For Some Single Ladies

[jedi]

Re: For Some Single Ladies

It is possibly to really love someone, but because of the differences in positions on the real issues of life, the other variables, they may be literally impossible to live with.

Hmm!....I see.

[jedi]

Re: For Some Single Ladies

Oh before I forget another question for (((CEW))) [img]/forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

Are you married? If not have you been married before? If neither, are you engaged or are planning to get married soon?

[Queen]

Re: For Some Single Ladies

Originally posted by Jedi:
[qb] Oh before I forget another question for (((CEW))) [img]/forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

Are you married? If not have you been married before? If neither, are you engaged or are planning to get married soon? [/qb]

Hmmm....interesting questions...pulling up chair waiting for the answers.

[Diplomat]

Re: For Some Single Ladies

Originally posted by Jedi:
[qb] Oh before I forget another question for (((CEW))) [img]/forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

Are you married? If not have you been married before? If neither, are you engaged or are planning to get married soon? [/qb]

Lord, help me [img]/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] I am taking a pass on those except to say I am hopeful [img]/forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

[churchgirl]

Re: For Some Single Ladies

Queen may I make a copy of the story? Mi ha some frens weh mi waa share it wid [img]/forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img] . Mi gwey haffi play ketch up pan dis ting tonight cause bakkra wuk out fi deman mi life.

[jedi]

Re: For Some Single Ladies

Originally posted by CEW:
[qb]

Originally posted by Jedi:
[qb] Oh before I forget another question for (((CEW))) [img]/forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

Are you married? If not have you been married before? If neither, are you engaged or are planning to get married soon? [/qb]

Lord, help me [img]/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] I am taking a pass on those except to say I am hopeful [img]/forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img] [/qb]

Why pass? I am not trying to make a hit on you [img]/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] but I am trying to make a point and it all depends on how you respond so please shed some light. [img]/forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

[jedi]

Re: For Some Single Ladies

You know what scrap all of that let me ask you (((CEW))) point blank. Have you ever been in love?

[Queen]

Re: For Some Single Ladies

Go right ahead Churchgirl

[Diplomat]

Re: For Some Single Ladies

Originally posted by Jedi:
[qb] You know what scrap all of that let me ask you (((CEW))) point blank. Have you ever been in love? [/qb]

Yes I have... <tapping fingers and waiting>

[jedi]

Re: For Some Single Ladies

(((Queen))) it would also be interesting to get the input of other men on this discussion, because I see a certain thing emerging and I don't want to judge based on just the one male who has been in putting on this discussion.

[jedi]

Re: For Some Single Ladies

Originally posted by CEW:
[qb]

Originally posted by Jedi:
[qb] You know what scrap all of that let me ask you (((CEW))) point blank. Have you ever been in love? [/qb]

Yes, I have... [/qb]

What was it all about if it is not too personal can you share your experience of love with us? No intimate details but are you still with the one you love/loved? is that the person you are hopeful to marry? If not what caused the break up?

[Diplomat]

Re: For Some Single Ladies

Originally posted by Jedi:
[qb]...What was it all about if it is not too personal can you share your experience of love with us? No intimate details but are you still with the one you love/loved? is that the person you are hopeful to marry? If not what caused the break up? [/qb]

The things in my personal life will remain private, but what I can share with you is that I did not get to where I am overnight. I have made it my business to learn the dynamics of relationships, and there are lots of things I have learnt from failed relationships around me (no point in reinventing the wheel as far as mistakes go). In any relationship, it takes both persons to be committed to it for it to be successful and the chances of breakdowns are much higher if there is not a meeting of the minds on the things that are most important. I cannot get any more personal than that. I am however interested in knowing what you see "shaping up" from my responses so far.

[jedi]

Re: For Some Single Ladies

Originally posted by CEW:
[qb]

Originally posted by Jedi:
[qb[/qb]

The things in my personal life will remain private,

Jedi: Fair enough, I did say if it is not too personal to share.

but what I can share with you is that I did not get to where I am overnight.

Jedi: Neither did any of us, but I feel there is a difference in perception between men and women, let me hasten to say that, just in case you are feeling a bit on the defensive about my questions.

I have made it my business to learn the dynamics of relationships, and there are lots of things I have learnt from failed relationships around me (no point in reinventing the wheel as far as mistakes go).

Jedi: So you are saying that you have learned from others not so much yourself?

In any relationship, it takes both persons to be committed to it for it to be successful and the chances of breakdowns are much higher if there is not a meeting of the minds on the things that are most important.
Jedi: Agree

I cannot get any more personal than that.

Jedi: That isn't even personal at all

I am however interested in knowing what you see "shaping up" from my responses so far. [/QB]

Well based on your previous responses, I was prompted to ask you if you had ever been in love.
It would seem as though you have a checklist that you have checked over twice to make sure that you never make certain mistakes and that everything will be in the right and proper place when that day comes. And it is a wonderful idea. The only disagreement I have with you is where you place love in the equation. The foundation of every relationship is and has to be love. It is the reason why we enter into the marital contract in the first place. And if two people are truly in love they are willing to work out the differences even before the contract is signed, it is love that prompts us to have a meeting of our minds. However I have lived long enough and experienced enough to know that one thing is true, "love covers a multitude of sins". Another thing I have found is that when true love comes in all the differences disappear, and suddenly nothing else matters. You can never be overly cautious because you will end up spending a life time with your calculator trying to even up and sqaure away what does not fit into any perfect mold, in short you may never find a perfect match. There has to be room for error since we ourselves are prone to error and that is where love comes in.


What I would like to see is what other men think because I find myself leaning toward thinking that women fall in love with their hearts and men tend to be more calculating. But based on only what you have just said I don't think it would be fair to arrive at that conclusion just yet.

[Diplomat]

Re: For Some Single Ladies

Jedi: It is generally accepted that women tend to think on an emotional level, while men do so on a logical (some would argue, physical) level. I think it is safe to say that just about every relationship manual you could get your hand on will make that point.

Every relationship is different, but what I do think is that we define for ourselves the type of relationship we want to be in. Given that approximately 1 in 2 marriages will fail, it simply makes no sense to me for two people to go into it without clearly establishing a meeting of the minds on the things that are most important.

You said: "I have lived long enough and experienced enough to know that one thing is true, "love covers a multitude of sins". Another thing I have found. When true love comes in all the differences disappear, and suddenly nothing else matters", and all I can say is that I am not prepared to accept that simply because we love, all the other pieces automatically falls into place. If that was the case, then all relationships where people are supposedly in love with each other, should be successful. We know that is not the case. So when love in and of itself is not enough, it would be foolish for anyone to not take the other variables into consideration. No amount of love is going to make a financially irresponsible person any more responsible. On the contrary, that kind of stuff can lead to bankruptcy.

I do understand you are coming at this from a female (thinking with the emotions) perspective, but as a male and perhaps because every day in my job I have to be logical and analytical in problem solving, I tend to be a bit more logical (methodical) in approach [img]/forums/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img]

BTW, is there something wrong with figuring out what makes for a functional relationship, and going after those things?

Edited to add: It would be very interesting to hear what other females have to say on this specific point; i.e. male-female thinking and the approaches of the genders to relationships (emotional vs logical).

[sistagirl]

Re: For Some Single Ladies

Originally posted by Jedi:
Another thing I have found is that when true love comes in all the differences disappear, and suddenly nothing else matters.

I'm a woman and I disagree. That is a reason many women get hurt because they have unrealistic expectations.

True love does not conquer all, while true love may make you work harder on the differences you have in your relationship, it will not make your differences go away .....actually it makes the differences stand out more! LOL