Family Issue

[OcheeHeart]

Re: Family Issue

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Nunya</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: OcheeHeart</div><div class="ubbcode-body">This is a hard one Nunya. What is David's opinion on the matter? Your mother should understand that you alos have a husband with an opinion in the situation just as she does.

I don't think him moving back to Jamaica is the most feasible solution considering his cancer is not in remission. Even if you and David could afford to build a little dwelling on the land, who would be responsible for the upkeep of the land and house, the misc. bills, etc? How would he get his treatments?

What happens when the person that takes the responsibility to manage all of those variables gets tired?

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David *sigh* As soon as he hears a 'reason' for moving to Ja, he's all for it \0/ He refuses to see the downside [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/whatever.gif[/img] So I've stopped giving him updates [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/helpsmilie.gif[/img]

Yeah, we're not going to building. Not until we can really afford it and we can live in it... But I'm going suggest the rent thing to mom. I know she's going to ask me how much 'we' are willing to pay... \0/ baby steps I guess...

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DWL at David. Henny reason atall fe move a yaad. Mi love ie. I may be reading between the lines wrong here...but it seems that your uncle has burned a few bridges in his day. I am amazed that noone wants to help in his time of need except your mom via your pocketbook.

I was thinking the same thing that Kurlie said about your uncle. I don't want to speak that into existence though. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70384-praying.gif[/img] I pray that his condition has not deteriorated to the point of having to consider a hospice.

There is a lot to consider in relocating him to Jamaica. His health care would be the most important. Will there be adequate care and provisions for him without further denting you and David's budget? I am speculating that he has health coverage now at the very least to help with some of the medical expenses.

love you sis!

[Nunya]

Re: Family Issue

(((babygirl)))

I am getting thrown in at the deep end. I don't know how much or what exactly is involved in caring for someone with cancer. All I know is that his state is wearing on my mom who has diabetes and high blood pressure and eye issues...

So it's really because of her why I am even considering helping out... she does not need the stress

but I know that we cannot shoulder the full burden of him...

I was gonna call her last night, but I've decided to wait until she calls me [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/helpsmilie.gif[/img]

[OcheeHeart]

Re: Family Issue

((((((Nunya))))))

I think your mom is fretting because your uncle is not within range of her watchful eye and care.

I think your uncle is remembering a time gone by when he was king of his castle and could take care of himself. He is tired of being a burden to those that should be loving him. No one should have to fight cancer, and try to remain as invisible as possible.

I also think you should talk directly with your cousins, and don't beat around the bush about how this is affecting your mother, and you. I wouldn't even tell my mom that I was talking to them. They may just need a stiff kick in their you know what for them to man up and step up to their responsibilities. They need to be called on their slackness, or they will remain content to allow someone else to shoulder the burden.

You need to start talking dollars and cents to your mom. I would make a list of possible expenditures to relocate him to Jamaica, starting with airfare costs, room & board (or using her plan to use the land cost and timeframe to build a likkle someting), caretaker, doctor visits ($$ per visit & # of visits), medicinal costs, transportation costs, etc. If you can give her a honest assessment of the ongoing budget required, I think she will know that you are not just shuffling your feet because you don't want the added responsiblity. Lether know that you have seriously considered how you can help out, and how your extra Canadian dollars won't make a dent in the overall costs. Unfortunately, he is battling a very expense disease, and he can't make do without most of the things I listed.

IMHO, I would not move him to Jamaica until the doctors started recommending a hospice. When they begin recommending a hospice, they can almost predict the date and time of death. There is no hope at that point of remission, and the hospice is simply to make sure his last moments are as comfortable as possible. In that unfortunate time, I would then do everything in my power to ensure my uncle spent his last moments where his heart is....Jamaica.

You are right to shoulder the burden for your mother, but don't let his family pimp you or your mother either.

[Boopie2]

Re: Family Issue

I meant to say their, there [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img]

[Nunya]

Re: Family Issue

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: OcheeHeart</div><div class="ubbcode-body">((((((Nunya))))))

I think your mom is fretting because your uncle is not within range of her watchful eye and care.

I think your uncle is remembering a time gone by when he was king of his castle and could take care of himself. He is tired of being a burden to those that should be loving him. No one should have to fight cancer, and try to remain as invisible as possible.

I also think you should talk directly with your cousins, and don't beat around the bush about how this is affecting your mother, and you. I wouldn't even tell my mom that I was talking to them. They may just need a stiff kick in their you know what for them to man up and step up to their responsibilities. They need to be called on their slackness, or they will remain content to allow someone else to shoulder the burden.

You need to start talking dollars and cents to your mom. I would make a list of possible expenditures to relocate him to Jamaica, starting with airfare costs, room & board (or using her plan to use the land cost and timeframe to build a likkle someting), caretaker, doctor visits ($$ per visit & # of visits), medicinal costs, transportation costs, etc. If you can give her a honest assessment of the ongoing budget required, I think she will know that you are not just shuffling your feet because you don't want the added responsiblity. Lether know that you have seriously considered how you can help out, and how your extra Canadian dollars won't make a dent in the overall costs. Unfortunately, he is battling a very expense disease, and he can't make do without most of the things I listed.

IMHO, I would not move him to Jamaica until the doctors started recommending a hospice. When they begin recommending a hospice, they can almost predict the date and time of death. There is no hope at that point of remission, and the hospice is simply to make sure his last moments are as comfortable as possible. In that unfortunate time, I would then do everything in my power to ensure my uncle spent his last moments where his heart is....Jamaica.

You are right to shoulder the burden for your mother, but don't let his family pimp you or your mother either. </div></div>


[img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/notworthy.gif[/img] I hadn't thought of that - writing it all out... yeah... that's a good idea man! [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70409-waytogo.gif[/img] Then I'll send it to her... yeah...

[OcheeHeart]

Re: Family Issue

Please add de $250 US OcheeHeart consultation fee...tonks.

[SamChabs]

Re: Family Issue

Hi Nunya

I am so sorry to read about your troubles. DOnt really have any advice. Your mom tho, sounds just like mine [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/eek.gif[/img]

Hope it works out eventually.

[Nunya]

Re: Family Issue

(((Samantha)))

[applepie]

Re: Family Issue

Taking care of someone with cancer is no joke. He would still be better off here until hospice kicks in.(and bear in mind hospice no cheap either) He was working or is working so there should be some social security coming in, plus Medicaid should kick in for some kind of insurance here.