Tactful People Rope In

[ILP]

Re: Tactful People Rope In

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: MGee</div><div class="ubbcode-body">what is it about this woman u like ilpy? maybe she feels if she didn't give u things, and in a memorable way, there won't be any basis for ur friendship. clearly she values ur friendship a lot. </div></div>

MG she really is a nice person. like mi seh...can carry on a conversation. worldly. get mi sense of humor. she genuinly is a nice person. she was one ah di few person mi did chat to before she transfered to another school. wi still meet bout once a week fi various tings...lunch, shopping, nail place, movie ahn dem tings. i have told her before that the gifts not necessary (ahn certainly not dem breed ah gift and not everytime wi meet up) but it seem to fall on deaf ears.

Now I have seen other people use har fi har gift giving. Dem will mention tings infront of har solely fi get har to pick them up ahn give them. Ahn mi not talking cheap tings eidah. Dem will ask har fi pick up lunch with the sole purpose of getting har to pick up the tab...all dem kinna tings.

[Hush Darlin]

Re: Tactful People Rope In

mek sure you ready fe give up you new born....a joke yah

all u do is try u bess no mention nottin roun ar and you wot have to worry
jus tell ar sye u have too much all wen u noh have any

[evanovitch]

Re: Tactful People Rope In

u know ILP, she mite juss love to shop an not needing anyting fi harself juss pick up fi u...she mite be a good shopper who can get the bargains, so even doah dem is top notch she not paying di topnotch price......i know i do dat...r use to ...sometimes is juss the sharing ting fi no odda reason dan u can n u want to...but of course, she should respect ur wishes if u ask har not to...

a good chat wid har ovah a cup of tea should get it to har eventually....good luck...

[ILP]

Re: Tactful People Rope In

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: evanovitch</div><div class="ubbcode-body">is she alone...a mean,does she live alone, no kids etc...wat is the age difference...

do u do similar tings for her in ur own way on ur level?

a nice chat wid har should tie it up i would think...


is she always coming ovah WID said gifts n spending an inordinate amount of time chatting to di current Mr ILP? dat is anodda consideration

but if she juss giving u tings fi giving sake n is because she value u frenship, i would tink a heart to heart wid har should suffice...tell har dat if she really feel to give , she should switch to govament bonds for di soon to be baby ILP </div></div>

she single. no kids. mi is 8 years older than she. she has sent tings to di current mr ilp as well...the last was a NFL replica jersey, which cost ova $200. Im almost cuss har fi tek it back ahn she bawl fi days how she seh har feelings did hurt.

but like mi seh..is not mi one she extravagant with. i dont like it for me ahn mi cyan tell har wah fi do wid oddah people. mi would juss like har fi tone it down wid me.

[Bink - the Only]

Re: Tactful People Rope In

How about telling her that, while you appreciate her generosity, you need her to stop because it makes YOU uncomfortable?

[evanovitch]

Re: Tactful People Rope In

set har up wid a nice guy dat u n di mista know....it would be a bonus if him is like har...sometimes is not the giving as much as it is being thought of by the people u gi u...if she meet smaddy like har, it wi balance har...r if she find more fulfilling tings to do she wi stop wid di shopping...

but dont lissen to me...i have taken up knitting agin to fill di void.....

advise har to tek up personal shopping fi people...
mi gawn ...good luck...bt

[twiney]

Re: Tactful People Rope In

ILP I dont think she is necessarily trying to buy friendship she is a naturally kind and nice smaddy wehlike fi share...help her find a charity to work with....

[Peasie]

Re: Tactful People Rope In

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: bink</div><div class="ubbcode-body">How about telling her that, while you appreciate her generosity, you need her to stop because it makes YOU uncomfortable? </div></div>
on Bink's suggestion.

Also, I'm a little worried about her showing up at your house to leave an unexpected package of goodies in response to a simple remark you made about cookies.

She seems to want you (or people in general) to really like her. Poor thing.

[evanovitch]

Re: Tactful People Rope In

kinda moot given dat ILP alreddy seh she like di smaddy dont ...heh heh

[Derek]

Re: Tactful People Rope In

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Stormmey1</div><div class="ubbcode-body">she sounds like a really lonely person. </div></div>

That's what I was thinking - trying too hard to gain friends.
But I have no advice.


Anyway Skelly, give her my e-mail address - maybe suppm can gwaan.

(Knowing my luck she'll turn up with 10 kilos of sausages!)

[nattydreadgirl]

Re: Tactful People Rope In

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: ILP_N_Belly</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><span style="font-weight: bold">i guess is di fact daht she nu seem to feel comfortable wid harself. like she haffi give people tings as a way fi dem keep har as a friend.</span>

like mi seh...mi can see a lunch/dinner every now ahn den. mi can see ah birthday or special occassion. but someting not right man...daht every striking time you see har she have tings fi gi you. ahn mi not talking a candy. is tings weh cost nuff money or tek time fi mek. she all send tings wid oddah people fi gi you when she nu tink she gwine see you.

anyhow... </div></div>

I tend to agree with this. She seems to be going to the extreme in giving. I would be uncomfortable with the giving all the time. Just tell her once again that you appreciate the thought but it makes <span style="font-weight: bold">you</span> uncomfortable. If she keeps it up I would start to turn down the gifts.

[FrenchTickla]

Re: Tactful People Rope In

find her a charity! win-win situation dat!

[Gen]

Re: Tactful People Rope In

nothing wrong wid being a kind giving person


BUT something seem kinda off with her, unless she rich like oprah, this kinda gone beyond excessive

[Fyah]

Re: Tactful People Rope In

There are people who are just KIND by nature and isn't looking for anything in return.

Some people give wholeheartedly because they feel blessed and see nothing wrong with giving their last &quot;dumpling&quot; (i.e. shirt off their back) to the people they like or care about.

Some people are so appreciative of true friendship, that they see nothing wrong with sharing even when the recipient does not feel worthy...they are giving from their heart.

If you feel uncomfortable with receiving the gifts, just simply say so. Now the trick is that you will need to refuse her gifts regardless of the occasion or the worth.

A gift is a gift and should not only be accepted when you find comfort in receiving it.

I find that the problem with gift giving usually lies with the recipient and not the giver.

[twiney]

Re: Tactful People Rope In

If you are giving to someone that is not in need all the time so then you have a problem and you need help ... As I said before she need fi find a charity fi give to and it will make everybody happy.