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Getting “Bun”: Want to reduce a Jamaican man to a quivering mass of spineless jelly? Advise him that you have a strong, but unconfirmed, suspicion that his woman has been cheating on him. (Some men will fly into an incoherent rage but that’s for another article) It doesn’t matter how loudly he has proclaimed in the past that “Nuh gyal cyan give me bun!” and “If she waan leave, mek she leave den! Rrrr!”, news of his woman’s infidelity will cause his nerve to shatter like Red Stripe bottles thrown on stage at Sting. Jamaican men are secretly terrified of being cuckolded and it’s not hard to understand why. A huge part of our self esteem rests on our supposed mastery of the fairer sex. When the fairer sex asserts its will by choosing another man over us it amounts to a nullification of our “mastery” which generally destroys our confidence and leaves us a snivelling mess.
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Dear Pastor,
Thank you for the good work that you have been doing. I have been reading your column for many years and I listen to your programme every night. I am a married man and my wife and I have four children together. She is 51 years old and I am 60. I am having a big problem with her. She is not behaving.
She is along with a man who drives a taxi. Everybody in the area knows that she is giving me 'bun' with him. People are talking about it and my friends are laughing at me. Even my big son told me that it is true, and that he talked to his mother about her behaviour and told her he is embarrassed about it. For that reason, my son does not travel in that taxi at all.
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We bought this house together. We tried to educate the children and nothing is wrong with me physically. I only cheated on my wife twice and I never told her, and that woman is not even living in Jamaica anymore. I went to do carpentry work in the country, and she came by to visit me where I was staying and I fooled around her, and that was all.
I don't know what to do. This taxi man could be my wife's son. She says that she is not having an affair with this man, but I know better, and everybody says that they are together. Please give me your advice.
D.E., St. Catherine
Dear D.E.,
I do not believe that your son would lie on his mother. He told you because he is convinced that his mother is having an intimate relationship with the taxi man and he is ashamed of her conduct. I am sure that he hears what other people are saying and he can see for himself. I don't know the reason why she has become sexually involved with the taxi man.
Sometimes taxi men have been very helpful to commuters and, to them, the age doesn't matter. whether they are in their twenties, middle-age or older, if the women are willing to have relationships with them, they are ready.
Some women would sell their souls for free rides in motor cars. And perhaps this man is giving her money. And, who knows, she might be giving him money too. You may blame the taxi man but, although he is wrong to have an affair with her, it is your wife who has made herself cheap by making herself available to him.
I suggest that you talk to your wife and tell her, although she says that she is not having an affair, that both of you should go and see a family counsellor. And I further suggest that you gather all your children together and have a family discussion about their mother. Make sure she is present. Don't accuse her of anything, but express to the children how unhappy you are. Although you have spoken to their mother about the relationship she is having with this man, she continues to travel in his car.
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THE TERM 'bun him' is a popular term used to refer to matters of sex and relationships. If a woman complains to her friend about her partner the advice she will likely receive is to: 'bun him', meaning to cheat on him.
'Bun him' or 'Man a get bun' have been for decades popular sayings in the Jamaican society. Used to mean that a man has been cuckolded or that his wife has been visited by another man.
Late last year, the song Bun Him by dancehall artiste Macka Diamond and Black-er saw a resurgence of the term.
However for years Jamaican entertainers have used 'bun' terms in their lyrics.
Lloyd Lovindeer sang: "Man a gi bun an' a get back bun a no nothin' dat, call it bun fi bun".
The 'bun fi bun' scenario explains the situation of both partners in a relationship having an affair.
It is hard to trace the genesis of the term, however, Joan Latty, family therapist, notes that the word is better understood in the Jamaican context. "It is easily and better understood in our grassroots to say 'man a get bun', 'bun fi bun' or 'bun him' than to be explained in a certain context to say he is having an affair," says Latty who is based at Northern Caribbean University community counselling centre.
"However the 'bun fi bun' in relationships is usually a case of doing as the other is doing. A woman finds out that her partner is cheating and she decides to retaliate by 'bunning him'.
"Then it might lead to 'bun fi bun' because I'm angry, I'm fighting back, I'm retaliating and as such the relationship can in fact end up being violent," says Ms. Latty.
BURN OR BUN
In the Jamaican context, bun also means burn (patois version with the letter r dropped).
'Bun' meaning fire burning is popular slang for the Rastafarians. Propelled by deejay Capleton, whose many lyrics speak of burning, fire bunning is thrown on any happenings or objects that is believed to be against the Rastafarian faith, such as fire bun for Babylon or Rome.
'Bun Head' is also a negative term used to describe women who straighten their hair with hot combs. This was frowned on by Rastas who saw the practice as opposed to their belief in all things natural.
'Bun' is also spoken of in the context of food. Many Jamaicans profess that the sweetest part of a rice and peas is the 'bun, bun' or the particles at the base of the pot that have been burnt. Many people love to east this.
"When you eat a 'bun bun' rice and peas, you have to lick your fingers," says Ian Daley. Mr. Daley says that as a child whenever his mother cooked pigtail stews he used to wait until dinner was served to sit with the the pot and scrape the 'bun bun' into his mouth. "The 'bun bun' of a rice an and peas is especially nice with the gravy of the chicken," added Mr. Daley.
Professor Rex Nettleford told Lifestyle that the act of giving bun should not be confused with that of burning.
There is an etymological difference, neither of which is positive. But it's just a part of our Jamaican culture and yet another way that we are good at using the language creatively.Comment
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Look like I am the only Jamaican who didn't know this expression. My patois expert knew immediately and burst out laughing as soon as I mentioned it.
But the joke is pon onoo as no one can explain the origin of the expression.
Last edited by Tropicana; 03-22-2014, 12:10 AM.Comment
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How come it took me so long to come across this expression...it's every where.
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