Should I move out...now

[Fyah]

Re: Should I move out...now

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Queen_of_d_A</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: _____</div><div class="ubbcode-body">so where would you suggest she go? with the children at that? </div></div>

the same place millions of responsible mothers who are smart enough to realise that raising a child in a volatile atmosphere is doing damage to the child which is in sharp contrast to the love they claim they have for their kids.

I'm sorry but women who sstay for the kids dont give a rats behidn abt the kids and are only there for their selfish reasons, either the need to hold on to the man or their own complacency.

No and I mean NO atmosphere where there is any and I mean ANY kind of disrespect occurs or where adults cannot and I mean CANNOT communicate without raising their voices slamming doors or which leaves one party unhappy isn't doing any justice to those kids.

I am sure there are other avenues, anyone can lose their jobs at any time so what sense does that make.

he works off teh books? that's more than easy to prove to a judge, subpoena bank statements of him andhis employer and if he doesn't comply call the damn irs if he's locked up for tax evasion what is she losing, she wasn't gonna get money anyway.

I detest women using &quot;the kids &quot; and their &quot;love&quot; for their kids as a crutch to remain with a man she <span style="text-decoration: line-through">can't</span> <span style="font-weight: bold">wont</span> leave.

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There is something that some of us possess that money just cannot buy. That something clearly separates the wheat from the chaff!

[julie*mango]

Re: Should I move out...now

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: SoulPurpose</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: _____</div><div class="ubbcode-body">so where would you suggest she go? with the children at that? </div></div>

Would you suggest that she stay with an abusive partner for the sake of the children?
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<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: _____</div><div class="ubbcode-body">but no one is telling her to stay with him permanently...</div></div>

[julie*mango]

Re: Should I move out...now

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Gen</div><div class="ubbcode-body">whatevah she decide to do (and no one here was telling her to stay with him permanently) good luck to her </div></div>

[LusciousJohnson]

Re: Should I move out...now

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Queen_of_d_A</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: FancyPants</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: _____</div><div class="ubbcode-body">@ DotCom..where is she going to go with no job/money/help???? Uproot the children and live in a shelter????

As long as there is no physical abuse I think she should get all her ducks in a row FIRST then move out..

ETA: As Wendy said...only you know your situation so do what you feel is best for you AND your kids </div></div>

i agree Skells. if the man starts physical abuse symmone then i say RUN to the shelter as quick as u can. until then try to get your things together as quickly as u can so u can be self sufficient and mostly HAPPY!

good luck </div></div>

strange i find emotional scars almost never heal but physical ones do. So tell me u think it's ok to stay just cause him nah buss har buttttt wow interesting </div></div>

no i didnt say its okay just because there is no physical abuse. it is NOT okay that he verbally abuses her. i said if there IS/WAS physical abuse then get out immediately. But if there isnt, then my suggestion was to stay until she can get herself together. That would be the easiest thing for her financially and since she wants the kids to be in a more stable environment. From what SHE posted, he is cheating on her and he is talking bad to the kids about her and SHE said the kids &quot;adore him&quot; so to me that means that he isnt being verbally abusive to them. Yes it is still terribly wrong for the man to say bad things to the kids about their mother...i'm just saying the kids are not being verbally abused and NO ONE is being physically abused so the situation can be tolerated a little longer until she moves out.

SO...my main focus would be about the kids and not about myself. And SHE said her focus for the kids is to get them into a more stable environment. She didnt say a SAFER environment like they are in danger or something.
So if i could hurry up and get my stuff together so i can be able to take care of my kids and get them in a better environment and NOT HAVE TO go to a shelter then that is what i would do. going to a shelter is SAFER when there is danger but it is definitely not MORE STABLE which is what SHE said she is looking for. So if the woman herself is not concerned that the kids safety is in danger and she herself doesnt mind staying there until she gets it together then I THINK thats what she should do.

I was basically saying if there was physical abuse then go and go immediately because THAT kinda situation is NOT what kids should be around AT ALL. But as long as the situation is not unbearable and the kids are safe, then do what she needs to do to make it better for all of them. Plus the kids are 2 and 5...whatever he is saying to them may not stick with them. especially the 2 yr old. And they are so young that is she hurries up and does what she needs to move out, they might not remember the bad things he said at all. and if the older one does remember then she can explain to her that he was not right and saying those things about her and the child will grow up eventually and learn for herself that her mother is not whatever he was tryna make her out to be AND that HE is actually not nice for saying those things period.

[LusciousJohnson]

Re: Should I move out...now

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: _____</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Gen</div><div class="ubbcode-body">whatevah she decide to do (and no one here was telling her to stay with him permanently) good luck to her </div></div> </div></div>

[Fyah]

Re: Should I move out...now

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: _____</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: SoulPurpose</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: _____</div><div class="ubbcode-body">so where would you suggest she go? with the children at that? </div></div>

Would you suggest that she stay with an abusive partner for the sake of the children?
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<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: _____</div><div class="ubbcode-body">but no one is telling her to stay with him permanently...</div></div> </div></div>

Would you suggest that she stay with an abusive partner TEMPORARILY for the sake of the children?

[Wendy]

Re: Should I move out...now

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: _____</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><span style="color: #FF0000">but no one is telling her to stay with him permanently</span>...

she and she alone can weigh the value of staying another day with the emotional instability versus living in uncertainty..


until then it is not helpful to say yea nor nay...<span style="color: #CC0000">especially given the fact that we do not know the full details of what is taking place and <span style="text-decoration: underline">especially </span>when one has not walked in the same shoes.</span>.. </div></div>

<span style="font-weight: bold">AMEN!!! </span> A lot of people can give emotional advise or advise from their own personal experience(s) but it is still her decision to make based on <span style="text-decoration: underline">her </span>circumstance.

I am not going to take anything away from what anyone has said in this thread (for or against staying).. so to DearK's point she has a lot of good advise to chose from and she and only she can weigh her situation and know what's best for her from this point foward.

[Fyah]

Re: Should I move out...now

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Wendilina</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: _____</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><span style="color: #FF0000">but no one is telling her to stay with him permanently</span>...

she and she alone can weigh the value of staying another day with the emotional instability versus living in uncertainty..


until then it is not helpful to say yea nor nay...<span style="color: #CC0000">especially given the fact that we do not know the full details of what is taking place and <span style="text-decoration: underline">especially </span>when one has not walked in the same shoes.</span>.. </div></div>

<span style="font-weight: bold">AMEN!!! </span> A lot of people can give emotional advise or advise from their own personal experience(s) but it is still her decision to make based on <span style="text-decoration: underline">her </span>circumstance.

I am not going to take anything away from what anyone has said in this thread (for or against staying).. so to DearK's point she has a lot of good advise to chose from and <span style="font-weight: bold">she and only she can weigh her situation and know what's best for her from this point foward.</span>
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Well, obviously. Does that mean this tread is now closed?

I am not sure why the obvious had to be reiterated.