Calling HR People

[neutral]

Re: Calling HR People

Is there any way you can re-issue her a job description,or have some kind of progress meeting with her making sure to outline the things she is great at,and how efficient she is,...but also pointing out areas that you think she could possibly tighten up,she sounds like a nice person,just with the tendency to be annoying in some areas in the workplace.

[Nylah]

Re: Calling HR People

Tropi. Spot on

Hence the manipulation aspect of her personality.

Good thing he sees right thru it and says as much to me.

She really is not a malicious person - I cant stress this enough - she just doesnt know how to act.

That is why Kia's comment is really resonating.

[Nylah]

Re: Calling HR People


After year end, I think this is what I want to concentrate on and perhaps do. I have read thru her personnel file and to an extent this has been done but I feel I can work on this further with her. I really dont want to let her go. I want to find some good solutions to improve the situation. I want her to believe in herself and easy off the perfectionist bit because I fear that she will not be well tolerated in another office. (This is her first office job)

This has been a good "exercise" for me as well - finding positive HR solutions to deal and help improve employee motivation, skill sets etc.

Since going to contract work, I havent had to deal with others whose personalities and behavioural patterns are different than mine. So, I look at this as a way to stretch as well.....because I really dont want to kill this poor child

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: neutral</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Is there any way you can re-issue her a job description,or have some kind of progress meeting with her making sure to outline the things she is great at,and how efficient she is,...but also pointing out areas that you think she could possibly tighten up,she sounds like a nice person,just with the tendency to be annoying in some areas in the workplace. </div></div>

[Tropicana]

Re: Calling HR People

Nylah are there racial dynamics here? What race is she? What race are you? The CEO? The former Comptroller?

If he is White and she is White and you are Black. I wouldn't trust this for a second:

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Good thing he sees right thru it and says as much to me. </div></div>

Trust me, you don't know who she is related to or who she is rooksin fi dat mattah!! I've seen it ALL!! When they behave this way it is because they KNOW they can get away with it. She has been there FIVE YEARS!! That is telling.

Are there any possibilities for her to make a lateral move that will be perceived as more attractive. That would free you up to screen carefully and find someone better.

This is also telling:

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">So, I can only cut her so much slack because when it means they are paying me to do basic office type stuff when she has no work to do then this isnt efficient. </div></div>

White &quot;assistants&quot; often resent taking direction from Black female professionals. So her games result in YOU being forced to do the basic office stuff yourself. Trust me....been there, done that, more than once too. I basically just became self-sufficient. Yes it meant longer hours and taking things home but it was a lot less hassle.

[Nylah]

Re: Calling HR People


Man, I know i am gonna sound like I am speaking out of both sides of my mouth here but Tropi I just dont think she is that &quot;clever&quot; enough to be using racial dynamics.

Here is why. Although me and the previous Controller are black, the CEO is white with a non-white wife - in addition the previous Controller's mom is a semi-retired Consultant who was at one point a Principal. They have been working together for decades and are as thick as theives as it were. They have been successful because every last one of them is cut from the same cloth. The previous Controller is also my friend - and hence why she recommended me for the position because we work the same.

Now, S may try to get her foot in there as it were but like I said it backfires because she angers the others and I smooth it out. If you break it down for her - she just doesnt get it. She will explain that she was just trying to do well etc. etc. instead of absorbing the cues you are trying to teach her.

I really dont know - it is the strangest thing to watch in action. I have never dealt with a personality so foreign to my own.

[Nylah]

Re: Calling HR People

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> Trust me, you don't know who she is related to or who she is rooksin fi dat mattah!! I've seen it ALL</div></div>




There is ZERO room for her to make any lateral move period. The office is simply too small for any of that. And there is no possibility of her attempting to take my position as a Controller.


The business will more than likely wind itself down in 5 to 10 years as the Consultants who have been working there since the 70's start retiring.

[Tropicana]

Re: Calling HR People

Too bad. Man you are in a difficult situation.


Again I ask, why is she still there. Who does she know?

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
I really dont know - it is the strangest thing to watch in action. I have never dealt with a personality so foreign to my own.


</div></div>

She is playing a game. Now that don't mean that she is right upstairs. That is even more dangerous as the game playing is a deeply ingrained survival strategy. In Ontario, if someone has psychiatric problems and it is causing them to screw up at work, you can't fire them as they are considered to have a disability and this is protected under human rights legistlation.

I had one who put me through absolute and total hell. Turned out she had psychiatric problems. With this chick, I eventually put my concerns in writing and indicated that I was going to become self-sufficient. That's exactly what I did. I wasn't her boss but she did provide clerical support to me and some others (WHITE) and she never seemed to resent taking direction from them. Mind you she still screwed things up. LONG time after I put my concerns in writing, we were in a meeting and her affect was completely flat...completely. Two days later, she didn't show up for work or call. This was surprising as she was very reliable when she came to that. When I learned that her child was with her ex-husband for the night and her neighbour who kept an eye on here was out of town.....I KNEW something was wrong. I alerted our boss. He wouldn't listen to me even though based on my professional background I was qualified to spot these things. When my co-worker who was White heard he didn't listen to me SHE went in....he listened to her even though she was not qualified.

I'll save you the drama and the play by play. She had attempted suicide. LONG time after that, MORE drama which I'll spare you and she was eventually, moved to another department. One day my boss came in and said that she had committed suicide. THEN he shared that the company was in no way liable as she had a psychiatric illness...won't say which one....you never know who is reading.

So as I said, maybe she isn't all there, but she is using strategies and tactics to ensure HER survival. Be careful that SHE doesn't survive at YOUR expense.

[Tropicana]

Re: Calling HR People

To summarize, you need a paper trail. Follow my advice, document, document and document. Give her DETAILED instructions in writing. Do lots of e-mail summaries for her after you give her verbal instructions &quot;just to confirm&quot;. Keep the documents at home.

I am dealing with one now who I am ready to strangle. LONG story. You know it's to do the simplest thing and, in spite of that, I have put together a contrat and I am driving 3 hours one way tomorrow to meet with her and her boss. The boss has not made herself available for ANY conference calls. I have an older cousin who used to say that keeping a job in this country is much harder than finding a job. DON'T lose your cool with her whatever you do. It will be used against you.

I had another one that was so provoking that when she started up I would walk round the block, buy a coffee and muffin, close my door and have it. I did put on weight from all the muffins but it saved my sanity and it saved me from licking her dung and committing murder.

[Nylah]

Re: Calling HR People

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> I KNEW something was wrong. I alerted our boss. He wouldn't listen to me even though based on my professional background I was qualified to spot these things. When my co-worker who was White heard he didn't listen to me SHE went in....he listened to her even though she was not qualified.

I'll save you the drama and the play by play. She had attempted suicide. LONG time after that, MORE drama which I'll spare you and she was eventually, moved to another department. One day my boss came in and said that she had committed suicide. THEN he shared that the company was in no way liable as she had a psychiatric illness...won't say which one....you never know who is reading.
</div></div>

You see this is complete and utter B.S. because you say the warning signals long time and they just brush it aside like so

i worked for a big company a few years ago where one of the managers in another province committed suicide as well. I was part of a brand new finance team. We replaced a group that had been in place for more than a decade so can see the resentment all ready.....plus we were young and female.....

We uncovered a mind-boggling level of fraud within a few months of being in place. The Controller at the time asked me to point out the to President what some of the &quot;discrepenices&quot; were...she tried to use me as a sheild because him and her clashed all the time but him and I got along well. So the President wants to give the manger a chance to explain himself as it were - we BOTH said HELL NO. Given the level of fraud and the length of time, someone so conrner will react badly......

the only small mercy is that this guy didnt take the gun to the plant to eliminate those involved as well. He just put the gun to his own head instead. But you know who got blamed for the mess....The Controller quit from the pressure and I spent the next 2 years completely miserable

You have to be careful with ppl who may or may not be unstable. You are so right because you can easily be sucked into their vortex.

I will approach the CEO at some point because as sweet as I feel she is, you are right - blow back is possible - and I need to nip it in the butt!

[Nylah]

Re: Calling HR People

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Again I ask, why is she still there. Who does she know?
</div></div>


Good question. I am surprised my friend in the position before hadnt dealt with before.

I will ask her this Friday when we go Salsa dancing together

[Nylah]

Re: Calling HR People

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> I did put on weight from all the muffins but it saved my sanity and it saved me from licking her dung and committing murder.
_________________________
</div></div>

Sorry but this made be buss out laughing

You see how you still pay for it in the end

I am doing my best not to lose my cool with her because no matter what I look bad since I should be above that. I make sure I sleep the night before because my patience is well short when I am tired

[Tropicana]

Re: Calling HR People

GOOD move....and I don't mean salsa move either.

Listen to this other one. I was having day long meetings one really hot summer day and the air conditionning as broken in the building. The meeting room was UNBEARABLE!! I wracked my brains to figure out how to make things more comfortable for people. Finally I had it. At lunch time, I went to the grocery store and brought back cans of frozen concentrate for pink lemonade. Paid for it out of my own pocket. I barely got back in time for the meeting. I explained the situation to the White temp secretary and asked her to mix the lemonade, put some ice in it and bring it in. She did it but then complained to the boss that this was too demeaning for her. I'm taking initiative to make things comfortable for people and it's too demeaning for HER!! Trust me, after that boss left and we needed more temps, no WAY did we ever use her again I saw to it. Anyway, it helped me come up with a good idea. After that, I kept popsicles in the fridge and in the summer I would surprise people with popsicle meeting breaks in the afternoon. You have fe find a way to work round de John crow dem.

Remember, if you are Black and the assistant is White, 9/10 times they will resent it and make your life a living hell, backbite you, carry go bring come, carry news to the boss, play dumb, and engage in passive aggressive behaviour so that you get fed up and do the work yourself. If you move to a new position and you have a chance, indicate that you want to hire your own assistant. When you find one that is good, bring him or her with you wherever you go. Watch the gossipers and news carriers, they are the most dangerous of all. When they start playing dumb, watch your back. If they are barking mad, protect yourself or YOU will be blamed if they ever do something drastic. NEVER EVER lose your cool with them just get really professional in your demeanour. If they ever snipe at you or attack you in a meeting or in front of your boss, run don't walk to the nearest exit as soon as you can. She is doing it because she KNOWS she can get away with it. She is either connected to someone high up in the company or one of the subsidiaries or she is rooksin someone in high places.

Sorry to hear you are going through this. I hope some of my advice will be of use.

[Tropicana]

Re: Calling HR People

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Tropicana</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> I did put on weight from all the muffins but it saved my sanity and it saved me from licking her dung and committing murder.

</div></div>
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Nylah</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
Sorry but this made be buss out laughing

You see how you still pay for it in the end </div></div>

Mi know
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Nylah</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
I am doing my best not to lose my cool with her because no matter what I look bad since I should be above that. I make sure I sleep the night before because my patience is well short when I am tired </div></div>

And you will be blamed. Remember, muffins, Godiva chocolate, walks around the block, work out at the gym, lunch time prayer meeting, Bible conference.....whatever it takes so that you don't loose your cool. What I did after a while was to keep some Jamaican videos and beautiful videos with music and scenery in my desk. When people got to me, mi would take off fi a confernce room fi wuk and play de video dem. If you have your own office, bring in a portable TV video player and close the door as often as you have to so you don't lick ar dung.

[Nylah]

Re: Calling HR People

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> She did it but then complained to the boss that this was too demeaning for her. I'm taking initiative to make things comfortable for people and it's too demeaning for HER!! Trust me, after that boss left and we needed more temps, no WAY did we ever use her again I saw to it.</div></div>

but wait She have a nerve eh? Beneath HER like she is being paid the big bucks to run things ~kissteet~

How you dealth with it is something I would do. I dont see no better than or less than business in it. You are all in this together so let's do what we can to make it bearable for ALL.

Plus it helps keep moral up and this is key. And Miss Temp wants to say mixing juice is outside her job description

Since you posed the question about why she is still there I have been thinking that part of it is because the CEO is so reserved, he doesnt like dealing with HR issues. He is observant but doesnt like the &quot;emotional mess&quot; that comes with it.

Hence why it falls on my shoulders. With my friend I am guessing because it is a contract position and just wasnt worth the headache of dealing with it. S does make some moves because she can get away with it - yes.

It is the same reason why I have been so tolerant of her - she is a nice girl overall. But she has some dutty ways as my auntie would say


The CEO owns the company as well and he pretty much runs out of the room when she is around. The other owner only comes out West once a yr and is at least 100 years old - so if homegirl is rooksing him, all I can say is I hope she keeps her eyes close when she does it


<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> Sorry to hear you are going through this. I hope some of my advice will be of use. </div></div>


Anyway, thanks for the input. You guys have given me stuff to think about because this has been the most exasperating siutation I have ever been in work-wise.

[Nylah]

Re: Calling HR People

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> And you will be blamed. Remember, muffins, Godiva chocolate, walks around the block, work out at the gym, lunch time prayer meeting, Bible conference.....whatever it takes so that you don't loose your cool. What I did after a while was to keep some Jamaican videos and beautiful videos with music and scenery in my desk. When people got to me, mi would take off fi a confernce room fi wuk and play de video dem. If you have your own office, bring in a portable TV video player <span style="font-weight: bold">and close the door as often as you have to so you don't lick ar dung.</span></div></div>