How do I go on??

[nattydreadgirl]

Re: How do I go on??

(((JamaicaBoo)))

You have gotten some good advice here, and sounds like you are doing the right thing, praying, having faith, and taking it one day at a time. This too shall pass. Remember, that everyone comes in our life for a reason, season or a Lifetime. It is up to you to acknowledge that this was a season and it is over.

I will keep you in my prayers, been there, know what you are going thru, Please Please remember that time will heal all of your pain that you are going thru right now.

Take care of your babygirl!!

[kingy]

Re: How do I go on??

It also may not be him but her. Jamaica seenms like the victim here but who knows. From this situation theo nly victim is the child.

anyways. keep talking people. do yall thing.

[nattydreadgirl]

Re: How do I go on??

(((KINGY)))

I am confused, how is Jamaica the victim?

[MarieK]

Re: How do I go on??

Kingy, anytime you can get up and abandon your child because of your feelings for someone else something is wrong with YOU, not the other party.

[Suesumba]

Re: How do I go on??

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Mrs. MarieK</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Kingy, anytime you can get up and abandon your child because of your feelings for someone else something is wrong with YOU, not the other party.

</div></div>

the man is heartless. just plain heartless.

EDITED to ask jamaicaboo:

you were married to him, so there must have been some deep affection in the beginning. that said, did you have any inklings or indication that he would do this? did his behaviour change?

i'd be shocked if he was lovey dovey this morning and by evening he'd step. if this question is too personal, you don't need to answer it.

[kingy]

Re: How do I go on??

beleive me. mi agree wid all a unu man the left child part.

[ohliz]

Re: How do I go on??

{{{J-boo}}}

I think you've gotten really good advice from the women here. I have nothing to add, just wanted to express my support.

[fraggie]

Re: How do I go on??

Kingy, I am sure she would tell us the other the side of the story if there is any. But for now I would of to take her words for it.

The state she is in right now may not be the right time to press on to ask her. She will tell us the next time she visit and read this
post. I am sure there other curious as Kingy to know if there is an
other version to it.

Next time she post you should got story completely, if not her words is the only thing stands.

[Boopie2]

Re: How do I go on??

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: SueSumba</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Mrs. MarieK</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Kingy, anytime you can get up and abandon your child because of your feelings for someone else something is wrong with YOU, not the other party.

</div></div>

the man is heartless. just plain heartless.

EDITED to ask jamaicaboo:

you were married to him, so there must have been some deep affection in the beginning. that said, did you have any inklings or indication that he would do this? did his behaviour change?

i'd be shocked if he was lovey dovey this morning and by evening he'd step. if this question is too personal, you don't need to answer it. </div></div>


I can't believe this either, so many times women have clues right in their faces but they seem to dismiss them and go on like nothing is wrong. Personally I would rather him to just get going instead of making my life miserable. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70400-talktohand.gif[/img] He could be beating you and arguing with you every day, hearing other people's woes will make yours seem like a piece of sand.

Not saying this is your case, but some women out here have these babies just to try and hold on to the guy. My mother was married to my dad and early on she left ans didn't look back. My strength comes from her and all the women in my family, no need to bad mouth him in front of your child she will grow up and see for herself.

Everybody has a choice in life in which way to follow, you can"t sit around blaming others you just have to get on with things and always remember "It could be worst"

[jamaicaboo]

Re: How do I go on??

WOW!! I thought I would take a minute from packing to see what was going on,,,, well firstly thanks for all of the advice, it is truly wonderful to have, secondly there is a huge underlying issue but I had signs and guess I refused to see them, sometimes when we are in love we see things but tend to brush it off as nothing, I think I had the signs shortly after him getting through with all the paper work, long story short there were many others and when confronted about it, the answere was to leave us behind, but you know what i think everyday I rise I am a little stronger, knowing I am moving tomorrow is making me feel goo to know I am doing it myself, I have pride and I am now looking at myself not as the one who was left behind but the one who is again availabe to make the right man happy. I cooked, I cleaned, I took care of our daughter, I paid the bills, Imade sure ends met, but I NEVER EVER got ANYTHING in return, maybe I should have walked out on him but I never did I loved him but I guess I loved him too much!
I was in it for the long haul I love him unconditionally but as said earlier some are in your life for a lifetime some for a season I guess I was so wrapped up in love I never seen the signs but now it is me left to pick up the pieces.

[fraggie]

Re: How do I go on??

You see kingy she saw changies in the man and refuse to see them
due to blind in mids of love. So that mean say the man made up him mind long time.

If god did give man the power to see what taking place in one's
heart. I glad you pulling your self together move on with your
life.

[mspeach]

Re: How do I go on??

jamaicaboo, i'm so sorry your goiing through this, but look in yourself and you will find the inner strength with in you for you and your daughter. good luck on the move, it will be a fresh start, think it, feel it, show it and live it, I can and I will make it through this....strength ....within strength, I know it's easier to say, but that's what's going to ultimately get you through.

[niceniss]

Re: How do I go on??

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: jamaicaboo</div><div class="ubbcode-body">... I think I had the signs shortly after him getting through with all the paper work, long story short there were many others and when confronted about it, the answere was to leave us behind, ...
I cooked, I cleaned, I took care of our daughter, I paid the bills, Imade sure ends met, but I NEVER EVER got ANYTHING in return, maybe I should have walked out on him but I never did I loved him but I guess I loved him too much!
I was in it for the long haul I love him unconditionally but as said earlier some are in your life for a lifetime some for a season I guess I was so wrapped up in love I never seen the signs but now it is me left to pick up the pieces. </div></div>

You know, black men(in jamaica) are used to being men , so very used to it. Afterall, that's why they're so saught after, they're manly and masculine, right?
So why emasculate him by paying for everything and doing everything? I bet he liked it at first. Who wouldn't? But after being made to being a "kept man" he sought women who would appreciate his masculinity.
No my dear, often your culture will never get the Jamaican one. White women love black men because they're "real and tough men" yet they quickly set about to soften him and own him then get the shock of their lives when they walk out.
Sorry, I'm just feeling a little honest here. Hope you don't mind...

[SistahD]

Re: How do I go on??

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Mrs. MarieK</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Oh Yes, I forgot about that, if you don't get at least a legal separation or somethign filed w/ the court he can rack up bills in YOUR name and YOU will be responsible.

Let him go. You ahve dealth with much worse than this and have overcome that and dont' worry, his family is insignificant at this point. </div></div>


...most important... establish a legal custody / support arrangement


Sorry to hear (((JamBoo))) concentrate of giving your daughter a good life, full of love. Your time will come.

[MarieK]

Re: How do I go on??

I don't know too many white women who do this but I can show you a whole boat load of black ones who do it.

JBoo did what any woman would do and that is provide for her family. If Mr. Marie came home and said he doesn't have a job, what should I do? Beat up on him and say get a job, be a man, or remember the times I was out of work (like now) and he's the only source of income or pray that if that happens he'll stand by me.

white women face the same issues. There was no way she could have known he was going to act that way and who is to say that he wont do the same to a black woman even a Jamaican.

I can point out so many Yaad man who lef dem pickney behind and never look back and they were with black Jamaican women.

As many LDRs that don't work there are twice as many that do, people just don't say because they will be told "soon enough you will see him for who he is"

I met a woman jus this week who is married to a Jamaican man for 35 years but I can show you a Jamaican couple who got divorced after just 3 years. So what is the parallel here