women traveling in jamaica

[Redj]

Re: women traveling in jamaica

Hey Geo, you just slay me. You devil

"If you don't have 2 girls, make one up...!!!"

You are indeed an bad bad boy, but then girls, do like a bad boy, cause they make you feel so GOOD.

[img]/forums/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]

[brownie2]

Re: women traveling in jamaica

Geo, there is a problem with your formula: You are a male dealing with females. Us females couldn't get away with your "plan" because we would be dealing with the male ego! The male ego will kill all involved based on principal whether he is interested in any of the females involved or not. We would be messing with their manhood!

I would like to thank everyone for contributing your opinions and various situations. I would have been very grateful and alot more cautious if I had this information before my first trip to Jamaica.

[sistacaf]

Re: women traveling in jamaica

SIGH. [img]/forums/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]

Oh for cryin out freakin loud. I am a 20+ years-seasoned world traveler, have lived farrin for years at a time (farrin to my own USA soil that is) on 3 different continents, and so far can hang no matter what kine trouble I've come across; as well as having been to Jamaica already- but yeesh! sure wasn't the same then as it seems to be now, and this is all beginning to really bug me.

Don't get me wrong, this ain't about the true ppl tryna make a living - I love em, love to check art/craft/wares/tours, etc. & have big respect for family wage-earners, enjoy meetin and hangin and making true friendships. There is some real talent & great folks to meet and hang with, ats what travel is all about.
But apparently dese rastitute gigolos is ruining it for everyone and making it a big chore of sorting out who's legit and whose just tryna get over while we spozed to be on holiday - not watchin our back de whole dyam time. Although yuh can generally tell who's good ppl and who's not, still, one short week isn't enough time to get to REALLY know, especially if dese boyz is professionals at gettin over, and wi fightin off every Tom, Dick & Bunny tryna play us.
Wit all dis ish a gwaan how we EVER gonna have fun and jus hang? I can handle most men no matter how ridiculous it gets, I just don't wanna HAVE TO.
That don sound like no kinda fun to me if i gonna hafi fight for my likkle bit of peace on the beach.

Ugh

At this point I'm just glad I booked SamSara cause I feeling like nuh wanna go nowhere near that beach if I tryna have some peaceful relax without playing stupid games with the beachbwoys.

Well, neva mind, mebbe I jus gonna stay up inna caves on the cliffs and eat lotta good food an swim!

[trelawnysmall]

Re: women traveling in jamaica

Geo- I hear what you are saying. If you know the rules & you choose to sit in on the game, then it's all good. You have found what you are lookiing for & have decided to play.

The one thing I see about your advice to women, as far as playing the Jamaican men is that I never hear of stories where a woman has played several men & she got away with it.

I never hear of women who walk with machett in hand, just to remind their man that if they dare step out of line with their woman or give their woman any impression that he may even have another woman at hand, that this works.

I have though heard of many, many men who walk with machett or knife to keep their woman in line. I hear from women who are accused of keeping a lover, when actually they are at work or caring for their children.

So Geo, with all respect to what works for you, I don't see this as a healthy way for women to live or to play when they come to Jamaica.

Even though you & I may not agree with each other's lifstyle, when reading your posts, I perceive you to be a kind & generous man, with needs. You have found what works for you.

Originally posted by geocox:
[qb]WOW!! Ladies: I found that coming down alone is the way for me; why? I discovered the women I Was shocked, I wasn't looking for a relationship, I wanted satisfaction and I found that, But!! When I got back to phoenix the calls started, "GarrrGA~ why ya nebar call me? Why ya nebar call me baK??
I felt that someone really liked me, so I went to westernunion.Ugh Big mistake. I wasn't special, I was vulnerable and naive.
I had just been with this girl that I always wanted in college, she wouldn't give me the time of day ,Now she was calling me everyday. I booked another trip! Bang I was really into the romance.
Than I got some fantastic advice from Jamlover. I met another girl who told me how Jamaican women were. Hell, she was a dancer at Close Encounters and she was helping me understand how to work the Jamaican situation. One night I met the girl of my dreams, the prom Queen,2 nights and days of heaven I was, hooked.
The other girl came back and told me to switch and see what happens. So that night I went out found a familiar face and we went to the Bird for fun. 2 hours later my door was banging, yelling, screaming. Bim the night man was standing with his machete 10 feet away for "MY" protection.
I am with this woman for 5 trips now and I do have another woman.
I think if you can have several lovers, the girls (or guys) will stay in line because they know one mistake there history.(Jamlover advice) Jamaican men do this.
Now Ladies you need to work it as the men do, have more than one, "let the men know you are doing this". Keep the men in mystery of who the other is and If you don't have one; invent him. This works.
Now I still get the phone calls, average 3 per week, 2-3 different women. But November 29th I will be back and the women don't know If THEY will be the one. I still make mistakes but since there are 2 of them I feel I'm safe from romance, till December. Geo[/qb]

[geocox]

Re: women traveling in jamaica

Well I still think the discussion was about how to have a good time and not get your self played?? I have been played and now I'm in-de-driver-seat.
Men are just like women when It comes this...The conversation is; you just get here? how long you here for?,when are you leaving? This sets up the (girls or guys) approach.
The women In Jamaica are on there own from 12, the men close to that. They plan there daily lives unless there is the GCE?? Unless there graduated. Than there life will be much different.
I know an educated girl in Kingston, I have to call her, she's working on her life and its a good one; she will be a success. This is the girl I'm trying to find but "we" are there such a short time its not easy to do as T-smalls did. You were very lucky to find and keep a good man.
I have women trying to get Plywood out of me; yes Plywood. The last girl before Sanya told me all this BS but she's looking for me (FOOD) to help her and I will. Plywood ah! yes the old plywood scam. Well I looked and found her house an damn she did need, JUST plywood .
Now Sanya wants me to build her a house? But send the MU~NEE to her mom so she can get it built!Oh Geo!!
Well I'm just there for 14 nights in December well see; I'm having the time of my life. Yes I'm in love but not nutty over HER or the others, just looking forward to the next time. g

[MissMention]

Re: women traveling in jamaica

Here's some light reading for those planning a trip... [img]/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] Diary Of A Gigalo

[Redj]

Re: women traveling in jamaica

I would think that women playing the game as Geo describes would be in a very dangerous situation. Believe it or not, there are many woman, that are not allowed OUT of their yard. And may the lord have mercy on them, if they did venture out. Corporal punishment from husbands is VERY common too.
As Tsmall said, the weapons that are carried, are not always for protection, they are to hurt too.
It seems to me that some men live to the motto: "Do as I say, BUT not as I do".
And that is a fact !!

[Tiger Eye]

Re: women traveling in jamaica

wow, that is my first time reading the diary. i was sick to my stomach at the parts that were my voice many years ago. i do wish i had read these type of things years ago. there are too many consistencies in the game to ignore them...regardless of your race or gender.

i understand where geocox's post is coming from, but i personally wouldnt take the approach of playing more than one man. i wouldnt do that at home and i sure as hell wouldnt do it in jamaica! i do think it is important to see that the men can get played just as well as the women.

queenb, i hate to think that youre right in saying that this wouldnt even be a topic of discussion if so many white women werent going down and getting played by jamaican men. i disagree because i dont want to believe it. (ok, i realize this is not a strong case on my part but i felt impelled to share.) maybe i have my head in the sand and maybe it is simply ignorance on my part. it took me a day to come to the realization that you may be right and i need to shut up about it. i will say that i dont like it.

i can only hope that we have planted seeds in the minds of "green ones." yes, green ones. i have a friend that is a self-professed gigolo. he told me one of his tricks, which i will gladly share with you, and admits that he prefers the women that are new to jamaica & that have not had any previous jamaican boyfriends. **trick: if you come back to see me, i can get you the jamaican rate; tourists pay more for things. the only thing is, i have to go pay the bill at the end of the stay. p.s.- he tacks on $10.us per day for himself, obviously without telling her. she actually pays the same price she would have paid if she had gone on her own, actually more because she has to sport his a** all week. all the while he sells her the notion that he is saving her money all week...and could she leave him a few dollars because all the time he spent with her (you know, saving her money), he lost business. and if you buy "us" a car, we will save money on taxis!

i cant help but change the direction slightly to another point made in a separate post ...the fact that intelligent, attractive, young, and funny women just dont get any attention at home. {{{what is going on?}}} this adds to the problem considerably. i wouldnt blame any woman for getting intimate with a man in jamaica, even after reading all of this, because after all we need love, in whatever sense of the word you need that to mean, whether real, imaginary, or sexual, dammit! [img]/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

if in the future, after reading this, someone hears *ding, ding, ding* - those are bells going off, bells not to be ignored! be smart. i dont want to put someone on the spotlight here so i wont mention any names [img]/forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img] ... i met a woman who has a man that is a good one. we say, "she is lucky." i say it is no coincidence since she is smart, has been around the block, and putting up with bullsh*t is no longer an option in her life. so dont fall for the luck hype...rely instead on your mind, not your heart, or other body parts. [img]/forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

[Nanook]

Re: women traveling in jamaica

I agree with those that say "not to play that game"...but I don't believe in "games" anyway.

T-Small was right on when she said :
So Geo, with all respect to what works for you, I don't see this as a healthy way for women to live or to play when they come to Jamaica.

This has been an interesting thread, all I can add is there is no universal situation. What is someones experience is thiers. Unfortunatly for some, there are more sad stories than happy ones, BUT...to be fair, there are also plenty happy stories also.

But apparently dese rastitute gigolos is ruining it for everyone and making it a big chore of sorting out who's legit and whose just tryna get over while we spozed to be on holiday - not watchin our back de whole dyam time. Although yuh can generally tell who's good ppl and who's not, still, one short week isn't enough time to get to REALLY know, especially if dese boyz is professionals at gettin over, and wi fightin off every Tom, Dick & Bunny tryna play us.

Sistacaf, I honestly don't know what to tell you. You didn't say when you are going but times have been slow and the hustlers on the each from what I have been hearing have been especially aggressive of late. You should still be able to have a nice time on the beach, and your awareness of the problem will ge your guide. One place I go alone and am never hassled on the beach is Irie Vibes. Alfreds is another place I go alone alot. Nice music, cheap drinks at Irie Vibes, good food and music at Alfreds. Night alone is another hurdle. I used to do that alone but stopped some time ago, but then you mentioned "we", so just go have a good time and just keep "aware". I am going in mid october and plan on doing a couple beach days (I stay in Little Bay), and I will go hang at Irie Vibes and Alfreds because I KNOW I can hang there and never be bothered.

[sistacaf]

Re: women traveling in jamaica

Greets IM,

I'm goin Sept 5-11, with my best friend. She nevah been JA, but lived in Africa out in the bush for 2 years, so she has some idea of what's what. Now, we definitely not prudes - but we also not stupid. And have no intention of havin any sex with any o dem boys. We love LOOKIN at em, and dancing wit em - but dats all, and yes, we hopin our experience and awareness will keep it cool for us, and that dey catch our drift if we hafi start kissin teeth at em, we nuh wanna hafi get nastee to mek a point!
Thanks for your thoughts and suggestions, cause mi really nuh wan deal wit it at all. good to know a few spots I can jus hang and cool.

I too mus quote T-Smalls and take it one step further "I don't see this as a healthy way for women to live or to play" ANYWHERE, EVER. .

Mi nuh wan play OR be played. Cyaan stan it in any form. Hate to fine myself stuck in that kind of stupid game, would rather jus live real.

Good thread everyone ..... [img]/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

[Motown]

Re: women traveling in jamaica

I just had a minute to check the board...and I found this thread!!
(There goes my minute theory.)
Riz,
This thread alone is going to make a difference for many women travelers. I thought I had read a lot and done my homework before my first trip...but my eyes were opening wider and wider as I read everyone's stories in this post...and I ain't even read Miss Mention's 'Gigilos Diary' yet...almost scared to look!
I guess I am really lucky to have had the benefit of this site and all of its' combined wisdom and experience BEFORE I ever even got on that plane!
Telling our stories...good or bad will only save some other woman from making the same type of mistakes. I think it is very generous and courageous to tell the world how you 'got took' if only to help someone else stay safer. The input from the guys is invaluable also...how different the rules are for the sexes? Not fair...but very true.
All in all, such a sad situation when young, hopeful...maybe even sweet at one time men, have no better options for their fuure than to hustle old, white (or brown or yellow or whatever..)women for a living...or maybe just a meal and new tennis shoes. They may pretend that they are 'players' and 'gigilos'...but like prostitution everywhere, it must take its' toll on their souls as well.
Reading this board...AND a long, honest talk with Sienna while down there...really did save me from a lot of unnessesary grief. Once I understood why these guys turn to such desperate measures (little opportunity elsewhere and planeloads of tourist women that play right into the game), I found it very difficult to resent or even get angry with these guys. Like Riz and others have said, just watch and learn. The rastatutes and players can turn into valuable friends once they see that you are not in the market. But it did take time before they trusted me. (About five mornings at Barry's making it evident that I was looking for conversation and coffee...not LOVE, and I found myslef being 'accepted' as more of a sister/friend than as a potential target.)
Thanks Riz for starting this...should be a regular column somewhere! I know, how about a 'Dear Sienna' column? I never saw anyone handle the beach and it's characters/runnings quite the way she did! Very subtle...yet firm! Very compassionate...but smart! She's been traveling alone for years and to way worse places than Negril and has done just fine. (Nick even said he would never mess with her...but he couldn't put his finger on why?)
"No, she's not scary...she's really, really nice. She's just like one of those teachers that you KNOW not to try any BS with!"
Guess even little men can smell brains and confidence...and that seems to be our best defense in the long run.
Great thread!
Respect,
S

[Ochigal]

Re: women traveling in jamaica

Motown,

YOu have to take a minute (or 10) and read "Diary". Not just for the message....but cause its a great read. Funny and very well written.

And you are so true when you say that once these guys know your not going to get played...they can be a good friend. Thats what makes them different...they will try to play you but when they realize thay cant, they respect you even more and can be a great friend and a protector.

Check out Diary when you get the time...you will enjoy it and laugh alot.

ONE LOVE!

[sammy]

Re: women traveling in jamaica

Originally posted by MissMention:
[qb]Here's some light reading for those planning a trip... [img]/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] Diary Of A Gigalo[/qb]

miss mention this dairy is something else....thank you for the link!!!

[Marilyn]

Re: women traveling in jamaica

Just to talk about the flip side of the coin for a minute.... There are some people I know of...Sienna, Libby, Trelawmy Small...Mrs. Rankin.. A little English lady who married a cute little Limbo dancer (name I don't know) who also was a stilt walking advertisement for Mr. Slice Pizza..... and on and on... who made it through the maze to what I hope will be for all of them a happily ever after.
Trelawny.. in your own words, you met this man where? IN A CLUB. you later ran into him several times where...ON THE STREET IN MOBAY. I don't know how Libby and Chef met, but it is a sure bet they met somewhere. Sienna and Sala met at a BAR he was working at where she was hanging out at the time.
None of these meetings took place in the public library or in the church choir loft. They all occured in some of those places where the rest of us mere mortals might be. SO what is the difference. Well it seems that these ladies have it all together and I think in all cases took a lot of time to get to know the guy.
So getting to know someone in a country not your own usually means that someone has to travel/visit/call. Sounds like somebody spent some money somewhere. In everyone's words, they took YEARS in this process before they made the big move. That's fine too, and wise....even commendable.
So what is my point. #1-Love here or there or anywhere is taking a chance with your heart and all of the resources you have to give.
#2 Men here or there may not be honest/sincere/really in love with you, only time will tell.
#3 If someone else is "worthy" of winning the lottery, why not me?
As for the person who said some of us took "How Stella Got Her Groove Back" way too seriously could it possibly be because the real Stella, the author Terri Mc Millan, ended up marrying her WInston and they are still together as we speak.
Do I think I am just as special as she is? You bet.
To be honest I really don't care if my eventual soul mate is Jamaican or Japanese, Lord just send him before I forget how to do it.
Men in Jamaica, like men anywhere do not come with "This one is a good one, a safe one, a sincere one, a honest one, stamped on their foreheads. Don't sell the farm or mortgage the house your first two weeks together, but don't mess around listening to all this gloom and doom and miss out on something that might be good too.

[sistacaf]

Re: women traveling in jamaica

*WHEW*

oh THANK YOU Motown and Ochi!! for the thoughts you shared in those posts. [img]/forums/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

You have just replaced my recently developed annoyance with restored excitement for my upcoming trip- was beginning to wonda if Negril had changed TOO much since I been dere 13 years ago and everything I been telling my bes fren all this time is jus wrong, or had disappeared .... now am glad to read that still possible to be good/see good/walk good.

--thanks to everyone for contributing to this important and informative thread! I've learned a lot....

jah bless,

-caf

Edited to add
PS, Marilyn -- Bravo, bravo! Well said! <gallery erupting in spontaneous applause> [img]/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]