Re: How has life bin...For you to live in your Black skin...OURSTORY
Nancy, did you parents ever accept your daughters? It must have been tough at times.
Trop
Yes. My parents have both passed away now, but they were accepted with open arms. Their grandchildren meant alot to them.
:love:
My oldest daughter had it ruff in an all white school, being called "brillo head" etc. there were 100% Italian children attending there. I had issues with some of her teachers, but after I went up to school and demanded respect for her, it got better.
My youngest daughter being 10 years younger never had problems in school with the name calling issue, but being their skin complexions were different....and they attended different schools, that, had alot to do with it.
Re: How has life bin...For you to live in your Black skin...OURSTORY
King,
Yes at that time I was single, the engagement ring had been off for about a year I think. Anyway he was so much older than me and my first. Like yourself he was a muscian and martial arts as well, and very face to face with the Black Movement. He trained in Nicaragua and even protested for the harsh treatment that some of them were going through. I was dragged to so many Black Progressive meetings, one of the things that attracted me so much to him was he was very comfortable in his black skin and very verbal about it. He had even played his drums at a demonstration with the group named Sweet Honey and The Rock. I can see you two getting along no problem.
He did march in the Million Man March, too bad he marched a little too much for women too. That"s another couple of chapters in my life
Re: How has life bin...For you to live in your Black skin...OURSTORY
Originally posted by Tropicana:
[qb]
UKroots Originally Posted:
The hair stories - 'hair bear bunch', dating - though I never, ever found them attractive enough to worry about it;
So were you just not interested in dating at that stage of your life? How did you deal with this and what were you going to do? Did things ever work out for you? When did you start dating?
The first guy who ever asked me out was Jewish and I was about 18 at the time. Then, a Jamaican guy who went to our church briefly took me out a few times but eventually just dropped out of site. I didn't really start dating regularly till the summer I turned 21 and the guys were all Jamaican. I met them by going to parties and dances with the friend I mentioned earlier who taught me how to dance reggae. None of them were Christians. I have never had any luck with Christian men. [/qb]
Sis, not that I wasn't interested, my bad ole' yardie mother mek sure nobody would look mi(aged 14/15, big dutty plaits, unfashionable clothes etc.) [img]/forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]
Seriously; I could never see anything in caucasian boys that to sweet me. Still don't and I'm all grown up now. If, a few years earlier they were teasing me about my ancestry, then why would they want me? What for? Of course, black became sexy eventually and it was cool to have a black partner, still is I suppose, but due to the caucasian mind-set, I'm not going to make anyone feel superior. Funnier thing, though all my schoolfriends were white, I always knew I was different, in a positive way. I never felt influenced by them, in my youth, I had the black MJ posters on my wall and did not compromise my culture for theirs. I read black literature avidly before it became fashionable and my thinking was shaped whilst very young. In my youthful arrogance, I felt superior because I knew that really, wanted to be like me.
I do think, that being a first generation born in England is different to coming here as a child. You really know them for what they are and have NO illusions, any such they are burnt by your teens. Or you turn into a buffoon, subject of their ridicule and revulsion.
No matter what, if black people know themselves and stop using their measures to gauge our own success we will be able to move forward. Really, who cares what they think? You don't even need to dislike them, just realise that whatever the benefits we think we gain are not for us. As Marcus said, everything they say or do is to promote themselves and downgrade black people. They have to. So don't let them get you down.
Re: How has life bin...For you to live in your Black skin...OURSTORY
Originally posted by Tropicana:
[qb]
UKroots Originally Posted:
The hair stories - 'hair bear bunch', dating - though I never, ever found them attractive enough to worry about it;
So were you just not interested in dating at that stage of your life? How did you deal with this and what were you going to do? Did things ever work out for you? When did you start dating?
The first guy who ever asked me out was Jewish and I was about 18 at the time. Then, a Jamaican guy who went to our church briefly took me out a few times but eventually just dropped out of site. I didn't really start dating regularly till the summer I turned 21 and the guys were all Jamaican. I met them by going to parties and dances with the friend I mentioned earlier who taught me how to dance reggae. None of them were Christians. I have never had any luck with Christian men. [/qb]
Tropi, you sound so much like me I was suppose to get married to my long time christian friend at 18 but when my mom got a whiff of that I was whisked off to college. It was in college where I started to branch out and met at 22 my first older guy. My mother thought he was too worldly and told him to his face he was too old [img]/forums/images/graemlins/blush.gif[/img] After she met him the christian guy didn't look that bad to her but by then I was too worldly for him. [img]/forums/images/graemlins/704555_dwl.gif[/img] My grandmother always thought going dating was for preparing for marriage so that was a no no
Re: How has life bin...For you to live in your Black skin...OURSTORY
Originally posted by NancyJ:
[qb] coons...boy that brings back memories fi me.
My family (mother, father, grandfather, aunts and uncles) were prejudiced and that's why I rebelled.
That was a fav word for my father to use when referring to people of color. I hated it.
It started in Jr High school for me, when the school was putting on a talent show. My friends were predominantly black. We were practicing a dance routine to a song and the teacher that was holding the talent show, happened to mention to my sister that I had alot of black friends. So of course she brought the story home to my parents. Boy was I in trouble. My father started to rant and rave about coons etc., my mother started crying and my sister laughed. Questions I asked, like "why" ? weren't answered. There was no reason "its just the way it is" was the answer I got and I wasn't going for it. That began my rebellion years back in the day.
Well I'm 39 "again ?" this year and still goin strong. I raised 2 beautiful daughters of color and I've bucked the system since I was 11.
You learn thru the years to recognize and avoid
people that have any racist views or comments. You stand up for whats right and put people in their place when you have to.
You bring up your children to not carry the family taught racism forward, hoping for a better world and a greater understanding of what people have been thru and ARE going thru in this life.
King...thanks for this thread. [/qb]
Yes Nancy thanks for sharing it validates these words are not just some made up stuff. Like you in school, I had a good white friend named Debbie, well she fell in love with a black guy and I can remember my Food Service teacher turning red when she found this out. My friend asked me what she should do and I told her to marry the guy if she really loved him, he was a nice quiet guy and very friendly. My teacher tried to take her aside and talk some sense into her, she told me everything ! They ran away and got married, her family stopped talking to her, and the last time I heard they are still married. [img]/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]
Re: How has life bin...For you to live in your Black skin...OURSTORY
Originally posted by ukroots:
[qb]
Originally posted by Tropicana:
[qb]
UKroots Originally Posted:
The hair stories - 'hair bear bunch', dating - though I never, ever found them attractive enough to worry about it;
So were you just not interested in dating at that stage of your life? How did you deal with this and what were you going to do? Did things ever work out for you? When did you start dating?
The first guy who ever asked me out was Jewish and I was about 18 at the time. Then, a Jamaican guy who went to our church briefly took me out a few times but eventually just dropped out of site. I didn't really start dating regularly till the summer I turned 21 and the guys were all Jamaican. I met them by going to parties and dances with the friend I mentioned earlier who taught me how to dance reggae. None of them were Christians. I have never had any luck with Christian men. [/qb]
Sis, not that I wasn't interested, my bad ole' yardie mother mek sure nobody would look mi(aged 14/15, big dutty plaits, unfashionable clothes etc.) [img]/forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]
Seriously; I could never see anything in caucasian boys that to sweet me. Still don't and I'm all grown up now. If, a few years earlier they were teasing me about my ancestry, then why would they want me? What for? Of course, black became sexy eventually and it was cool to have a black partner, still is I suppose, but due to the caucasian mind-set, I'm not going to make anyone feel superior. Funnier thing, though all my schoolfriends were white, I always knew I was different, in a positive way. I never felt influenced by them, in my youth, I had the black MJ posters on my wall and did not compromise my culture for theirs. I read black literature avidly before it became fashionable and my thinking was shaped whilst very young. In my youthful arrogance, I felt superior because I knew that really, wanted to be like me.
I do think, that being a first generation born in England is different to coming here as a child. You really know them for what they are and have NO illusions, any such they are burnt by your teens. Or you turn into a buffoon, subject of their ridicule and revulsion.
No matter what, if black people know themselves and stop using their measures to gauge our own success we will be able to move forward. Really, who cares what they think? You don't even need to dislike them, just realise that whatever the benefits we think we gain are not for us. As Marcus said, everything they say or do is to promote themselves and downgrade black people. They have to. So don't let them get you down.
Irie [/qb]
that's another thing i find interesting, forgive me for seeming naive, but in jamaica ppl in general are not so conscious about race as to read 'black books' with black power photos on the wall. u r a man or a woman. a teen or an adult(or child) poor or comfortable. race is a btw issue.
i've watched documentaries and films of blacks in north america, but i never got it as much as i do now.
one guy said to me the other day"I cant beleive u listen to soft rock music. are u not from jamaica?"
Re: How has life bin...For you to live in your Black skin...OURSTORY
You're so funny Boopie with the too wordly for him bit [img]/forums/images/graemlins/704555_dwl.gif[/img]
JamaicaDye...you said it, Canada is a trip. Check out the Black Canadian Heritage Trail thread for the LONG history of discrimination against Black people in this country. If you ever have a chance, speak with some Asian Canadians whose parents have been here for generations. Even people in their mid to late thirties who grew up in some of these small redneck towns will tell you HORROR stories and the incident I related about the N word being scratched into a Black person's car and the KKK showing up at the door of a man who a letter to the editor about the incident happened JUST TWO years ago. In many parts of Canada, this stuff is shoved under the rug. I think that some who migrated here as adults really do let the smiles fool you. If you ever want an eye opener, talk to some light skinned Blacks up here..I am talking about people who you would never know had a Black parent or grandparent unless they told you. Since peopel don't realize that they are Black, they will say things that would never come out of thier mouths around someon who they KNOW is Black. The bottom line is that it is still in their hearts and influencing their decisions.
I do think, that being a first generation born in England is different to coming here as a child. You really know them for what they are and have NO illusions
I think that Canada is different in that way. I think that some Black people DO have illusions. Who wants to upset the apple cart when, on the surface, everyone can just pretend that everthing is going smoothly.
Having grown up here, that is why whenever I hear a Black person who has migrated here as an adult say "I am proud to be Canadian" it makes me cringe....honestly I just want to puke. Notice I never participate in the Canada Day threads. Take time to study the history of this country and you may sing a different tune. I stopped going to a prayer meeting because of a Jamaican woman who was like that. After a while she rose to a leadership position and I knew that there was NO point in fighting her. She kept referring to Canada as a Godly nation and praying and thanking God for sending the White man to rescue her ancestors from witchcraft and obeah...can you imagine? She even called on Black people to repent of the sin of not having positive attitudes towards White people. Never ONCE did she call the White men in the room on their discrimination against Black women when it came to dating or the dicrimination against Blacks in the business world (this was a prayer meeting for business people). I just gave up and stopped going. Too bad really as it was one of the only racially mixed Christian groups I knew of with a fair number of Black people and a style of worship to which I could relate.
Re: How has life bin...For you to live in your Black skin...OURSTORY
Originally posted by NancyJ:
[qb] coons...boy that brings back memories fi me.
My family (mother, father, grandfather, aunts and uncles) were prejudiced and that's why I rebelled.
That was a fav word for my father to use when referring to people of color. I hated it.
It started in Jr High school for me, when the school was putting on a talent show. My friends were predominantly black. We were practicing a dance routine to a song and the teacher that was holding the talent show, happened to mention to my sister that I had alot of black friends. So of course she brought the story home to my parents. Boy was I in trouble. My father started to rant and rave about coons etc., my mother started crying and my sister laughed. Questions I asked, like "why" ? weren't answered. There was no reason "its just the way it is" was the answer I got and I wasn't going for it. That began my rebellion years back in the day.
Well I'm 39 "again ?" this year and still goin strong. I raised 2 beautiful daughters of color and I've bucked the system since I was 11.
You learn thru the years to recognize and avoid
people that have any racist views or comments. You stand up for whats right and put people in their place when you have to.
You bring up your children to not carry the family taught racism forward, hoping for a better world and a greater understanding of what people have been thru and ARE going thru in this life.
King...thanks for this thread. [/qb]
Yes Nancy thanks for sharing it validates these words are not just some made up stuff. Like you in school, I had a good white friend named Debbie, well she fell in love with a black guy and I can remember my Food Service teacher turning red when she found this out. My friend asked me what she should do and I told her to marry the guy if she really loved him, he was a nice quiet guy and very friendly. My teacher tried to take her aside and talk some sense into her, she told me everything ! They ran away and got married, her family stopped talking to her, and the last time I heard they are still married. [img]/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]
Re: How has life bin...For you to live in your Black skin...OURSTORY
Originally posted by JamaicaDaye:
]that's another thing i find interesting, forgive me for seeming naive, but in jamaica ppl in general are not so conscious about race as to read 'black books' with black power photos on the wall. u r a man or a woman. a teen or an adult(or child) poor or comfortable. race is a btw issue.
I agree and it REALLY bugs me. It was a HUGE disappointment when I finally DID start to meet more of my people. In fact, it really hurts. At times it comes across as a lack of empathy towards what African Americans or Black people who have been raised in North America or the UK have experienced. It's like I don't know, I don't care, I don't want to know. When I attended university in the states for a while I found that the Jamaicans and other West Indians on campus were disliked for that reason. I was one of the few who had African American friends. I could never understandt it.
i've watched documentaries and films of blacks in north america, but i never got it as much as i do now.
I guess it's hard to "get it" until one lives it but I think that we should at least care enough to listen to each others stories and TRY to emphatize with each others pain. That is sadly lacking in our community. I do hope that threads like this will pave the way for greater understanding, empathy and mutual support.
Re: How has life bin...For you to live in your Black skin...OURSTORY
Originally Posted by Boopie:
Like you in school, I had a good white friend named Debbie, well she fell in love with a black guy and I can remember my Food Service teacher turning red when she found this out.
Man you are bringing back memories. I remember this girl, I will call her Joan. I knew her at college. We were part of the same Bible Camp/IVCF/Christian crowd I talked about earlier. She was part of the group of friends I used to hang out with. Well I never saw her again after college but one day, one of the older Jamaican women who started attending my church when I was at University spoke to me about her. I can't remember where she had run into her but apparently the woman had a guilty conscience about some of what had gone down and she was trying to locate my sister and me to apologize. I honestly can't recall if we ever connected.
Apparently, she had gone to visit her cousins who had moved to the US and she was shocked because they were living in the southern states and were in an environment where they felt free to give full expression to their racism. They had kept it hidden when they lived in Canada. She was totally shocked and it made her realize how badly her and the rest of her crowd had treated my sister and me. She had become involved in a prison ministry and last I heard she had fallen in love with and married one of the prisoners who was Black. Don't have a clue whatever became of her.
Re: How has life bin...For you to live in your Black skin...OURSTORY
very race conscious north americans do get dissapointed when they find that even with bob marley and reggae, we dont go out of our way to show our 'blackness'. we are who we are. people.
I understand, but i cant say i emphatise. In jamaica, there is not a big 'victim' culture there. i cant say "get over it" either. if it's your reality then u may respond they way you see fit. at the same time, north americans cant expect blacks from jamaica to be like them. that's asking too much of someone who was never braught up in such an environment.
all we can do, is try and understand each other. we are the same, yet very different.
Re: How has life bin...For you to live in your Black skin...OURSTORY
I agree with you JamaicaDye and, at times, I have expected WAY too much empathy from people who couldn't possibly understand my reality as they haven't shared it or lived it. I guess the key is a willingness to understand each other...that's where it all starts.
Re: How has life bin...For you to live in your Black skin...OURSTORY
Dis post is an eye opener.
One thing doe, I think would be remise if we dont open wi arm to wi white (or caucasian) breddas and sister who also faced the struggle. The mixed, because dem something caught between two world. At least we can beat up wi chest and say "Wi Black and Proud!".. but what about those who sometime stop and wonder "whey do I belong?/"
If mi got mi history right. Bob Marley's father was a white english ship captian (Nesta Marley).. Between Nesta and.. (whey Bob Madda name again ??) Cedella?? And with the influence of the Jamaican culture (a must add) they have produced one of the most influencial messengers of our time.
Personally, mi come a Canada not knowing racism, and mi would love to leave here same way.
Its just a waste of mi energies to have to deal with it.. especially since mi dont understand it.
How mi see it.. a One love to all .. white, chineese, black, indians.. as long as unno a try fi meck dis place betta.. Jah richest blessings.
Re: How has life bin...For you to live in your Black skin...OURSTORY
Originally posted by Xks:
[qb] Dis post is an eye opener.
One thing doe, I think would be remise if we dont open wi arm to wi white (or caucasian) breddas and sister who also faced the struggle. The mixed, because dem something caught between two world. At least we can beat up wi chest and say "Wi Black and Proud!".. but what about those who sometime stop and wonder "whey do I belong?/"
If mi got mi history right. Bob Marley's father was a white english ship captian (Nesta Marley).. Between Nesta and.. (whey Bob Madda name again ??) Cedella?? And with the influence of the Jamaican culture (a must add) they have produced one of the most influencial messengers of our time.
Personally, mi come a Canada not knowing racism, and mi would love to leave here same way.
Its just a waste of mi energies to have to deal with it.. especially since mi dont understand it.
How mi see it.. a One love to all .. white, chineese, black, indians.. as long as unno a try fi meck dis place betta.. Jah richest blessings. [/qb]
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I used to hang out with. Well I never saw her again after college but one day, one of the older Jamaican women who started attending my church when I was at University spoke to me about her. I can't remember where she had run into her but apparently the woman had a guilty conscience about some of what had gone down and she was trying to locate my sister and me to apologize. I honestly can't recall if we ever connected. 
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