Family Issue

[Nunya]

Re: Family Issue

[img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70402-thinking.gif[/img] That's a thought... though yeah, how he'd get care for his cancer I'on know...

[kia027]

Re: Family Issue

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: mountaingal</div><div class="ubbcode-body">but Kia, who gwine mind him and pay him rent in Jamaica? im wife? although that might be cheaper than paying costs in the states.

sounds like the uncle really hit a hard road with his immediate family, caw man when dem sick usually want to be near wife no matter hard dem be.

</div></div>

that is the same questions I have been asking. If he has a way to pay his way, it is less on an issue.. who knows maybe the family wants him outta dem eyesight & will do it fi im?

[Nunya]

Re: Family Issue

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: mountaingal</div><div class="ubbcode-body">sounds like the uncle really hit a hard road with his immediate wife, caw man when dem sick usually want to be near wife no matter hard dem be.
</div></div>

The wife is very involved with her church. She said it was through connections made at the church that she was able to buy the house (although uncle put most of the money into it) and it was through her church that she has the job she's got.

She makes huge financial contributions to the church. When he was getting treatment and wasn't able to bring in his likkle pittance every two weeks, she had to cut back on what she gave to the church and de pastor dem draw har up bout it.

My uncle is not a church goer and does not contribute financially. More than once she's implied that the pastors think all his grief is as a result of him not being a member.

Should he leave she'd be relieved.

[mountaingal]

Re: Family Issue

dang. "for better or worse, in sickness and in health, etc." i thought the church would be more supportive of her in fulfilling her marriage vows, even if her hubby is not a member. sounds like she's being given a choice of supporting her husband or supporting her church.

mi kinna sorry fi you uncle, though it look like im may have caused some of him own misfortune in the way im relate to im family. but not sorry fi him to di extent dat mi ting im should become your problem.

[CeaBee]

Re: Family Issue

I agree with you MG.

[kia027]

Re: Family Issue

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: mountaingal</div><div class="ubbcode-body">dang. "for better or worse, in sickness and in health, etc." i thought the church would be more supportive of her in fulfilling her marriage vows, even if her hubby is not a member. sounds like she's being given a choice of supporting her husband or supporting her church.

mi kinna sorry fi you uncle, though it look like im may have caused some of him own misfortune in the way im relate to im family. but not sorry fi him to di extent dat mi ting im should become your problem.
</div></div> Exactly [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70409-waytogo.gif[/img] Mountaingal for putting it so well

[Boopie2]

Re: Family Issue

[quote=mountaingal]Your uncle has a wife and two children - and your mother wants you to rescue him? Families, I tell you! \o/

My opinion is that your building your uncle a house on your land ought not to be the solution, just on principle (now that mi hear him can be a demanding man, though cancer may force a change in his behaviour). It may even raise resentment among your uncle's family, cause it will make them look bad. His ongoing care ought to be the concern of his immediate family - let them deal with it is what I say.



I agree, it's going to be some mixed up thing anyway you turn. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70374-lipsrsealed.gif[/img] But your mother shouldn't feel guilty in trying to help your uncle then try to push you into feeling guilty. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70388-shameonyou.gif[/img] You're going to be miserable if you help and finacially you and David have to suffer in the end.

Whatever happened to people not being the bad guy if they can't help. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/mad2.gif[/img] I'm sorry about your uncle being sick as well but he has family that needs to kick in and help him. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/mad2.gif[/img]

Something simular happened to my friend she trusted her own sister to make deposits for her. All these years she couldn't go to JA and her own sister was helping herself to her money. She wouldn't even give her a bank book, I wonder why. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70456-eyebrows.gif[/img] After she finally found out what was happening, her nephew jumped hot with her saying that his mother wasn't any thief. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/eek2.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/eek2.gif[/img] Of course that bought in the whole family, who was on who's side. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/rolleyes.gif[/img]

Everybody makes there own decisions but you shouldn't be bullied out of guilt to do something you're not able to do. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/mad2.gif[/img]

[kia027]

Re: Family Issue


Boopie mi have to hand it to you ! Every life situation you know someone that has gone through similar [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/notworthy.gif[/img]

[Nunya]

Re: Family Issue

Kia behave yuhself [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70388-shameonyou.gif[/img]

Boopie I love you [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70459-hugs.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img]

I'm going to suggest the rent thing to Mom and see what she says...

[Boopie2]

Re: Family Issue

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Kia</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
Boopie mi have to hand it to you ! Every life situation you know someone that has gone through similar [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/notworthy.gif[/img] </div></div>

What can I say I have lots of friends. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/1teeth.jpg[/img] My friend had to call the bank for them to take her sister's name off of her account. The bank told her they would need some kind of certified letter from her sister to have her name erased from the account. She had to act nice towards her sister in order to get things straight. When my friend finally was able to travel to Jamaica, she couldn't believe how much money her sister had taken. Anybody else would have ended up killing the family member for that. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/eek2.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/eek2.gif[/img]

[Boopie2]

Re: Family Issue

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Kia</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
Boopie mi have to hand it to you ! Every life situation you know someone that has gone through similar [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/notworthy.gif[/img] </div></div>

The only thing I don't know too much about is the drug and rock in roll thing, oh and cancer. We have heart problems in my fam not cancer. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70384-praying.gif[/img] Oh and added anyone doing perverted acts. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70374-lipsrsealed.gif[/img]

If you don't know anybody that has been in some kind of money/land business mix up I would have to say you're not being truthful. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img]

[Gen]

Re: Family Issue

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Kia</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
Boopie mi have to hand it to you ! Every life situation you know someone that has gone through similar [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/notworthy.gif[/img] </div></div>


[img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70402-thinking.gif[/img]

[OcheeHeart]

Re: Family Issue

This is a hard one Nunya. What is David's opinion on the matter? Your mother should understand that you alos have a husband with an opinion in the situation just as she does.

I don't think him moving back to Jamaica is the most feasible solution considering his cancer is not in remission. Even if you and David could afford to build a little dwelling on the land, who would be responsible for the upkeep of the land and house, the misc. bills, etc? How would he get his treatments?

What happens when the person that takes the responsibility to manage all of those variables gets tired?

[Kurlie]

Re: Family Issue

Nunya...sorry to hear about your uncle [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70459-hugs.gif[/img]

sometimes when an individual is sick and yearning to go home is because they are ready to meet their maker. Do you think he is healthy enough and will live long enough to wait until the house is build? Depending on how far gone the cancer is, he might not even be strong enough to live on his own. How about finding somewhere to rent that's closer to your parents home. In that way, he will not be far from them and maybe the rent for a one bedroom in Jamaica is more reasonable on your pocket.

Just a thought.

[Nunya]

Re: Family Issue

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: OcheeHeart</div><div class="ubbcode-body">This is a hard one Nunya. What is David's opinion on the matter? Your mother should understand that you alos have a husband with an opinion in the situation just as she does.

I don't think him moving back to Jamaica is the most feasible solution considering his cancer is not in remission. Even if you and David could afford to build a little dwelling on the land, who would be responsible for the upkeep of the land and house, the misc. bills, etc? How would he get his treatments?

What happens when the person that takes the responsibility to manage all of those variables gets tired?

</div></div>

David *sigh* As soon as he hears a 'reason' for moving to Ja, he's all for it \0/ He refuses to see the downside [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/whatever.gif[/img] So I've stopped giving him updates [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/helpsmilie.gif[/img]

Yeah, we're not going to building. Not until we can really afford it and we can live in it... But I'm going suggest the rent thing to mom. I know she's going to ask me how much 'we' are willing to pay... \0/ baby steps I guess...