Calling HR People

**Gen** · 04-14-2009, 10:45 AM

Re: Calling HR People

umm couple questions nylah

1. is that your company

2. if not, was she working there before you began?

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Nylah</div><div class="ubbcode-body">

so I finally run my mouth and unno have nuttin to say

<span style="font-style: italic">
Dear moderator, please to lock dis thread</span> </div></div>

**Nylah** · 04-14-2009, 12:39 PM

Re: Calling HR People

I feel better now

Geneva - no it isnt my company. I am contracted to work as the Controller. With that being said, this woman reports to be and I am responsible for her position as it were.

Yes, she has been working there long before me, hence why dealing with her is a bit frustrating. At this stage of the game, she should not need so much guidance workwise and that is when I realize it is a personality issue more than anything. The previous Controller outlined the same personnel issues with this woman as well. But this is just the tip of the iceberg....when she is ready she can be very manipulative...but it always backfires on her

She will try to "pit" the CEO and me against each other in some strange ways.....But his personality and management style is so simliar to mine (hence we get along famously ) that S only serves to make him retreat from the whole mess and anger me who is then left to deal with her ways....

I am heading there today, so I'll read the other comments and report from the Front

**seemiyah** · 04-14-2009, 12:53 PM

Re: Calling HR People

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Nylah</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
So back to Miss S

I told her, "S, all of the possible phrases you have presented are well-worded. I trust you in your choice, so go ahead and choose the wording that you feel is best and place the order with the sign company"

This was fair right? I tried to encourage her, should her that I trusted her judgement instead of showing that I could careless what the damn sign says........ Nonetheless she comes back my office another 5 times again to discuss.

I try not to be short with her but eventually this happens I tell her "look, I am BUSY, I have DEADLINES to meet, please deal with this on your own." ~heavy sigh~

</div></div>

Well its obvious she CAN'T make the decision so instead of having her come to you 6 times the second she come you say "Yes that one is fine, put it up" cause you know she was going to come ask you if that mean she can put it up now.

**Nylah** · 04-14-2009, 01:12 PM

Re: Calling HR People

a) I did the second time around She will come in with a different phrasology and ask if this is better than the last...you see me?

b) Since I am not physically in the office more than so, she has to be capable of making decisions with so much input. That is why I wanted have advice from others on how to "empower" someone like her. She is capable of making the decision, she chooses NOT do so because she needs attention. If she was incapable, then it would be easier to deal with IMO.

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: seemiyah</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Nylah</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
So back to Miss S

I told her, "S, all of the possible phrases you have presented are well-worded. I trust you in your choice, so go ahead and choose the wording that you feel is best and place the order with the sign company"

This was fair right? I tried to encourage her, should her that I trusted her judgement instead of showing that I could careless what the damn sign says........ Nonetheless she comes back my office another 5 times again to discuss.

I try not to be short with her but eventually this happens I tell her "look, I am BUSY, I have DEADLINES to meet, please deal with this on your own." ~heavy sigh~

</div></div>

Well its obvious she CAN'T make the decision so instead of having her come to you 6 times the second she come you say "Yes that one is fine, put it up" cause you know she was going to come ask you if that mean she can put it up now. </div></div>

**Nylah** · 04-14-2009, 01:25 PM

Re: Calling HR People

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: sukuna</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Making decisions is obviously not her strong point. The job description is good but as soon as there is some variation she seems to be lost. Just the type that likes being told every single thing.

Yep, I find that this is the same type of person that cannot read body language and needs to be told how you feel. So to be honest about how you feel is the way with her. She wouldnt take it personal

<span style="font-weight: bold">If a task isnt outlined with all clues, do not give the job to her</span> </div></div>

Very good point and one I started to do. But now I am finding I have too much to do. In terms of organizing contracts, etc. and those types of daily office chores, it bogs me down time wise. Not to mention, it is too expensive for the company to pay me to do those types of minor jobs.

Certain tasks should be in the hands of an office manager whose hourly rate is far less than mine.

I cant call her that because she isnt at that level. I have suggested that she get more training in the areas that I feel she is weak and hopefully this will help.

i dont know

I am not a micromanger and neither is the CEO. He leaves you to sort things out how you best feel acheives the end result. So we balance each other out well.

The nature of the business doesnt allow for alot of hand holding either and after 5 years S should be farther advanced in her skill set in order to continue in the position.

**rufian** · 04-14-2009, 01:40 PM

Re: Calling HR People

The only training that might help her is if she learns to do exactly what has to be done. If after 5yrs she hadn't been keeping up with the rhythm then that wont change.
So why had she been working in the company that long? It seems that it hasn't been that much of a problem or it is an ignored issue. The company will pay for this dearly one day though.
Such workers hamper growth.
But in the mean time I would say some form of knowledge management might help. That is get one in place or update the one that is there

**Nylah** · 04-14-2009, 01:50 PM

Re: Calling HR People

I only started with them last September and I do agree with you sukuna. I feel it does hamper them a great deal. But being the new kid on the block, I dont want to upset the apple cart too quickly. I will have more input in her performance review next fall, so I'd like to have a game plan in place to address the issue before then.

The nature of the company is management consultants, so there are a lot of cerberal types. In addition the office could run virtually if needed. Most of the consultants no longer physcially work from the office but instead from home or on the road.

I can do the bulk of my work remotely as well but do need to be present in the office at specific times of the month. If S was more an office manager type, she could help alleviate this even more but with the need to hand hold, I cannot.

i think why she has been there so long is because "they" like her - as much as S frustrates them. She very sweet but .....plus given the nature of the position I have figured out that they fear that anyone else doing it would require more money and would want more hours. S works 4 days a week for 6 hours.

my thing is, it isnt the position that is at issue but how S handles it. So, if I can have a concrete plan to address this in the future then I can perhaps have things change.

She is alone alot in the office, since the CEO/main consultant is on the road the majority of the time; and I am only in part-time. She gets clingy to whoever walks in the office first I will give her a few minutes of "face time" when I first get in so she will feel good about herself....but after that...leav eme alone so I can work!

I dont want to beat her up for being emotionally needed, I just need to find ways to address it more constructively.

**kia027** · 04-14-2009, 01:56 PM

Re: Calling HR People

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">ISSUE #2: The first thing the previous woman said about S is that she has NO ABILITY TO ASCERTAIN SOCIAL CUES tired Every blastid performance review, this issue has been brought up.

I mean ZERO

Things like:

1) signalling the end of the conversation by saying, "okay thank you", "great, it looks like you can take it from here", those kind of things.
2) turning around back to your task at hand and proceeding to work at your task
3) handing a file back to a person and saying something, like, "sounds good."
4) walking away after you have done any of the above.

this woman will continue to talk even as your back is towards her or you have now entered another room. S will be in the same room the original conversation began in.</div></div>

I hear what you mentioned above are classic signs of Asbergers (sp) Syndrome. They are clearly intelligent, do their job well but cant pick up social cues at all.

**Gen** · 04-14-2009, 02:10 PM

Re: Calling HR People

she sound like the type to bring in a shotgun and

i would suggest hire smaddy else fi do har position but see above

**kia027** · 04-14-2009, 02:15 PM

Re: Calling HR People

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Gen</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> she sound like the type to bring in a shotgun and

i would suggest hire smaddy else fi do har position but see above </div></div>

Aspbergers is a high functioning type of Autism.. dem not violent at all. My friend bredda have it and her son has it to a degree. They had to have special training to learn social cues

**Nylah** · 04-14-2009, 02:17 PM

Re: Calling HR People

hmmmmmmm

I have to think on this cause you just never know.

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Kia</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">ISSUE #2: The first thing the previous woman said about S is that she has NO ABILITY TO ASCERTAIN SOCIAL CUES tired Every blastid performance review, this issue has been brought up.

I mean ZERO

Things like:

1) signalling the end of the conversation by saying, "okay thank you", "great, it looks like you can take it from here", those kind of things.
2) turning around back to your task at hand and proceeding to work at your task
3) handing a file back to a person and saying something, like, "sounds good."
4) walking away after you have done any of the above.

this woman will continue to talk even as your back is towards her or you have now entered another room. S will be in the same room the original conversation began in.</div></div>

I hear what you mentioned above are classic signs of Asbergers (sp) Syndrome. They are clearly intelligent, do their job well but cant pick up social cues at all.
</div></div>

**neutral** · 04-14-2009, 06:48 PM

Re: Calling HR People

<span style="font-weight: bold">
Now let me say S is very very good at her job. You give her a task, with detailed instructions, you dont have to re-check her work or worry that some portion isnt completed. Detailed oriented woman and very keen aboutdoing her job right. S has been in this position for atleast 5 years now, so nothing is new to her.</span>

Ok,from a man`s point of view S sounds very efficient to me,and from the above statement I wouldnt mind having someone like this working for me.
However, from what you have subsequently said about her it seems like S is also a perfectionist,and seems like someone who likes to get approval for whatever she does,her constant wanting reassurance for the sign for instance just indicates someone who hates failure,or disapproval from others.
I think S sounds very eccentric,or quirky,but you`ve already said she gets the job done,and very keen at doing her job right,in my opinion with 5 years experience you guys should be very used to the way S does things,and cut her a bit of slack,....I have a sneaky suspicion also that the men in the office are a bit more tolerant towards S than the women,and probably overlook her quirky way of getting things done.

**neutral** · 04-14-2009, 06:52 PM

Re: Calling HR People

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Kia</div><div class="ubbcode-body">

I hear what you mentioned above are classic signs of Asbergers (sp) Syndrome. They are clearly intelligent, do their job well but cant pick up social cues at all.
</div></div>

You could be spot on with your observation here,I have a young lady working for me who is very very good at whatever task is given to her,sometimes it takes her a few seconds for whatever you say to her to sink in,but then she goes into overdrive and is a very good worker,...she is autistic.

**Nylah** · 04-14-2009, 06:59 PM

Re: Calling HR People

Well this is why I am not quick to hang her Neutral. She is good at what she does and I will not take that away from her in the least.

As for the men, actually the reverse is true it is a very small office and like I mentioned CEO tries to avoid her at all costs

He is a very quiet man who puts his head down and works. So her constant chattering and need for assuarance makes him cringe. He then says to me, "please do something about it".

Problem is S has been there 5 years and I have only been there for 7 months.

But yet, she falls under my control as it were. I dont want to let her go because I am not sure what I could base it on. So I would rather find ways to get her to the level of office manager and have her work better with the group.

So, I can only cut her so much slack because when it means they are paying me to do basic office type stuff when she has no work to do then this isnt efficient.

I am only there part-time, so spending a great amount of time explaining what needs done means it is easier for me to do the work. Now, this just isnt me, this applies to the Consultants as well. They bypass her and do certain things that should go to her but because they dont want the whole heap of talk they dont - and all but one of them are men!

I have never met anyone so socially off as this woman is.

What I havent elaborated on is the manipulation that comes with her need for constant reassurance....Since she doesnt know how to articulate herself in regards to her needs or express her ideas, she will "play" ppl against each other.

i thought one of the other Consultants was going to strangle her the other day....I just kept out of it because quite frankly I as flabergasted at the time

**Tropicana** · 04-14-2009, 07:08 PM

Re: Calling HR People

Re Issue Number 1

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">It is on this small tasks that I get an endless stream of activity into my damn office asking for input.

Example: I requested a sign be made to be put on the office door because the public doesnt notice that it s a private access door to our office only. They will walk thru the office to gain access to the remainder of the building. This creates a security risk because of how the office is laid out.

Okay fine. S's command of the English language is perfectly good. However, instead of just thinking out a way to word the sign she came into my office at least 6 times, 6 times, 6 freaking times asking me which one sounds better....<span style="font-weight: bold">Now she came to me only after she asked the CEO first </span> and he clearly ran her out of his office due to exasperation. </div></div>

This is definitely passive aggressive behaviour...playing dumb, draggin her heels etc. The part in bold alarmed me. Her running to the CEO with stupid questions is her attempt to make YOU look bad as if you are not in control and giving her so little direction that she has no choice but to run to him. Not good. She is trying to make you look like the incompetent one.

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> I try not to be short with her but eventually this happens I tell her "look, I am BUSY, I have DEADLINES to meet, please deal with this on your own." </div></div>

See what I mean. Passive aggressive and provoking you until you blow up. Then, she run into the CEO's office and complain that you are mistreating her. She knows EXACTLY what she is doing. VERY dangerous chick. That's why me fraid a dem like puss. I would watch my back around her. She is setting you up. BIG TIME!!

Make sure that you give her instructions in writing and that you summarize and confirm verbal instructions via e-mail. Print off the insturctions and e-mails and keep them at home in a folder with her name. Keep a log at home, an incident report of her shenanigans. It may save your bacon one day.

Just came to this....seeit deh:

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">She will try to "pit" the CEO and me against each other in some strange ways..... </div></div>

Calling HR People

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