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Re: Stuck in the Middle
i gotta say loops has a point there; maybe not consciously 'cruel', but certainly spineless. and whether it's just 'thoughtless' or on-purpose, it feels just as bad to the other person. I can (eventually [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/grin.gif[/img]) forgive someone if they at the very least, have the common courtesy to tell me what's going on, and what they gotta do. even if i hate it, i feel if they can be big enough to tell the truth i can be big enough to deal with it. but just runnin off and makin ppl sick worryin about them, nope, that's nasty. and cowardly.
If the woman wants to go and live her life, OK then. but she should have the b@@lls to be honest with the husband. Have a speck of flickin decency about it. There's no crime in doing what you gotta do, but dont sneak off like a skink in the night. As a best friend, that's the only part i would not stand by, and would say so. (tough love ya know, my BF loves me for it.)
having said that.... that same BF actually was once in a situation like yours boundy. I was the wronged woman, and the 'other woman' messin with my man, was her 2nd-best friend. (interestingly, [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70402-thinking.gif[/img] someone i instantly disliked the moment i met her, long before i knew the guy. never could figure out exactly why. but yuh know how some ppl just give you some vibe, they just bother yuh? make your lips curl up in distaste? well that was her)
so i was going thru it with this guy, spending a lotta time just chillin at home instedda with him, BF was goin out like usual with the 2 ah them and the crew. well, she took it as long as she could, a couple months, until one night she came home in tears and told me everything. said love means 'no lies' and she couldnt lie to me any more, told me i wasn't crazy and i'd been right all along (we had both been suspectful usee).
then she said 'don't worry the nastiest thing you think you have to tell dem, trust me i already said it all. and more'. Apparently she'd just had it with the luvy duvy bizness, movin-in-together plans, them tryna have her join the secret club shh! don't tell caf, giggle, giggle.... she got so fed up she stood up and told em both where the hayul to get the eff off, made a big scene in public, in fronta all our friends. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70377-loveeyes.gif[/img] o how i love that girl!
in the end she wound up giving them polite respect- after all, they do have a right to live how they like- but she's not friends with them anymore, cause of the way they chose to handle it. They coulda had some decency and told us up front what was going on. but no, they took the soap-opera drama route, hurt us both, and wrecked relationships. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70388-shameonyou.gif[/img] nope, that nah make it. Showed themselves to be sneaky weasels. she dint want no part of ppl like that.
doing what you haf to do is one thing, but how it's done makes a difference. one can be selfish & heartless, or kind and respectful. which choice a person make shows their character.
i gotta say loops has a point there; maybe not consciously 'cruel', but certainly spineless. and whether it's just 'thoughtless' or on-purpose, it feels just as bad to the other person. I can (eventually [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/grin.gif[/img]) forgive someone if they at the very least, have the common courtesy to tell me what's going on, and what they gotta do. even if i hate it, i feel if they can be big enough to tell the truth i can be big enough to deal with it. but just runnin off and makin ppl sick worryin about them, nope, that's nasty. and cowardly.
If the woman wants to go and live her life, OK then. but she should have the b@@lls to be honest with the husband. Have a speck of flickin decency about it. There's no crime in doing what you gotta do, but dont sneak off like a skink in the night. As a best friend, that's the only part i would not stand by, and would say so. (tough love ya know, my BF loves me for it.)
having said that.... that same BF actually was once in a situation like yours boundy. I was the wronged woman, and the 'other woman' messin with my man, was her 2nd-best friend. (interestingly, [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70402-thinking.gif[/img] someone i instantly disliked the moment i met her, long before i knew the guy. never could figure out exactly why. but yuh know how some ppl just give you some vibe, they just bother yuh? make your lips curl up in distaste? well that was her)
so i was going thru it with this guy, spending a lotta time just chillin at home instedda with him, BF was goin out like usual with the 2 ah them and the crew. well, she took it as long as she could, a couple months, until one night she came home in tears and told me everything. said love means 'no lies' and she couldnt lie to me any more, told me i wasn't crazy and i'd been right all along (we had both been suspectful usee).
then she said 'don't worry the nastiest thing you think you have to tell dem, trust me i already said it all. and more'. Apparently she'd just had it with the luvy duvy bizness, movin-in-together plans, them tryna have her join the secret club shh! don't tell caf, giggle, giggle.... she got so fed up she stood up and told em both where the hayul to get the eff off, made a big scene in public, in fronta all our friends. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70377-loveeyes.gif[/img] o how i love that girl!
in the end she wound up giving them polite respect- after all, they do have a right to live how they like- but she's not friends with them anymore, cause of the way they chose to handle it. They coulda had some decency and told us up front what was going on. but no, they took the soap-opera drama route, hurt us both, and wrecked relationships. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70388-shameonyou.gif[/img] nope, that nah make it. Showed themselves to be sneaky weasels. she dint want no part of ppl like that.
doing what you haf to do is one thing, but how it's done makes a difference. one can be selfish & heartless, or kind and respectful. which choice a person make shows their character.
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