please understand that i work and have worked full time since the 70's <span style="font-style: italic">and will probably work until i draw my last breath </span>
I think it was Goldilocks that also brought up this "answer to" aspect of this set up. That is the other reason why I would rather maintain my independence.
Granted independence doesn't necessarily mean you and the hubby cant communicate and share in the finances. Quite the opposite, it is just a matter of personal security – juuuuusssst incase
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yep i understand the just in case - i have used it at least 3 times - for better or for worse and although i am doing "fine" the couples i know that have stayed together and worked together - are doing better than me - even if the wife never worked a day in her life
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: SueSumba</div><div class="ubbcode-body">"Michael Jordan's divorce has still not been finalised but it is expected to be one of the most costly celebrity divorces in history. The former basketball star is getting divorced from his wife, Juanita Vanoy. The pair have been married for just under 18 years. It was during this time the Michael Jordan earned most of his fortune from playing basketball and lucrative endorsement contracts. <span style="font-weight: bold">Juanita Vanoy, who works as a Chicago bank office </span>filed for divorce in 2006. It is possible that Vanoy will be entitled to half of the fortune Michael Jordan earning during their marriage. This means that she could walk away from the marriage with around $150 million dollars."
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Seveen</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: SueSumba</div><div class="ubbcode-body">"Michael Jordan's divorce has still not been finalised but it is expected to be one of the most costly celebrity divorces in history. The former basketball star is getting divorced from his wife, Juanita Vanoy. The pair have been married for just under 18 years. It was during this time the Michael Jordan earned most of his fortune from playing basketball and lucrative endorsement contracts. <span style="font-weight: bold">Juanita Vanoy, who works as a Chicago bank office </span>filed for divorce in 2006. It is possible that Vanoy will be entitled to half of the fortune Michael Jordan earning during their marriage. This means that she could walk away from the marriage with around $150 million dollars."
For some people when the kids come it is cheaper to have a spouse at home because of the costs of childcare, housekeeping, lawn service, etc compared to the income after taxes that the spouse would have earned working outside the home.
What some women have done is that they have changed careers as their children got older in order for them to work when their children are at school. Many have become teachers </div></div>
I have client's with SAH wives and the all have access to hubbie's accounts and know what comes in on a monthly basis and what goes out regardless of which of them actually pays the bills. Whether I worked or not, I would have knowledge about out joint finances, so I dont get this part about not having any clue where money is going or not going.
I kinda have little sympathy for those who choose to not get involved in their marital finances. You do it for your own protection. Even if homeboy dies instead of leaving you, you still need to know where things are and how to take care of stuff.
I have no problem with being a stay at home wife but I would know exactly where every penny is going.
plus all the smart couples I see have their own discretionary accounts. They contribute to it from the joint accounts but only they have access to it and gives them the freedom to do whatever they wany with it and not have to do the "honey, is it okay if I buy this?" dance
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Gen</div><div class="ubbcode-body">well if she decide seh big old hawsback smaddy like herself, want to stay home( and she nuh have chick nor child fi look after) and she allow him to pay all the bills himself, hence no money nuh come choo her hands, then she nuh have much sense
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Wendilina</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Gen</div><div class="ubbcode-body">if the ooman has no children etc, and still want stay home a day time more power to her, just hope she put likkle money inna har bank account fi when tings get hectic </div></div>
You are assuming she gets any money at all and assuming she gets to have her own "account"
I am playing devil's advocate here... </div></div> </div></div>
I'm surprised that people would balk at being stay at home moms/wives! This is very surprising to me. Personally if we could afford it, I'd be at home living like a retiree.
I see nothing wrong with finding my place in the world without the constraints of the rat race. Who said that the 9-5 'work' is what we're meant to do?
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Dear K</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I'm surprised that people would balk at being stay at home moms/wives! This is very surprising to me. Personally if we could afford it, I'd be at home living like a retiree.
I<span style="font-weight: bold"> see nothing wrong with finding my place in the world without the constraints of the rat race. Who said that the 9-5 'work' is what we're meant to do?</span> </div></div>
I took a year off working when I was younger because I received a hefty serverance package. I thought I would be bored within a week and start job hunting....just the opposite. I found a MILLION things to do and enjoyed myself thoroughly and cried my eyes out when my year was up
But either way, I would have intricate knowlede of our family;;s finances if I stayed home. I would adjust my spending habits accordingly too.
One doesnt nullify the other so I have no pity for those who put themselves in that position. That is just me.
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> Whether I worked or not, I would have knowledge about out joint finances, so I dont get this part about not having any clue where money is going or not going.
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Well that's what made my eye brow raise up when watching that story. The woman had NO clue! She had no "account" of her own .. pretty much was just taking care of the kids and "minding her own business". All she knew was where her husband worked and how much he made and that was it (except shi neva realize sey im did a rab banks fi suppliment the income). So though you maybe smart enough to know what's coming in and out ..apparently Nylah a noh soh all SAH households run.
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Dear K</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I'm surprised that people would balk at being stay at home moms/wives! This is very surprising to me. Personally if we could afford it, I'd be at home living like a retiree.
I see nothing wrong with finding my place in the world without the constraints of the rat race. Who said that the 9-5 'work' is what we're meant to do? </div></div>
Brings up another question ..If the wife was making mucho dallas..would the woman offer the husband to be a stay at home dad and live off her(kids or no kids) Something tells me - slight chance. But that is just a hunch
I don't mind working (ability to afford staying home and all)...maybe because mi a fend fi miself fram soh young and it ina mi blood
ETA: Working doesn't ALWAYS constitute a 9-5 and being caught up in a "rat race"
I am a big meany on the subject of finances, so I want to say serve her right in some ways. Being in sync with finances is one of my top 5 non-negiotables
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Wendilina</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Dear K</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I'm surprised that people would balk at being stay at home moms/wives! This is very surprising to me. Personally if we could afford it, I'd be at home living like a retiree.
I see nothing wrong with finding my place in the world without the constraints of the rat race. Who said that the 9-5 'work' is what we're meant to do? </div></div>
<span style="font-weight: bold">Brings up another question ..If the wife was making mucho dallas..would the woman offer the husband to be a stay at home dad and live off her(kids or no kids) Something tells me - slight chance. But that is just a hunch </span>
I don't mind working (ability to afford staying home and all)...maybe because mi a fend fi miself fram soh young and it ina mi blood
ETA: Working doesn't ALWAYS constitute a 9-5 and being caught up in a "rat race" </div></div>
The above bolded I would do in a heart beat, as I know he would be the better parent to be a SAHD if/when kids come.
alls i know is i cut short my second maternity leave caw mi was going mental at home alone wid two pickney a daytime. this stay at home bizness not for everybody.
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Wendilina</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Dear K</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I'm surprised that people would balk at being stay at home moms/wives! This is very surprising to me. Personally if we could afford it, I'd be at home living like a retiree.
I see nothing wrong with finding my place in the world without the constraints of the rat race. Who said that the 9-5 'work' is what we're meant to do? </div></div>
Brings up another question ..If the wife was making mucho dallas..would the woman offer the husband to be a stay at home dad and live off her(kids or no kids) Something tells me - slight chance. But that is just a hunch
I don't mind working (ability to afford staying home and all)...maybe because mi a fend fi miself fram soh young and it ina mi blood
ETA: Working doesn't ALWAYS constitute a 9-5 and being caught up in a "rat race" </div></div>
I know two couples who are doing just that.
Couple #1 husband hurt himself pon de job and neva go back. Wife works in the city, he is mrMom wid the kids and school & ting
Couple #2 husband did his stint on Wall street, made his millions (I am guessing). He is 'retired' stays home with the 5 and 8 yr old and wife works as a teacher. He does the mrMom thing
Couple #3 dem did plan seh every 5 yrs they would take turns staying home but the wife was sick for 2 weeks and the husband saw all the work she did and decided he would work harder on his career.
re- the financial thing- I do not know of any SAHM who does not manage the finances/investments. For the wives of the husbands who have businesses (eg the construction industry, it is the wives who are managing the day to day runnings of the business - scheduling the husband to be where & when ) so mi sure seh they have a very good indication of where the money is
If you don't fight for what you deserve, you deserve what you get.
We are > Fossil Fuels --- Bill McKibben 350.org
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: MGee</div><div class="ubbcode-body">alls i know is i cut short my second maternity leave caw mi was going mental at home alone wid two pickney a daytime. this stay at home bizness not for everybody.
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Di way how yuh put dis mek mi BOAL.
Seriously ... mi know it is nat fi mi .. Kudos to who can manige it
Well Good evening all .. Mi ago lef di 9 to 5 now ..duty calls
<span style="font-style: italic">aldowe mi neva do a lick a wok tidey ...It was as if I was staying at home</span>
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The woman had NO clue! She had no "account" of her own .. pretty much was just taking care of the kids and "minding her own business". All she knew was where her husband worked and how much he made and that was it (except shi neva realize sey im did a rab banks fi suppliment the income). So though you maybe smart enough to know what's coming in and out ..apparently Nylah a noh soh all SAH households run. 
Something tells me - slight chance. But that is just a hunch 
.. Mi ago lef di 9 to 5 now ..duty calls
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