People who "put on"

[Wendy]

Re: People who "put on"

Maybe beause I dont like pretentious people and mi kina tolerate it lang enuff. People can be pretentious enuff to even try fi put yuh down or mek yuh feel substandard to dem wid dem condescending ways She has gotten to that level. Yes I could drop her - but I dont see that necessary other than to tell her <span style="font-weight: bold">STOP IT</span> already!

If I am going to hang around you then be yourself like everybady else is. Noh baddy naah run rat race wid har. All a wi a come fram humble begginings .. a fram fuss yr callege wi know each other an a struggle come up so the &quot;one up&quot; business noh necessary.

[Fyah]

Re: People who &quot;put on&quot;

I too thought your reaction to her nonsense was a bit over the top.

Many people are &quot;One Up&quot; folks and only deserve to be ignored.

You seemed to have gained a certain level of satisfaction from the embarrassment. Did you? If so, why? Is there something about her &quot;spirit&quot; that you <span style="text-decoration: underline">secretly </span>admire? Afterall, you've been friends for many years so there must be something about her that you like.

I know someone with similar characteristics you've described and to be honest, I admire her spirit, her imagination and her ability to embellish without batting an eye. I think it takes that level of creativity to make movies and write books. In other words, she freely thinks above and beyond the mark. I've encouraged her to start a blog and guess what, she has widened her audience and is capitalizing from it.

I just laugh and congratulate her on her abilities, but would never think of putting out her fire. It just isn't that serious to me.

[Wendy]

Re: People who &quot;put on&quot;

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">You seemed to have gained a certain level of satisfaction from the embarrassment. Did you? If so, why? Is there something about her &quot;spirit&quot; that you secretly admire? Afterall, you've been friends for many years so there must be something about her that you like.

</div></div>

SP - I am going to assume you didn't read all of what I said. So let me repeat. I said I felt bad for her especially since everyone was laughing and it was clear the laughter was because they too had a hunch she was up to her usual lying and was glad she got called out.

That being said, if you looking for me to type that I am sorry for calling her out on that particular incident I am not going to. It was one of those moments where she was trying to claim fame for something she had not experienced. It would not have made her a lesser human being for saying she had no idea of what I was talking about. Infact a true freind would have said - <span style="font-style: italic">Oh Yeah?? ..maybe we should all go there and try it out someday.</span> Dats all she needed to say and no harm done. But like I have alluded to it is her character NOT to be so humble (it woulda kill har)...so your question bout secretly admirirng dat quality made me . No sah... dat dishonest &quot;spirit&quot; as you call it is why mi reacted that way that evening.

And yes her &quot;spirit&quot; has damaged the relationship among us all....not just me. Things we would do every year slowly get cut back or extinguished. We were suppose to do an annual &quot;go out of town&quot; event that someone suggested and the first one we did she went on wid har usual show aff antics that we decided not to do it again. Shi still a wanda why wi cancel it

[DearK]

Re: People who &quot;put on&quot;

so in all your 15 years, none of you have discussed or challenged this destructive 'spirit' with her, that is until you reached this breaking point?

[Wendy]

Re: People who &quot;put on&quot;

If you ask her something about what you already know is a lie (trying to get to the truth) ..she adds more lies to cover up the original lie. Quite a story teller. So we were are like - what's the point. She cannot help herself.

The dead give away is that she says these things when she there is no one around to that can discredit her (like her husband for exmaple). I have to admit there are some in the group that buy the hogwash.. some of us don't.

[LiteBlonde]

Re: People who &quot;put on&quot;




It sure does take all kinds to make up our wee wonderful world.

[Yvonne N.]

Re: People who &quot;put on&quot;

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Wendy</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><span style="font-weight: bold">Maybe beause I dont like pretentious people and mi kina tolerate it lang enuff</span>. People can be pretentious enuff to even try fi put yuh down or mek yuh feel substandard to dem wid dem condescending ways She has gotten to that level. Yes I could drop her - but I dont see that necessary other than to tell her <span style="font-weight: bold">STOP IT</span> already!

If I am going to hang around you then be yourself like everybady else is. Noh baddy naah run rat race wid har. All a wi a come fram humble begginings .. a fram fuss yr callege wi know each other an a struggle come up so the &quot;one up&quot; business noh necessary. </div></div>

Wendy, mi did tink yu have more sense dan dis...what did she tolerate in you over the years?

C'mon man, you cyan be so unkind...it didn't even seem like your style...anyway...rate yu still fi yu sense of humour...

[dearjohn]

Re: People who &quot;put on&quot;

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: MGee</div><div class="ubbcode-body">...is not like pretentiousness is a harmful quality like gossip or backstabbing.

i kinna see with peasie on this one. </div></div>

Yes it can be.

Why are we dressing up the behavior with fancy words?

Put-Ons, pretentious, exaggerate, embellish...etc.

All the pretty 50 dollar words can not change the fact that these are just dressing for the word liar. No matter how you rephrase it, the fact of the matter is lying is lying, and when it become pathological, as is in this case, it can become dangerous. I know from more than one personal experience, the person doing the one-up, or put-on will also lie on others, if it means getting their point across, or to be use as a skillful tool to prove their point.

[mountaingal]

Re: People who &quot;put on&quot;



how does someone lying about the deck dem build have a negative impact on my life? especially when me know dem already have a propensity fi exaggeration and tekking dem words with a grain of salt? and especially that even with this tendency i've managed to maintain a friendship of 15years with this person without any incident (except the annoyance them pretentiousness cause me?)

[Wendy]

Re: People who &quot;put on&quot;

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: DearJohn</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: MGee</div><div class="ubbcode-body">...is not like pretentiousness is a harmful quality like gossip or backstabbing.

i kinna see with peasie on this one. </div></div>

Yes it can be.

Why are we dressing up the behavior with fancy words?

Put-Ons, pretentious, exaggerate, embellish...etc.

All the pretty 50 dollar words can not change the fact that these are just dressing for the word liar. No matter how you rephrase it, the fact of the matter is lying is lying, and when it become pathological, is in this case, it can become dangerous. I know from more than one personal experience, the<span style="font-weight: bold"> person doing the one-up, or put-on will also lie on others, if it means getting their point across, or use it as a tool to prove their point</span>. </div></div>

To that point, one day I was even disturbed when she told me PERSONAL info about another one of our close friend that I know she discussed in confidence with her. At that moment all I could say was - thank yuh Jesas mi is nat di type to divuldge mi business to NObaddy! Same soh shi woulda have it outta street. What she told me was a clear sign that she was a tad bit envious of the other friend's earnings. I changed the subject so as to prevent her from labrishing further. I struggled whether to warn that girl to stop telling her personal things but I left it alone and decided just to worry bout myself and get in the middle of anything.

I guess she doesn't understand the outrageousness of these &quot;petty&quot; lies. You ask yourself why? What is this all about?

If you look at that simple scenario above, there was no need to play that &quot;oneup&quot; game. And for the record - she has some good qualities. I just wish she would stop the lying. It has gotten too outrageous now man.

[Wendy]

Re: People who &quot;put on&quot;

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: MGee</div><div class="ubbcode-body">

how does someone lying about the deck dem build have a negative impact on my life? especially when me know dem already have a propensity fi exaggeration and tekking dem words with a grain of salt? and especially that even with this tendency i've managed to maintain a friendship of 15years with this person without any incident (except the annoyance them pretentiousness cause me?)


</div></div>

LOL ..dont mean to laugh but yuh will neva know til yuh in a room wid har.

My mother came to visit from JA one year and All my Mom knows about my friends are their first and last name. I took her to a BBQ which she attended and when we came back home my Mom gave me an earful of what she told her (about herself) and went as far and told me not to trust her and dat her &quot;spirit&quot; noh tek har. In one meeting! Now that is scary. She can make people uncomfortable MG. One a dose gat to be there situation. Fi real. I cyan tell how much time mi havi walk away from beside her ..It is painful! Its only a pity we are such a big group wid nuff articals and mi cyan sacrifice hanging wid dem all because of shi one.


Edited to add:
Mi like fi jus goh a wan place an juky jam widout di hole heapa wanne bee canvasation so in that case it affects me an mi vibes when mi deh roun har. Cyan explain it any odda way

[dearjohn]

Re: People who &quot;put on&quot;

People like that, like to be the center of attention. In order to achieve that goal, they have no problem stretching the truth. It may not be today, but potentially, in order to maintain that spotlight they could distort the facts while telling something about you, even add to it to make the story sound more exciting.

I have been in rooms where I have seen it happen, and knew the original details of what really happened. So much so, that you may even start to question yourself. If maybe you dozed off when things occurred, or were you even in the same place?

[mountaingal]

Re: People who &quot;put on&quot;

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Wendy</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
LOL ..dont mean to laugh but yuh will neva know til yuh in a room wid har.

My mother came to visit from JA one year and All my Mom knows about my friends are their first and last name. I took her to a BBQ which she attended and when we came back home my Mom gave me an earful of what she told her (about herself) and went as far and told me not to trust her and dat her &quot;spirit&quot; noh tek har. In one meeting! Now that is scary. She can make people uncomfortable MG. One a dose gat to be there situation. Fi real. I cyan tell how much time mi havi walk away from beside her ..It is painful! Its only a pity we are such a big group wid nuff articals and mi cyan sacrifice hanging wid dem all because of shi one.


Edited to add:
Mi like fi jus goh a wan place an juky jam widout di hole heapa wanne bee canvasation so in that case it affects me an mi vibes when mi deh roun har. Cyan explain it any odda way </div></div>

so why nobaddy neva seh nottn to har all dis time? a mean, if she have ar ways and a gwaan wid dem and nobaddy no seh kem, den she no muss ting oonu is okay wid har?

is the way u did it wendy i think that seemed a little unkind, u know, just kinna blow up on har in front a ppl and humiliate har. and she was supposed to be ur friend.

[Wendy]

Re: People who &quot;put on&quot;

I forgot who said it up top ..but they said something to the fact that those people yuh &quot;ignore&quot;. And that is waht we did ...ignore.

Well I can repect your opinion about &quot;the way&quot; I did it..But in all honesty I was a little peed because it was blatant unncessary lie for a simple thing like that. If shi thinks twice about pulling that crap again then I did her some good.

You see one side of this friendship - I see BOTH sides. As MY friend she should RESPECT our frieship by being honest and unpretentious and stop acting like anybady is substandard to her. Maybe you don't see it that way but I do. Sorry

[Wendy]

Re: People who &quot;put on&quot;

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: DearJohn</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><span style="font-weight: bold">People like that, like to be the center of attention</span>. In order to achieve that goal, they have no problem stretching the truth. It may not be today, but potentially, in order to maintain that spotlight they could distort the facts while telling something about you, even add to it to make the story sound more exciting.

I have been in rooms where I have seen it happen, and knew the original details of what really happened. So much so, that you may even start to question yourself. If maybe you dozed off when things occurred, or were you even in the same place? </div></div>


I felt bad for this young couple who was invited to a house party. They had just come off their honeymoon and one girl ask them &quot;so how was the Dominica Republic?&quot; Knowing that is where they went.

They must have said 2 sentences and she inserted herself by saying she visited Dominica Republic and what she didn't like and wish she had gone to St Martins instead although it would be more espensive and yaadi yaah..These are people who we were meeting for the first time. Man was I embarrased for her and like - her she goes again Stole di people dem moment and made it appear where they went was cheap cause shi had to insert dat it was a &quot;cheap vacation&quot;. I dont think we got to hear about <span style="text-decoration: underline">their </span>honeymoon

It's bad ..really bad...