What would you do

[newcomer]

Re: What would you do

Skelly

point well taken

the heart has it's own way of functioning though doesn't it?

I won't tell you that if this treatment he is seeking doesn't bring him to a place where he is turning himself around I will stay in it forever
I am,so to speak,willing to give it a last chance and see if he is strong enough to make life change for himself
I have seen people with addictions in the past go for help and change their whole life

the man is not a down and dirty crack head either
he has a good clean side to him as well
am I just defending him here?
maybe [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/smirk.gif[/img] but honestly I have seen a good side that I hope can outweigh the problem he is dealing with
I do care for him so I will as I said pray
but NO I won't stay on forever with something if it doesn't change trust me I have been asking myself why I didn't walk away already,it's just not my nature to walk out when someone is having a hard time
but again I say,it won't last forever if it doesn't change
I am wiser than that
I am no kid,been around the block a few times myself [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/grin.gif[/img]

[ZaraJah]

Re: What would you do

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: concerned</div><div class="ubbcode-body">he has his own story and he could have come from <span style="color: #CC0000">timbuck two </span> it may have worked out this way...</div></div>

[img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70394-bawlout.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70394-bawlout.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img]

Sorry, [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70361-embarassed.gif[/img] I've just never seen it written in patois before. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img]

[Suesumba]

Re: What would you do

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: concerned</div><div class="ubbcode-body">WOW!!!!
HE NOW WANTS TO DO IT so God be with him and keep him strong
......he isn't a yute he is a grown man
</div></div>

you should start taking crack too. this way you'll have a deeper understanding and empathy for his problem. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70459-hugs.gif[/img]

[JM1]

Re: What would you do

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: concerned</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Skelly

point well taken

the heart has it's own way of functioning though doesn't it?

I won't tell you that if this treatment he is seeking doesn't bring him to a place where he is turning himself around I will stay in it forever
I am,so to speak,willing to give it a last chance and see if he is strong enough to make life change for himself
I have seen people with addictions in the past go for help and change their whole life

the man is not a down and dirty crack head either
he has a good clean side to him as well
am I just defending him here?
maybe [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/smirk.gif[/img] but honestly I have seen a good side that I hope can outweigh the problem he is dealing with
I do care for him so I will as I said pray
but NO I won't stay on forever with something if it doesn't change trust me I have been asking myself why I didn't walk away already,it's just not my nature to walk out when someone is having a hard time
but again I say,it won't last forever if it doesn't change
I am wiser than that
I am no kid,been around the block a few times myself [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/grin.gif[/img]
</div></div>


Concerned, rescue relationships generally go no where and love doesn't conquer all.

You'll never get these years back. Free yourself. Life is short and every day is a gift.

[RasDivine]

Re: What would you do

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: concerned</div><div class="ubbcode-body">NO...that isn't my way
I don't want to run on someone when they need help

that I am afraid,it the mentality of to many

this man is lucky to have not only me,but others,family and friends who want to help him

hell...who knows...maybe when all is said and done he won't be the man I want to be with but that will remain to be seen
and I can't do this for me I have to do this to help him [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70459-idea.gif[/img] </div></div>

Sistren,
It seems as if you have already decided upon what you want to do regarding this situation. You can't ask for advice if you already have your mind made up about whatever is disturbing you.

I think it's great that you want to help this person, however I think you should recognize that this is something he has dealt with for some time now, on and off in his life. The only way he is going to TRULY gain anything from treatment is if HE wants to go for himself and not for anyone else.

A friend of mine has recently found out that her husband has been addicted to crack for 10 years. She has known him for 8 years and they've been married for about 2 years. She was told by him while she was pregnant. She said that if she had known before she would have NEVER stayed. They seemed like the ultimate couple and he is such a nice, respectable man you would have never have known about his demons. No matter how well he functions, he still has demons and he can't be there fully for his family when he comes home high. I hope this gives you some perspective. You can't create happiness for someone else.

Bless up.

[newcomer]

Re: What would you do

you have a way with words woman

but this I will tell you
if we all had as little empathy in life as you seem to
we would live in a cold cold world
I wonder how you feel for the children who are dying from Aids because there parents had drug PROBLEMS
problems...yes the key word here,not a social choice for all in the world

when one is selfish enough to think there little perfect world should stay just that way,not be disturbed by anyone else's troubles I have to wonder [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/frown.gif[/img]
count your blessings woman and be grateful that your world is not disturbed by such imperfection

[Suesumba]

Re: What would you do

you wonder how i feel? i feel this post is more contrived the more i read it. indeed, children dying from AIDS and you actively contributing to some grown man's crack addiction with your foreign dollars are hardly on the same scale. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/rolleyes.gif[/img]

and yes, my world is a cold, cold place. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70400-talktohand.gif[/img]

[newcomer]

Re: What would you do

"The only way he is going to TRULY gain anything from treatment is if HE wants to go for himself and not for anyone else"

this was my point when I said "now he wants the help"
I have talked many times with him about that
yes,he needs to do this for only himself
I know this isn't about me or anyone else but himself
I pray God gives HIM strength to work it out
if I walk away from it all today I can go on with my own life
he will remain with his own problem if he can't find the want to fix it for himself

no....it isn't easy to be in a relationship with a man having this kind of trouble



"what doesn't kill you will make your stronger"
[img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/notworthy.gif[/img]

[newcomer]

Re: What would you do

Luciano has a song where the lyrics state

"yes I have wasted my time,trying to deal with mankind"
if I learned nothing more from all my travels to Jamaica I learned how people come together to help each other

a concept that many here in the states don't know how to put to use


my dollars from foreign,which by the way run a likkle easier than dollars from other places,money can't save or give life so why not help with it if that is what it takes to help
this money isn't going to buy the man a new suit
hope you get my point here
not sure you will agree but that is okay
that is what makes us who we are and how life runs for each of us

respect and blessings

[Suesumba]

Re: What would you do

o well. di boad soh rahtid dead mi dis glad mi have sitt'n fi ansa to [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/grin.gif[/img]

[newcomer]

Re: What would you do

just curious????


are you Jamaican?
you chat in Patois so this is why I ask

[Nunya]

Re: What would you do

I take it then that the point of this thread is that you just wanted support for your position? [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70402-thinking.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/confused.gif[/img]

[RasDivine]

Re: What would you do

No disrespect but are you sure you ain't smoking some of that coke too?

I don't think you are as concerned or confused as you may want people to believe. You sound like u mind ahreddy mek up. So send him the money and let him get the help he needs and see what happens...simple.

[img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/nahtalktoyuh.gif[/img]

[Suesumba]

Re: What would you do

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: concerned</div><div class="ubbcode-body">just curious????


are you Jamaican?
you chat in Patois so this is why I ask </div></div>

no. i'm not jamaican, but i've slept with enough jamaican men to co-opt jamaican culture [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70365-flirt.gif[/img]

[newcomer]

Re: What would you do

no sister...I am not smoking the crack too
I know that was not meant in a way that was serious,lord knows I at least hope not

why wouldn't you think I was concerned or confused?
I do wonder [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70456-eyebrows.gif[/img]

this is a man I met 2 1/2 years ago
as I said I didn't know this problem existed when I first met him
so once the heart gets involved it isn't easy to just turn your back,would you agree on that?

I am going to give the money,and NO by the way,it is not to him
NEVER AGAIN to him
it will go to the rehab directly
this is provided that after his interview today they accept him
in to their program

simple...no...quite complicated when one doesn't want to add to another's problem or make more problems for myself either
I only hope I am doing the right thing and he will make this work for himself