Being black in the workplace

[Seveen]

Re: Being black in the workplace

marieK - talk with Dr. Dudd - he may have some good suggestions for you

i have worked in corporate america since 1974 and i managed my career path and i am on track still - family, home, job

there have been some challenges being black in the workplace but i have used certain "tools" to neutralize them without losing my self esteem or having to feel demeaned

i remember an assignment in the UK - boy were they surprised to see me the first day - i think everyone in the company walked past my desk

after i started my "plan of action" for their software implementation - everything was all good - the director even wrote a wonderful letter of reference - boy was i shocked - everyone had warned me he was "racist"

i agree with Dr. Dudd about being introspective - because the bottom line is - you only have the ability to change yourself

now i'm not saying "give up yourself" but focus on your mission and use the workplace to get there

i never undermine being black - I'M BLACK AND I'M PROUD

yes - i answer questions about my hair [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/rolleyes.gif[/img] , i attend the occasional after work "social event", i talk about my adventures in Jamaica and elsewhere,

and i don't walk around thinking everything happened to me because i'm black - that "rock" is too heavy to carry everyday - and i know that is not the reason for "everything"

[img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70459-hugs.gif[/img]

[Suesumba]

Re: Being black in the workplace

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Seveen</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><span style="color: #FF0000"><span style='font-size: 23pt'>i don't walk around thinking everything happened to me because i'm black</span> </span>- that "rock" is too heavy to carry everyday - and i know that is not the reason for "everything"
</div></div>

worth repeating [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70409-waytogo.gif[/img]

[MarieK]

Re: Being black in the workplace

I will talk with Dr. D. I too have seen jaws drop when I show up for a meeting or conference, I have been in a closing with a few gentlemen who said afterwards, "you speak so well and are so efficient" [Barak, I feel your pain]

BTW - I am speaking from experience, I grew up with a black grandmother and a white grandfather (from Ireland) I grew up seeing the woman move mountains in my family and the men were very respectful of their wives, not as wives but as partners. My grandfather to his dying day professed that my grandmother, had it not been for her, he would be lost.

I grew up around business owners, people who were making it an independent, we were not taught to associate color with success, so when I came here and heard the complaints, I thought it was soooo annoying, of course what we knew about the triangle trade was as follows.

1. It happened then
2. It is not happening now.

So who knew that it still had such residual effect.

[Seveen]

Re: Being black in the workplace

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Mrs. MarieK</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I will talk with Dr. D. I too have seen jaws drop when I show up for a meeting or conference, I have been in a closing with a few gentlemen who said afterwards, "you speak so well and are so efficient" [Barak, I feel your pain]
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so what if jaws drop - that should make you hold your head higher - YES I'M HERE! i used to do training for commpanies, talk with them weeks over the phone and finally show up -- jaws dropped - i chuckled - started to look for it - but in the back of my mind it was like - CHECK ME NOW

and their comments sound like "feedback" to me - you know the part of your performance appraisal when they ask about communication skills and time management skills - accept the compliments and move on . . .

and i don't think Barak is in pain - he didn't ask for the apology - the "media" did - he's already learned how to use "the tools"

[Seveen]

Re: Being black in the workplace

there is a billboard here in jacksonville that says

he's a very articulate black man

then articulate is crossed through

he's a very articulate man

thats a compliment for any person - and that what was said about Barak

the black was interjected by the "media" - don't interject it into your compliments

Nuff said [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70459-hugs.gif[/img]

[MarieK]

Re: Being black in the workplace

Seveen - i did the twirl, you know the one which says look at me now, and I did respond to the statement about my ability to speak clearly with "why thank you, thanks to those little girls in the South who braved death threats to go to school, we are able to enjoy the benefits of education"

usually I walk off. Of course my answers were not always so "nice" but always on point and always resulted in [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/shocked.gif[/img]

but it gets tiring. These are not the htings I want you to remember about me, back then what I was was a woman, though 25 years of age, showing up and doing a good job. Reward me with "thank you" not with "oh wow, you speak so well" speaking well comes naturally, being able to conduct these transactions took years of studying, trial and error and working towards perfection, I dind't have to work hard to know how to speak

[Seveen]

Re: Being black in the workplace

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Mrs. MarieK</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Seveen - i did the twirl, you know the one which says look at me now, and I did respond to the statement about my ability to speak clearly with "why thank you, thanks to those little girls in the South who braved death threats to go to school, we are able to enjoy the benefits of education"
</div></div>

i hope others answer - but i do not think this is not an appropriate response for the workplace

[Kimberley24]

Re: Being black in the workplace

It is good to be able to get advice from you folks who have been in the system longer than us younger one's. It helps us to keep our heads up and push on. My husband worries alot about my being in the corporate world and not being used to prejudices ect...I stay at my current job despite the wages because of the atmosphere, very respecful ect but i know some day i will have to move on and quite scared by the whole thought...I pray for the strength to deal with it all. Be strong MarieK

[MarieK]

Re: Being black in the workplace

it wasn't appropriate, I AGREE, but I am tired of saying "yes thanks" or bringin git up with the supervisor who said "well you know, they were only complimenting you" that's another side of me that needs work. Fram birth I had a quick tongue and what I say normally gets to the point with a sting. Not defending it, still working on it, just havent perfected it but I am getting better [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/wink.gif[/img]

Consider me a work in progress but it did garner the response I wanted - it was never said again

[MarieK]

Re: Being black in the workplace

Oh boy, Kimberly, I foudn a jbo like that once, it was PERFECT, they were brutally honest with me as I was iwth them about EVERYTHING, I was a team, a woman who was given challenge and met them each and everytime. Great company, not so good pay but I managed, then they dissolved and I went to a different firm and I HAD to leave. I was getting up miserable every single day.

[blugiant]

Re: Being black in the workplace

mii knoo wan olda blakk mann widd a mba wey graduate summa cum laude. imm wass wukkinn fii bigg computa companee awl dem mekk imm doo wass issuinn voucher ann recardinn oww much money imm give out. dem even promoted imm twice. wen da companee downsized imm gitt buyout ann imm started imm own accountinn firm

[Seveen]

Re: Being black in the workplace

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Mrs. MarieK</div><div class="ubbcode-body">it wasn't appropriate, I AGREE, but I am tired of saying "yes thanks" or bringin git up with the supervisor who said "well you know, they were only complimenting you" that's another side of me that needs work. Fram birth I had a quick tongue and what I say normally gets to the point with a sting. Not defending it, still working on it, just havent perfected it but I am getting better [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/wink.gif[/img]

Consider me a work in progress but it did garner the response I wanted - it was never said again </div></div>


still don't understand why you didn't accept this as a compliment - not everyone can do public speaking

and if people stop speaking to you (never said again) you will not be a "team member"

and at work everyone has managers - even the CEO - and sometimes you have to respect their knowledge - even though their way may not be your way - the buck stops with them

ie - i would have let the attorney review the contract again after i made the changes and i would have noted that if i did not receive changes by such and such a date (and point out the relevancy of that date)i would send the contract

and to give the benefit of the doubt - if i didn't hear from him - i would try and alert him again - saying today is the day bla bla contract is due - if you have no changes - it will be sent

there is a corporate process . . .

[Fyah]

Re: Being black in the workplace

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Seveen</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
and at work everyone has managers - even the CEO - and sometimes you have to respect their knowledge - even though their way may not be your way - the buck stops with them

ie - i would have let the attorney review the contract again after i made the changes and i would have noted that if i did not receive changes by such and such a date (and point out the relevancy of that date)i would send the contract

and to give the benefit of the doubt - if i didn't hear from him - i would try and alert him again - saying today is the day bla bla contract is due - if you have no changes - it will be sent

there is a corporate process . . .

</div></div>

Seveen, you make so much sense. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70409-waytogo.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70409-waytogo.gif[/img]

One thing that is not being considered here tho is the fact that we jamaicans sometimes don't have the level of tolerance, respect and understanding that is needed to survive this type of workplace madness that they present us with.

The way me hear others describe we is datt we are very rude and we act like we are beyond reproach many times. We tend to interpret that as 'having nuff pride'. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/rolleyes.gif[/img]

Now me see with my two eyzz and hear witt my two eazzz how some of us jamaicans carry on with we one another, so it is not hard for me to believe say well denn we will meet hell in racist and dog-eat-dog capitalistic a merica.

Datt madda-lang-tongue business must stop. We don't always have to be right. We must understand that we boss is we boss and even tho we don't have to bow down to no one, we must respect their positions. We have to show respect to get respect. There are many resources available for us to use if we are being treated unfairly in the workplace, but we have a role to play too, in making it a pleasant environment.

Datt is something i witness people from other places can do without a problem, to a degree, but when it comes to us jamaicans we push up we mowt and kiss we teet demm and gwan a certain way that will confuse most people. We have to really check we self like Dr. Dudd suggested.

The corporate world will chew us up and spit we out like gum, if we are not careful. We set we expectation high yes, but we need to be realistic as well. This is a racist country/world and unless we are prepared to push doo-doo up hill witt a stick, we will undoubtedly become the product of our own fiestyness and stubborness.

When we start conducting ourselves like we are a part of a team, we will see better results. It is not as much a black thing all the time, but many time it is more a personal development, discipline and showing respect thing.

At any given time we are either a part of the problem or a part of the solution, so we must check we self and be honest witt the role we are playing in the workplace and make sure datt we are not passing off our bad attitude as something else.

[Seveen]

Re: Being black in the workplace

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Rundung</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> push doo-doo up hill witt a stick
</div></div>

never saw that job posted - thank goodness [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img]

[MarieK]

Re: Being black in the workplace

RD I hear what you say about tolerance but this was not the case.

I am well aware what someone means when they say it, if there is any doubt I alwasy assume the best. But picture this, I walk into a board room or a conference room, already I get stares and roll eyes, I have even had one man refuse to carry out the transaction (but he was Muslim so I chalked that up to cultural whatever u wanna call it - just to assume the best and respected that) however, TRUST ME, that wasn't what he meant.

I wasn't publicly speaking, I merely stated what the contract said, reiterated a few points, directed them where to sign and oversaw a wire transfer, things my white coworkers did but they never got the same compliments. I have never seen anyone after a meeting or even publicly speaking being told you speak so well, well those opposite of me, it was always "good job" "good speech" or something to that effect.