For Some Single Ladies

[jedi]

Re: For Some Single Ladies

Originally posted by CEW:
[qb]

Originally posted by Jedi:
[qb]...Because she loves you true? [/qb]

That AND mutually shared values. [/qb]

I might have mutually shared values with you but I wouldn't marry you. Which came first? I mean to say [img]/forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

[sistagirl]

Re: For Some Single Ladies

Originally posted by Jedi:
How do you know have you tried it are you sure you allowed love to conquer or did you take the upper hand in the matter?

Yes I know for me because I have "tried" it. I did not "allow" love to do anything and no I didn't have the upper hand in the matter. True love can make you work hard, love hard, strive for the same goals hard but love cannot make you happy if you are not happy with yourself. Many factors come into play here and you can love till your blue in the face..if you are not on the same accord in external matters in time if love does not fade it will turn into resentment.

The only thing that makes the differences stand out more is your SELF aka selfishness. [/QUOTE]

For you maybe..for me, no

[Diplomat]

Re: For Some Single Ladies

Originally posted by Jedi:
[qb]...I might have mutually shared values with you but I wouldn't marry you. Which came first? I mean to say [img]/forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img] [/qb]

Actually, I am rather pleased you wouldn't though it is not something that would ever cross my mind [img]/forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img] . You're a trip! [img]/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] Anyways, I think we have taken full advantage of Queen's thread so you are on your own from here in onwards.

[jedi]

Re: For Some Single Ladies

Originally posted by sistagirl:
[qb]

Originally posted by Jedi:
How do you know have you tried it are you sure you allowed love to conquer or did you take the upper hand in the matter?

Yes I know for me because I have "tried" it. I did not "allow" love to do anything and no I didn't have the upper hand in the matter. True love can make you work hard, love hard, strive for the same goals hard but love cannot make you happy if you are not happy with yourself. Many factors come into play here and you can love till your blue in the face..if you are not on the same accord in external matters in time if love does not fade it will turn into resentment.

The only thing that makes the differences stand out more is your SELF aka selfishness.

For you maybe..for me, no [/qb][/QUOTE]

I guess that's what make the difference between love on a one way street and mutual love then huh!?
See this is what I am talking about, the difference between when you love someone and when two people love each other. That is what we need to seek, not to find a person to marry but someone who loves you and whom you love enough to want to share your lives and loves and values together. And that might not necessarily mean that you both started out with the same values, but love paves the way for those things to happen, and will continue to be the buffer in all the difficult times in your lives together.

[jedi]

Re: For Some Single Ladies

Originally posted by CEW:
[qb]

Originally posted by Jedi:
[qb]...I might have mutually shared values with you but I wouldn't marry you. Which came first? I mean to say [img]/forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img] [/qb]

Actually, I am rather pleased you wouldn't though it is not something that would ever cross my mind [img]/forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img] .

Jedi:See you are taking it personally now. I meant *you* collectively

You're a trip! [img]/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

Jedi: I am, i'll admit it.

Anyways, I think we have taken full advantage of Queen's thread so you are on your own from here in onwards. [/qb]

I win?

[jedi]

Re: For Some Single Ladies

I just watched an excellent movie on the subject of marriages....If anyone has HBOOD or can rent this..."Lantana" it is an Australian film but it I think it really shows the reality of what happens in many marriages.

[coffeegyal]

Re: For Some Single Ladies

Yet another awesome thread from the F&R crowd!

CEW, I am one of the women who takes issue with the notion that women think more emotionally than men, even where love is concerned. In the work/school/outside the house world, I am much more clear, logical and analytical than many of the men I know.

In the arena of love, I have to say that when I finally found true love, it actually gave me an incredible sense of clarity and direction. My now-husband and I just suddently seemed to know exactly what we wanted and what steps we needed to take to get there. Without going into personal detail, we've developed much more responsibility and attention to things we'd both let slide in the past. Yes, love is emotional, but it doesn't always cloud one's vision.

[DC]

Re: For Some Single Ladies

Originally posted by coffeegyal:
In the arena of love, I have to say that when I finally found true love, it actually gave me an incredible sense of clarity and direction. My now-husband and I just suddently seemed to know exactly what we wanted and what steps we needed to take to get there. Without going into personal detail, we've developed much more responsibility and attention to things we'd both let slide in the past. Yes, love is emotional, but it doesn't always cloud one's vision.

Coffeegyal-I like this..

[accepted77]

Re: For Some Single Ladies

All's fair in love and war Shakespeare

Well not quite, there's now the Geneva Convention for war criminals and there's Divorce courts for and domestic abuse charges for the have-loved.

Still I find that the daunting divorce statistics being tossed around 55% for church folks seem not to take into consideration the changes in family laws, the resulting ease with with divorce decrees could now be had, the social empowerment of women and the societial norms that now except divorce and single parenthood, and most of all the religious stima that have been removed from those divorced. These and many more factors play into those statistics.

I want to look at a love story found in the bible that went wrong before I add my '2 cents' to the debate of emotions betwwen the sexes.

Gen 24:1 And Abraham was old, and well stricken in age: and the LORD had blessed Abraham in all things.
Gen 24:2 And Abraham said unto his eldest servant of his house, that ruled over all that he had, Put, I pray thee, thy hand under my thigh:
Gen 24:3 And I will make thee swear by the LORD, the God of heaven, and the God of the earth, that thou shalt not take a wife unto my son of the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I dwell:
Gen 24:4 But thou shalt go unto my country, and to my kindred, and take a wife unto my son Isaac
Now since God had promised Abraham that in him should all the families of the world be blessed this seem rather segregationist but after Abraham's blunder with Hagar in trying to help out the Lord it seems he realised God's timetable should not be trifled with.
Gen 24:7 The LORD God of heaven, which took me from my father's house, and from the land of my kindred, and which spake unto me, and that sware unto me, saying, Unto thy seed will I give this land; he shall send his angel before thee, and thou shalt take a wife unto my son from thence.
Genesis 24:4 But thou shalt go unto my country, and to my kindred, and take a wife unto my son Isaac.

So Isaac's choice was going to be done right it would be of the Lord.

The story develops in how the servants were to pick out the right girl.

Condition #1.Man chooses by sight God chooses by the heart.

She must show courage and humility and selflessness and pity, yes she had to fit a list of requirements.

Condition #2 A man who finds a woman finds a good thing

Notice however that as she approached Abraham's abode Isaac runs out to meet her and chooses the right girl out of her host of handmaids.

Condition #3 Husbands love your wives as christ loves the church and gave his own life for it

Genesis 24:67 And Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah's tent, and took Rebekah, and she became his wife; and he loved her: and Isaac was comforted after his mother's death

So we have all the right ingredients for happy-everaftering, but along came the Kids.

It seems even in this God-fearing family there were cracks in the fabric and a degree of disfunction was stepping in.
Genesis 25:28 And Isaac loved Esau, because he did eat of his venison: but Rebekah loved Jacob.

There was favouritism, and the kids knew it, Isaac fell into the same faults of his father Abraham, he made choices from his own reasoning, his wife started a rebellion against to preserve the will of God, for the angel had told her two nations are in her womb and the younger shall rule the elder.

Gen 26:34 And Esau was forty years old when he took to wife Judith the daughter of Beeri the Hittite, and Bashemath the daughter of Elon the Hittite:
Gen 26:35 Which were a grief of mind unto Isaac and to Rebekah.

The rebellion and lies and deception that followed continued in this family for generations.

My point divorce is not about wrong choices at the getgo, it about allowing a seed of bitterness to set root, all marriages be they God ordained or not, are subject to restrained anger, disgust,selfishness, partiality call it whatever name you may, be ye angry and sin not, let not the sun go down on your wrath.

Now to the debate.

King Ahab and Jezebel, Helen of Troy, Napolean and Josephine, women have led men throughout history and many are the worthy deeds done by men for the love of a woman. Not forgetting the many men who have been fooled by women throughout history and continue to be so swayed.

Silent River was right, this could also be written as Ms. Unmarried Christian and the brothers in the church.

I am going to steal Mutty's line here for a moment, one of the most frustrating things for a christian brother is to be that of a friend, 'friends' most times are the nice men that finish last.

In all women lie a seducer that most try their best to supress, she is awed by the animal desire a man shows for her, in Songs of Solomon this woman speaks out.

Most christian women struggle with this they want a man as romantic as any poster soap opera hulk but also want a man whose leadership qualities in the church are pronounced.

This duplicity can destroy the testimony of a lot of men because the women do not realise the pressure single men are under to supress the nature of the callous, a christian man must deny this nature to remain 'a man after God's own heart' and unlike a woman this nature can overwhelm him at any time. He must guard well his words as well as his heart.

Men are more physical than emotional in any relationship, we do not build fantasies about the future, we are in the main part pragmatic, we see something we want we go after it if the signals are right we persue, if the signals are wrong we move on. Well most do.

When a christian brother says no, he is for the most part straight up, in a church with an overabundance of females who as christians must wait till marriage to express their hidden desires, its is not wise to put on an act or act too foward. You will be misunderstood.

[jedi]

Re: For Some Single Ladies

(((Accepted))) good to see you. Excellent points. [img]/forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

[accepted77]

Re: For Some Single Ladies

Hello Jedi, I see Kumba is back as well, all is forgiven.

[jedi]

Re: For Some Single Ladies

Originally posted by accepted:
[qb] Hello Jedi, I see Kumba is back as well, all is forgiven. [/qb]

Glad to hear it same here. [img]/forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

[Vonnie]

Re: For Some Single Ladies

Queen, I scan the post and it just amazed me what some women goes to church for. I think most of the women who walks into a place of worship with such thoughts of finding a man rather then listen to and focusing on God and all the good things he has done for them is beyond me. As women we need trust God and we will and always will supply all our needs. Let go and Let GOD.

[Lala]

Re: For Some Single Ladies

Mi haffi eat mi weetabix first before mi can read dis long thread [img]/forums/images/graemlins/blush.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

It looks like a good discussion [img]/forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

[Diplomat]

Re: For Some Single Ladies

Originally posted by coffeegyal:
[qb] Yet another awesome thread from the F&R crowd!

CEW, I am one of the women who takes issue with the notion that women think more emotionally than men, even where love is concerned. In the work/school/outside the house world, I am much more clear, logical and analytical than many of the men I know. [/qb]

There are exceptions to every "rule" [img]/forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]