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Re: Christian Women in Denial: Reactions are now Invited from Men
Personal insults always start the minute you rear your head!
Please, lets stick to the topic and leave the personal insults out of it.
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Re: Christian Women in Denial: Reactions are now Invited from Men
You may be white, but you are not blonde!Comment
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Re: Christian Women in Denial: Reactions are now Invited from Men
Tropi you are a "victim" in this particular situation only if you so designate yourself, so I don't buy the "blame the victim" argument either.
As a Black man out there, I can tell you that if I CHOOSE not to deal with a woman, any woman, I am in no way shape or form, "vicitmising" anyone.
But again, as I say, at some point, doesn't one at least consider, their own contribution to their situation ?Comment
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Re: Christian Women in Denial: Reactions are now Invited from Men
That doesn't matter, she only speaks to Jamaican Christian Women, apparently.Originally posted by Ivory:
[qb] You may be white, but you are not blonde! [/qb]
Silly thread, me gone! [img]/forums/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img]Comment
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Re: Christian Women in Denial: Reactions are now Invited from Men
It's because of smart aleck remarks and put downs like that one that I choose not to have ANY communication with you and certain other individuals. You have been on here MUCH longer than I have so I am sure you are quite familiar with an ignore list...well you have been on mine for some time.Or am I just pulling the covers off your theory, hmmm?
I trust that clarifies the matter. I have nothing further to say to you so stop asking me to answer you cause you will just get a defeaning silence from me.Comment
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Re: Christian Women in Denial: Reactions are now Invited from Men
Now can we pleae get back to the topic at hand and leave the personal insults and put downs for kindergarten children.
Thank you.
I will refresh your memory with a few quotes from the opening post for this thread. If you will recall I had described a conversation I had with a Jamaican man at church who is separated from his wife:
Let me make it clear to avoid further confusion (we have already had some confusion in this thread) that the men I am talking about are not Black or Jamaican.Somehow, we got onto the topic of dating and I indicated that a number of the Black Jamaican women I know were having a lot of problems w.r.t. dating as:
- it's difficult to meet Jamaican men who are Christians (see Pilot's thread)
- just because a man is Jamaican and Black does not automatically mean he is going to date a Jamaican woman
- and the White Christian men will (as a rule) not even consider dating a Black woman as a lot of them are a bunch of flippin' racists.
He said no way and appeared shocked (even though I have NEVER seen HIM with a Black woman). He then called his cousin over who has only recently started attending our church. She is a stunning Black, Jamaican woman and she is in her late thirties and single. He told her what I had said and asked her to tell me that it wasn't true.
Well, to make a long story short, she indicated that she had not perceived any problems. I said "Great. So I take it that you are dating on a regular basis." She then indicated that she could not tell when last she had a date as she won't date non-Christians and no Christian men have asked her out. She has been in Toronto for 4 years and has not had a date the whole time she has been here.
I was [img]/forums/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img] and asked "Then how can you say there is no problem?". She said "If the men are not showing an interest in me then clearly they are not God's choice for me." She then said that she was confident that God was capable of bringing the right man for her into her life when the time was right. I said "Not if all the committed SO CALLED Christian men are programmed to select women on the basis of Hollywood standards of beauty." I pointed out that men have a free will and God was not going to hit them over the head and force them to obey Him, choose women by Godly standards of internal beauty if they chose to let Hollywood and Madison Avenue dictate their preferences and discriminate on the basis of race to boot.
I pointed around the room and showed her that ALL the Blonde women were all with men (a lot of them were flaunting it) and that the Black women (except for some older couples who met and married in Jamaica) were all alone. Even the men who were Greek or Italain in origin and had dark features were married to or dating blondes. I then said this could not possibly be God's will for ALL the Black women to be alone and ALL the blonde women to have partners. She then responded that if the men had racial prejudices and hang-ups they were clearly not God's choice for her and that she was willing to wait on the Lord to bring her the right person and content to be single for the rest of her life if He didn't. I said to her cousin. "See what I mean. Our churches are filled with Jamaican women who think like your cousin....women who INSIST that there is no problem when they have no dates and who insist are content to be single and 'wait on the Lord' and here is yet another one."
I'm sorry I just don't get it. Maybe it's because I didn't grow up back home that I see things differently. I don't know. Why can't we get that there is nothing normal or natural about this situation? White women are not told to wait on the Lord and be content to be single. Why are we so quick to swallow that line? Even Christian books and magazines catering to White women focus on tips to attract the right man and keep him happy. Why are we in such denial? Why do we insist that there is no problem when our very eyes tell us things are out of whack? Sorry this is just not a normal way of thinking and I find it VERY [img]/forums/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img]Comment
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Re: Christian Women in Denial: Reactions are now Invited from Men
LOLOriginally posted by LINDA:
[qb] Or am I just pulling the covers off your theory, hmmm? [/qb]
what theory
Tropicana just looking for a reason why she can't get a date
misery loves company! as they sayComment
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Re: Christian Women in Denial: Reactions are now Invited from Men
(((JaBrowning)))
Fuddle Duddle!!
P.E.T.Comment
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Re: Christian Women in Denial: Reactions are now Invited from Men
I'm not on your ignore list Tropicana?Comment
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Re: Christian Women in Denial: Reactions are now Invited from Men
It's a conspiracy theory!Originally posted by JABrownin':
Tropicana just looking for a reason why she can't get a date.
Comment
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Re: Christian Women in Denial: Reactions are now Invited from Men
woieeeeee....ok class, today let us learn the abc's of racism from our resident expert. Let us get to the root of the problem as to why "single" men don't frequent single social functions. Let us learn why there is so much interacial dating and why some people cannot find dates...Comment
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Re: Christian Women in Denial: Reactions are now Invited from Men
Tropicana, let me review for you, a series of statements that you have made in this thread:
"There is a Black, Jamaican man who goes to my church....He does some dating but it is never with a Black woman always Chinese Jamaican women. I don't have a problem with that but I just want to make sure that the backdrop is clear and set the context for my conversation with him."
"...just because a man is Jamaican and Black does not automatically mean he is going to date a Jamaican woman"
".....my comments are not directed and have never been directed at Black men or Black Jamaican men."
"Let me make it clear to avoid further confusion (we have already had some confusion in this thread) that the men I am talking about are not Black or Jamaican."
I am now totally confused.Comment
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Re: Christian Women in Denial: Reactions are now Invited from Men
LOL!!!!Comment
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Re: Christian Women in Denial: Reactions are now Invited from Men
Tropi, I've been a Christian for quite some time, and I've been interested in marriage etc. the entire time. The interesting thing to me is, when I was actually "seeking" a mate, I couldn't find one to save my life. Don't get me wrong, they were there - in the church and outside. But none of these relationships/dates/whatever materialized into anything Godly and fulfilling. It was not until I became convinced that God would have to sort it out that I met a Godly man who was interested in me. I am in no way a Hollywood ideal, and I am a black Jamaican. As a christian, somethings are just not up to me. Not implying that God is going to hit me over the head when it comes time to make decisions, but He will make a way that I could never possibly conceive of.Originally posted by Tropicana:
[qb] Now can we pleae get back to the topic at hand and leave the personal insults and put downs for kindergarten children.
Thank you.
I will refresh your memory with a few quotes from the opening post for this thread. If you will recall I had described a conversation I had with a Jamaican man at church who is separated from his wife:
Let me make it clear to avoid further confusion (we have already had some confusion in this thread) that the men I am talking about are not Black or Jamaican. [/qb]Somehow, we got onto the topic of dating and I indicated that a number of the Black Jamaican women I know were having a lot of problems w.r.t. dating as:
- it's difficult to meet Jamaican men who are Christians (see Pilot's thread)
- just because a man is Jamaican and Black does not automatically mean he is going to date a Jamaican woman
- and the White Christian men will (as a rule) not even consider dating a Black woman as a lot of them are a bunch of flippin' racists.
He said no way and appeared shocked (even though I have NEVER seen HIM with a Black woman). He then called his cousin over who has only recently started attending our church. She is a stunning Black, Jamaican woman and she is in her late thirties and single. He told her what I had said and asked her to tell me that it wasn't true.
Well, to make a long story short, she indicated that she had not perceived any problems. I said "Great. So I take it that you are dating on a regular basis." She then indicated that she could not tell when last she had a date as she won't date non-Christians and no Christian men have asked her out. She has been in Toronto for 4 years and has not had a date the whole time she has been here.
I was [img]/forums/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img] and asked "Then how can you say there is no problem?". She said "If the men are not showing an interest in me then clearly they are not God's choice for me." She then said that she was confident that God was capable of bringing the right man for her into her life when the time was right. I said "Not if all the committed SO CALLED Christian men are programmed to select women on the basis of Hollywood standards of beauty." I pointed out that men have a free will and God was not going to hit them over the head and force them to obey Him, choose women by Godly standards of internal beauty if they chose to let Hollywood and Madison Avenue dictate their preferences and discriminate on the basis of race to boot.
I pointed around the room and showed her that ALL the Blonde women were all with men (a lot of them were flaunting it) and that the Black women (except for some older couples who met and married in Jamaica) were all alone. Even the men who were Greek or Italain in origin and had dark features were married to or dating blondes. I then said this could not possibly be God's will for ALL the Black women to be alone and ALL the blonde women to have partners. She then responded that if the men had racial prejudices and hang-ups they were clearly not God's choice for her and that she was willing to wait on the Lord to bring her the right person and content to be single for the rest of her life if He didn't. I said to her cousin. "See what I mean. Our churches are filled with Jamaican women who think like your cousin....women who INSIST that there is no problem when they have no dates and who insist are content to be single and 'wait on the Lord' and here is yet another one."
I'm sorry I just don't get it. Maybe it's because I didn't grow up back home that I see things differently. I don't know. Why can't we get that there is nothing normal or natural about this situation? White women are not told to wait on the Lord and be content to be single. Why are we so quick to swallow that line? Even Christian books and magazines catering to White women focus on tips to attract the right man and keep him happy. Why are we in such denial? Why do we insist that there is no problem when our very eyes tell us things are out of whack? Sorry this is just not a normal way of thinking and I find it VERY [img]/forums/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img]Comment
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Re: Christian Women in Denial: Reactions are now Invited from Men
Thank you Christian Sailor. I am glad that everyting eventually worked out for you. That is encouraging.
RollingCalf:
Let me break it down for you.
I was at a predominantly White evangelical church. There are No single Jamaican men in the church of any race. There are No single Black men of any nationality in the church. I was talking with a Black Jamaican man who is separated NOT single. We were discussing the problems that Black Jamaican women who attend predominantly White churches are having with respect to dating Christians who in this case happen to be White (since we are talking about predominantly White churches.)
He called his STUNNING Black Jamaican single Christian female cousin over. There are quite a number of STUNNING Black Jamaican single women at my church and none of them are dating except me as I have given up and started to date non-Christians. Oh actually there is one Black Christian woman (not Jamaican) at our church who is dating a Black Christian man. I asked her where she met him. She told me she met him on the subway.
Okay, are you with me so far? The cousin said that there was no problem. She then went on and admitted that:
1. She would like to date
2. She has not had a date in at least 4 years since moving to Toronto
3. She has never been asked out on a date by a Christian since moving to Toronto (she also does not know any Christian men who are Black and Jamaican.)
4. She will not date non-Christians (although she has been asked out by non-Christians)
5. She is content to be single and wait on the Lord to bring her a Christian man
This discussion left me confused. I have had similar discussions with other Black Jamaican women.
So, to re-cap. The conversation was with two Black Jamaicans. I am also Black Jamaican. The discussion was about the fact that one hardly finds a Black Jamaican man in these premoninantly White churches and White Christian men in these predominantly White churches will not even consider dating a Black women.
I have no idea why few Black single men attend these churches as there are a fair number of Black single women in attendance. I have observed this pattern in churches all over the greater Toronto area (that is a backdrop to this thread not the focus). Pilot has another thread going about Black men and church attendance and dahjah did one a few months ago which is still in the archives.
The focus of THIS thread is that I don't understand why the women are saying there is no problem when by their own admission they would like to date Christians and are not being asked out by Christians (who happen to be White in this case cause that is who happens to be around). To me that seems like denial. I was asking women to help me understand this and to understand the content to be single and wait on the Lord part because I am having trouble understanding or relating to that.
I hope that this clears up the context and purpose of this discussion.
(By the way, her cousin - the Black Jamaican man who is separated from his Chinese Jamaican wife - could not fix either of us up as he knows some Jamaican men who are single but he also does not know any Jamaican single men who are Christians. Perhaps he should start inviting them to church [img]/forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img] )Comment
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