearly the crisis had past or subsided. By the way, you used one of the strategies from the grid I just posted...indirect intervention. I didn't see your situation until after I posed the grid as I was busy creating it. It's inserting the situation you provided is a perfect fit. If situation is truly urgent it has to be addressed without delay but the way to generate a successful outcome is not to march in and cuss of the woman. You handled it correctly by leveraging the power relationship that her boss had in relationship to her.

One mistake we tend to make is treat all situations with the same degree of urgency using a direct confrontational approach. This is unlikely to consistently lead to desirable outcomes.

[Tropicana]

Case for Discussion

Let me give you another example of indirect intervention. A former colleague who was Jamaican ran into this. She was working for a Director who was impossible. Won't go into the long history but the Director's behaviour had caused her major stress to the extent that her cycle was disrupted. A direct confrontation would have gotten her fired and she needed the job as she had just separated from her husband and she had a young daughter. She was about to use an indirect influence approach by setting up an appointment with the VP to direct her concerns when it was announced that the Director was unmarried and pregnant. She had received a dressing down from the VP who said he didn't want the company turned into a home for unwed mothers and chastised her for setting a bad example. She was pressured into expediting her divorce and marrying the father of the child.

My colleague decided that with all the heat coming down, it would not be a good time to escalate her concerns. Her situation was uncomfortable but not urgent.

Fast forward. The Director returned from a short mat leave. My colleague did her best to tiptoe around her. About 6 months later another colleague asked her for coffee to discuss a disturbing situation. The Director had forged her signature to a document. My colleague asked where the document was. It was in a locked cabinet but the keys were in a place where they could be accessed. My colleague confided in a Black male co-worker (Black but not West Indian). He worked in a totally different department. The male co-workers said it had to be addressed immediately. The two of them composed an anonymous letter to the CEO. Got a copy of the document and in the letter let the CEO know where the original was located. After hours they went into the office. This was before the days of cameras every where but there were floors where cards had to be swiped. This had to be manoeuvred carefully. They left a copy of the letter in a confidential envelope on the CEO's assistant's desk.

The Black male co-worker was concerned that this might get shoved under the rug, so he also went to his Director, described what had transpired in the other department (without divulging about the anonymous letter). That director approached his VP who approached the CEO. With information coming from 2 independent sources, this could not be shoved under the rug. The CEO let the director know she was no longer welcome. In view of the fact that she had a young child and shaky marriage, he gave her time to find another job and she was gone.

True story by the way.

Brilliantly played. Sometimes waiting pays off. Both the Jamaican and the CEO displayed sensitivity and the situation was resolved. A triple win resolution though if a Black Director had pulled a stunt like that you know she would have been shown the door.

How would you have handled the situation?

[Tropicana]

I started this class by personal invitation but no one is doing the exercises or sharing examples.

[Tropicana]

Bumped for our newest participant lonewolf. Please join me in welcoming him.

[lonewolf]

Bumped for our newest participant lonewolf. Please join me in welcoming him.

Is this like an AA meeting like Alcoholics Anonymous?

Hi, I'm Lonewolf and I'm insensitive....Ok, I admitted it. Am I on my way to recovery?

Man! I need a drink! This is going to be tough!

[Tropicana]

Welcome.

Just take your time and work through the exercises and cases. and review the audio visual material at your own pace. I am here to support and encourage you.

[My Looh]

Is this like an AA... meeting ...?

No! At an AA meeting you don't have to leave your nads at the door.