Bad Marriage...

[Suesumba]

Re: Bad Marriage...

mi raw [img]/forums/images/graemlins/shocked.gif[/img] what if a Dr. James wife? [img]/forums/images/graemlins/shocked.gif[/img]

mi tek back everyting [img]/forums/images/graemlins/70361-embarassed.gif[/img]

[Gen]

Re: Bad Marriage...

like mi seh mi nevah read all a it until mi see smaddy point out the neighborhood's birds and trees...

that was sheer nonsense..and the baseball bat struck me as wayyyyyy yonder too

[img]/forums/images/graemlins/704555_dwl.gif[/img]

mi woulda ask bout BMI but like CB seh ...it's time for a softer, gentler JA.com [img]/forums/images/graemlins/70365-flirt.gif[/img]

[Nunya]

Re: Bad Marriage...

Yeah the only birds chirping merrily in the only trees in the whole of the US did make me go [img]/forums/images/graemlins/ooo.gif[/img] as well...

And mi did wanda if a de good Reverend Docta's wife... and I actually had to rub out mi question of whether she did get 'bag an turn' [img]/forums/images/graemlins/ooo.gif[/img]

[Night Nurse]

Re: Bad Marriage...

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So ok. At the risk of being labelled 'negative' [img]/forums/images/graemlins/ooo.gif[/img], let's dissect.

Sue, you go first, tell mi whichawt a de rivetting saga, yuh find too over the top... [img]/forums/images/graemlins/ooo.gif[/img]

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Mi wi run di risk. [img]/forums/images/graemlins/blush.gif[/img]

Di fallarin ring di loopsie-loops bell dem fi mi. [img]/forums/images/graemlins/blush.gif[/img]

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My husband was a liar and began to change the day I married him. He hated the fact I was helping so many people and fought against it at every avenue. He eventually stopped me from ministering because he was raising a lot of conflict, turmoil, strife, and division in my home.

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I left my wallet home because I was about 7 months pregnant

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I also got up and left the restaurant and him behind I got in my car and pulled off I then saw him leave the restaurant thru the rear view never paying the bill.

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I was upset and lost now and guess who I see walking down the street my husband and he begins to shout don’t leave me I have no way to get home. So, he gets in the SUV and begins to tell me the whole thing was my fault for asking him to take me to dinner.

[/ QUOTE ]

[urheiness]

Re: Bad Marriage...



Truth will always be stranger than fiction!

Nothing said of a negative nature surprises me- I'm use to that now. But..

I want to thank all those who gave constructive advice. I thought telling my story would be cathartic and helpful to me and it was because I see that I’m not alone. I also don’t have to keep it to myself. I usually formulate my own decisions and once I make up my mind it’s pretty much a done deal. After reading some of the advice, I realized it would be foolish not to take it. So, I really must thank everyone that took the time to respond with constructive advice. I don’t know if I helped anyone by telling what happened to me but I hope I did. I also hope and pray that no one else goes through what I’ve been through. The great Apostle Paul said it was better to marry than to burn with passion but he also felt his singleness to be praise worthy. A single person is free to contribute more time to the work of the ministry without the restrictions and distractions that married life imposes. I have truly realize the devil will use anybody and anything to destroy a person of God and we should never take our eyes off of God not even for a moment.

[urheiness]

Re: Bad Marriage...

Friday 1/5/07 at 11Am My Husaband agreed and said he would go with me to the Divorce lawyer to file the divorce papers and sign them he even called him himself. When I saw 10 am pass and he was not dressed I got concerned and prodded him about his promise to give me a divorce. He turned to me and said he would not give me a divorce that he loved his son he began to act like another person like a human being. I flew into a rage and he remained calm. Can this be another one of his mind games [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70402-thinking.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/crazy.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70402-thinking.gif[/img] He has been acting like another person these last days of the marriage. As far as I am concerned its already over [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/mad.gif[/img].

[Shine_Eye_Girl]

Re: Bad Marriage...

WOW.....this is tough and very hard to read!!!!!!!!!

But you did help me realize a few things about my own situation. although I am not married, it helped me realize that where I am is not where I want to be.

For that....I thank you!!!!!!!!!!

[julie*mango]

Re: Bad Marriage...

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: urheiness</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Friday 1/5/07 at 11Am My Husaband agreed and said he would go with me to the Divorce lawyer to file the divorce papers and sign them he even called him himself. When I saw 10 am pass and he was not dressed I got concerned and prodded him about his promise to give me a divorce. He turned to me and said he would not give me a divorce that he loved his son he began to act like another person like a human being. I flew into a rage and he remained calm. Can this be another one of his mind games [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70402-thinking.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/crazy.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70402-thinking.gif[/img] He has been acting like another person these last days of the marriage. As far as I am concerned its already over [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/mad.gif[/img]. </div></div>

Why do you need him to go to the lawyer with you to file divorce? Why don't you have him served? He sounds like he is playing bipolar just to hang onto the last threads of whatever relationship you may have. Do not let him use his mind games on you. Get the ball rolling.

[Shine_Eye_Girl]

Re: Bad Marriage...

I agree with you on that, but it seems like she already sees what he is trying to do. I think at this point she knows what needs to be done in order to be at peace......

[Compry]

Re: Bad Marriage...

(((Urheiness))) Have you considered seeing a counsellor for yourself and your own behaviour? Don't discuss your marriage. This will be for you. I see a very familiar pattern and if you end this marriage you will take the same behaviour into your next relationship. You need to figure out why, even though you get angry about the treatment you're receiving, you allow yourself to remain. You need to figure out why you need your husband to file for divorce since you're the one who wants out so desperately. Don't you think you deserve better? Don't say yes before asking yourself why you have allowed him to treat you the way he has over the years? Do you deserve love and to be loved? Before answering and please do not answer these questions here....ask yourself why are you with someone who clearly does not love you and only cares about himself?

I know you're a Christian so perhaps enlist a counsellor at the church, if available. Go back as far as possible, into your childhood and see what it is that is causing you to make the decisions you are now making.

Please believe me, divorcing this man will not mean you won't end up in the same situation again. At times we create our own hell. Fortunately God always provides a backup plan but we have to recognize that we need that backup plan and go for it.

My heart goes out to you for many reasons and I truly wish for you a much better life. You have the power to make it so, use it please.

[julie*mango]

Re: Bad Marriage...

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: TLC_28</div><div class="ubbcode-body">WOW.....this is tough and very hard to read!!!!!!!!!

But you did help me realize a few things about my own situation. although I am not married, it helped me realize that where I am is not where I want to be.

For that....I thank you!!!!!!!!!! </div></div>

TLC I hope you are being proactive about your own relationship and not reactive. It's amazing how a bad relationship can break a woman down to nothing. I am glad you recognize the ills of your relationship and hope for your sake and little ones if any that you do something about it.

I may come across as the type that sneer on the sufferings of other women but I have been there myself. I was being abused and taken granted of to the point where I had a nervous breakdown and my family made me leave the state then the country for a few weeks and I took time out to repair myself. I am emotionally healthy now. I am stronger because of it. I know where I was and where I don't want to be. I am living better, and loving better, and being loved too in return. It is a great contrast to where I was a few years ago and I thank God that I woke up before I ended up like all the other miserable women in my life. Moving on is not easy and no matter how bad you may have it on your own it is not the end of the world.

[Shine_Eye_Girl]

Re: Bad Marriage...

I am being both reactive and proctive.

Proactive because I can see things coming and avoiding them coming to light. Reactive....I see things now and they are making me realize that I can't do this. I am turning into such an angry woman and thats not who I am. I find myself angry all the time and it bothers me so much. It's been 4 years of....I don't even know what to call it anymore.

My friends all see how unhappy I am. They are all pissed at me for staying.

Tired of being unhappy and angry all the time.............

As for your reaction, I can understand why you may respond the way you do based on your past situation. I do not take it personally. Why ask if you can't take the heat right?

I'm just glad that I have people who are willing to listen to me rant and rave.......

[Night Nurse]

Re: Bad Marriage...

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: MizzWish</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: TLC_28</div><div class="ubbcode-body">WOW.....this is tough and very hard to read!!!!!!!!!

But you did help me realize a few things about my own situation. although I am not married, it helped me realize that where I am is not where I want to be.

For that....I thank you!!!!!!!!!! </div></div>

TLC I hope you are being proactive about your own relationship and not reactive. It's amazing how a bad relationship can break a woman down to nothing. I am glad you recognize the ills of your relationship and hope for your sake and little ones if any that you do something about it.

I may come across as the type that sneer on the sufferings of other women but I have been there myself. I was being abused and taken granted of to the point where I had a nervous breakdown and my family made me leave the state then the country for a few weeks and I took time out to repair myself. I am emotionally healthy now. I am stronger because of it. I know where I was and where I don't want to be. I am living better, and loving better, and being loved too in return. It is a great contrast to where I was a few years ago and I thank God that I woke up before I ended up like all the other miserable women in my life. Moving on is not easy and no matter how bad you may have it on your own it is not the end of the world. </div></div>

[img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70409-waytogo.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70409-waytogo.gif[/img] It tekk a whole lot fi get to that place or realization, and for that you should feel proud and accomplished.

[img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/notworthy.gif[/img]

[Yvonne N.]

Re: Bad Marriage...

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Compry</div><div class="ubbcode-body">(((Urheiness))) Have you considered seeing a counsellor for yourself and your own behaviour? .ask yourself why are you with someone who clearly does not love you and only cares about himself?
</div></div>

It's really interesting how different people view issues because here I am admiring ((urheiness)) for her composure and her concern for the apparent insensitivity of her husband. I was glad to see her trying to get some understanding of a personality composite so that she could try to solve her problem... but... we failed to deliver to her.

I think she is very mature in coping so effectively in what seems to be an irrational situation and I can only wish her a breakthrough as she tries to help a human being get rid of some mental and emotional inadequacies...and heal. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70409-waytogo.gif[/img]