women traveling in jamaica

[Tiger Eye]

Re: women traveling in jamaica

Originally posted by Marilyn:
[qb]Don't sell the farm or mortgage the house your first two weeks together, but don't mess around listening to all this gloom and doom and miss out on something that might be good too.[/qb]

yes, i agree. i would be lying if i said i have given up on jamaican men. i would be lying if i said i havent personally experienced and been witness to respectful, loving, and balanced relationships between jamaicans and foreigners. it is definitely possible.

my only hope in starting this thread was not to start a smear campaign against all jamaican men, but to school some of the newcomers on the basics. i have found that a lot of women's tales of gloom & doom had similarities even when the men were completely different. i spoke to a tearful woman recently and after she told me her story, i kept asking, "Are you sure his name isn't so-n-so?"

the biggest misconception i had early on was that i believed this is how it is in jamaica; this is how things run.. now i know, only if you let it.

Originally posted by Ochigal:
[qb]
And you are so true when you say that once these guys know your not going to get played...they can be a good friend. Thats what makes them different...they will try to play you but when they realize thay cant, they respect you even more and can be a great friend and a protector.
ONE LOVE![/qb]

and if a relationship should become of a friendship that has developed over time, what better foundation for it than mutual respect?

[geocox]

Re: women traveling in jamaica

My mind is reeling over this subject. It seams I'm the only mail voice amongst these lovely, inelegant, special, sexie,truly amazing women.
I know some of you have been successful with Jamaican men. Others not so happy, but not used or played, just satisfied. So your going back to see what happens next. Some just want to watch and see the movie.
I find the conversations from the men similar to the conversations I get from the girls. I have been to Sanyas house and seen the way she lives. I give her grandmother money when I'm there, bring kids clothing when I go down. I send MU~nee when I feel its needed. BUT I don't give money for company! That stopped and the requests stopped when we were together the second time. If I count the contributions, there much smaller than my first trips and the OTHER girls.
I find the company I get the reason I go back. To have a fried in Jamaica that I sleep with and expectance special things with like The Donkey Darby, All night Dance contests in a Jamaican town from midnight to dawn. Late night beach walks, Jacuzzi under the stars at 3am. Trust: money left on the table that's there in the morning.
A second girl started with the Donkey Darby event, we met another girl I had dated at the DD. Well Sanya just maid a fried of her, invited her over to spend the night,nuf said,WOW !
Now I have 2 girls, one is new, I think this does keep the control in my pocket. Men would be different but I know keeping up the mystery is the way it works,keeping the thought that If they lye to you, you will replace them.
Girls I think you can do the same, you cant let them know where you will go and with whom but be direct tell them; Lie to me you are gone!! geo

[queenb]

Re: women traveling in jamaica

Originally posted by Marilyn:
...Lord just send him before I forget how to do it.

MARILYN, THIS IS JUST WHAT I SAY!!! [img]/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

Men in Jamaica, like men anywhere do not come with "This one is a good one, a safe one, a sincere one, a honest one, stamped on their foreheads. Don't sell the farm or mortgage the house your first two weeks together, but don't mess around listening to all this gloom and doom and miss out on something that might be good too.

It takes time to really know anyone, but if the person is of a different culture and maybe a different race, it's going to take that much longer to get in sync. I've known my man for over 2 years, but we're still working our way through cultural/values/lifestyle differences.

[brownie2]

Re: women traveling in jamaica

Marilyn your words were beautiflly written! Your acronym of hitting the lottery is probably the smmary of the entire post: On a whim you buy a lottery ticket. Walking past the TV you think you saw the numbers on your ticket so your run hysterically to the nearest merchant to cash that ticket in only to find that you were 3 digits off! Now you are deflated and mope all the way home. Does that stop you from buying another ticket in the future? Probably not but it does stop you from getting too excited before checking out the ticket very closely before you go running off again!

Just to add the flip side to my story, all though my husband and I aren't working out. That doesn't mean that he was a bad guy and was only out to come to the states, it just means that we didn't take the time to know one another for if we had, we would have known that we had too many differences too be able to live together! There are some good men in Jamaica. There are alot of good men in Jamaica but there are some pretty bad ones too! I would say the first indicator as to whether you have a good one or not is: Does he have a job? and is that job more important than spending the day on the beach with you? If spending time with you is more important than making making money (when you first meet)...you probably don't have one of the good ones.

[jkstrw2]

Re: women traveling in jamaica

very interesting post and comments. all i can say to everyone is please be very careful, and think before you leap. besides the emotional grief a bad experience can cause, the physical problems(i'm sure everyone knows what i'm referring to)that can result will be with you forever. peace, jack straw.

[MBR64]

Re: women traveling in jamaica

Hello all - this is good reading, sorry, interesting reading after writing technical reports all day at work. Just chillun have a beer while I read everyone's post's (after a few beers, spellink might not be so gewd).

Anyhow, been to maybe 4 or 5 Islands other than Jamaica (been to Negril in 1998), work in a "big city", and live in a "college town" near the big city in USA, and have seen it all. Believe me, men up here can be just as bad as men anywhere (me = male, feel like minority in forum, so don't bash me too bad). I have/had many male friends (some now fall in the category of what many of you, including my wife, would call "jerks" in the "G" rated version). Point is, there is a lot of good advice in these posts, and I truly think there will be newcomers to Jamaica who will/are learning much good information here. Keep it coming!

The one question I might ask, since I have only been to Negril once prior, is it "ok" for my wife to venture out without me "clinging" to her side? We are both relatively "street-smart" in the US, however not really experienced in Jamaica. Since we both like to hang out with people that we may meet, should I somehow make it "clear" that my wife is with me before she may head out shopping or going to get a coffee alone, etc? My wife tends to be very outgoing (she is in sales), and likes to just "chill" with people that she meets, and I just want to get some opinions on what type of people she might come across. Last time we befriended a few people we met up in the cliff's area, and i really hope they are still around. I seem to have a knack for telling when soemone is being honest versus not being honest. I think it sounds like Sala might be a good person to "hang" with and getting good "local" tips on who is who, even though we have never met him yet. Also, I just have a feeling my wife would get along great with Sienna, even though I have no idea who she is, but just reading all the posts, I just have a feeling (is Sienna "with", "married" to Sala?).

Uh oh, someone drank my beer?!? Gotta go.

take care all,
mbr [img]/forums/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img]

[Motown]

Re: women traveling in jamaica

OK...I read the diary. 'Bout scared the life out of me!!! I wasn't sure how it was going to end...great writer!
MB...I noticed that Jamaican guys really respect marraige and couples in general. Much to my chagrin in some cases...a few guys must have thought that my traveling buddy, Gregory, was my husband because they got up and quietly walked away whenever Greg would bustle over and plop down in a lounge chair by me. (An American man and a couple of Italian men didn't seem to care if another guy was there or not?) Just my observation...but Jamaican men seemd almost old-fashioned in this way? I thought it was nice.
Can't wait to hear how you both like the cliffs.
S.

[MissMention]

Re: women traveling in jamaica

I understand what Marilyn and some of the others are saying about not tarring all Jamaican men with the same brush, but think about it, it's not the success stories we are worried about, it's preventing people from getting hurt and how to distinguish the riff raff from the good quality stuff.I do not think anyone here means this thread as an attack on Jamaican men.....I personally make no apologies for my preference for Jamaican men in fact I wouldn't consider dating someone who wasn't Jamaican or at least from a similar culture....There are some wonderful Jamaican men out there, in fact the problem with Jamaican men they are too darn attracive, too easy to love....However, if a man a woman on hoiday meets is in fact a good one, then all this 'suspicion' from us should just make the relationship stronger as he will have 'passed' the tests set.

Geo, I am seriously considering using you as a model to a sequel to my 'Diary of A Gigalo'...the central character being a tourist who reverses roles [img]/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]
Just joking lol....I actually think the only reason you are the way you are is you've been burnt and thini there's safety in numbers, don't worry Geo, soon a girl will steal your heart and you'll stop this nonsense [img]/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

[MissMention]

Re: women traveling in jamaica

,

[Tiger Eye]

Re: women traveling in jamaica

Originally posted by Motown:
[qb]I noticed that Jamaican guys really respect marraige and couples in general. [/qb]

yes, they will respect your attachment while he is present. [img]/forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img] they will also let you know how special you are just as soon as the opportunity arises. this doesnt mean you have to be glued to the hip of your partner. basically when she walks down the beach or road she can expect to be told she is beautiful, special, sent from heaven, etc. or, she may simply get a psssssssssssssssssssssst. she wont be touched, grabbed, or in danger. most of us are used to it and dont feel threatened by it. i dont take it seriously but at the same time i do allow my ego to soak just a little of it up to get me through the attention drought back home. [img]/forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img] lol these are just harmless attempts to make a quick sell. i do wonder if this actually works on women. {no, my downfall has always been with the men that hang around the yard that i do, and not the ones that try to get you with a 2-second line in passing.} those "pick up lines" (do they still call them that?) can actually be highly entertaining & amusing. i have been known to LOL.

in all of my 12 years of going down there, i cant think of many cases that crossed the line. when they ask where i am staying, who i came down with, or if i am married, i lie. i am not rude and i often smile but keep walking because i find the men dont feel like keeping up with me and they know another cutie will soon be coming by soon. (i am specifically referring to my walks on the beach & in town). ***hint: wear a walkman and keep it low enough to hear what is going on around you but pretend you dont hear a thing! [img]/forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img] i have even worn a walkman and kept it off.***

last but not least, the two important words here are (i hope i can write this!)...cock block! if youve got that, whether local or tourist, youre good. many local men do this without you even realizing it. just by talking to you theyre sending a message to other men around that theyve claimed their property. before long youre referred to as so-and-so's wife. i used to be honored by this title but i know now it is given out quite freely and not worth what it is at home.

[diridora]

Re: women traveling in jamaica

I have been pondering this issue since my first visit to Jamaica last November. I was lucky to have a pleasant experience, but did observe that there was a game and found myself in it quickly. My travel friend and I were befriended by a couple of Jamaican women our first day there, also a male friend that worked next door. We hung out the whole vacation and learned some of the ropes from them. I felt safe.
I thankyou for the information in this thread. I know that Negril will be a vacation spot for me in the years to come and appreciate learning this now. I love the trip reports and hope to meet some of you people in my travels. I too work in a school, so the vacations are during prime time. I am planning to be there for New Years this year. Thank you again for all the fine reading, that I enjoy, daily. I hope that I will have some wisdom to share in the future.
Thankyou, thankyou, thankyou.

[fOrTyLeGz]

Re: women traveling in jamaica

A fascinating thread with plenty of honest writing.

When I was living up on the beach it became very clear that this romance drama was one of the main BUSINESSES going down in Negril. It's work for a large percent of guys on the beach, and they are busy busy busy winning hearts, which equals money and opportunity.

[geocox]

Re: women traveling in jamaica

The Gigolos and girls have there place in Las Vegas, New Orleans, San Francisco, many other US cities. Nowhere are they as open and "good looking" as in Jamaica.Look at M photos and mine.The mental part of the relationships I think is as others have said we're all adults and in our own back yard we may have the same things going on.
But in 6-14 nights as a tourist I want everything to happen. I know as a man I can do allot that women cant. Marilyn is living my life in Jamaica and not having a bad time at all. She may be farther ahead of me now, this last trip seams to be "sin cityish". I wish I could have spent more time getting to know her, she seamed full of fun and very smart.
But at the time I had my own woman problems that are not strictly Jamaican. I could be in Phoenix with a girl who just didn't want to participate in the outside fun.
The other Board ladies I met briefly and they to were not having a bad time at all. They know how to have fun in Jamaica as do I. I might get that piece of land and put the house on It with my .......in it. One would be a fool to not contemplate such a move when MY happiness seams to come when I land on the Island.
If you need a ego boost this is the place.
I didn't need one, I was just looking for relaxation and a place to get away from business..geo

[Guest]

Re: women traveling in jamaica

I agree with much of what has been said re using common sense, and if you wouldn't do it at home maybe you shouldn't do it on vacation.

I just hate to feed in to the stereo type that ALL American women go to Ja looking for bamboo. that's not why I go / I can get it here in Boston , thank you.

It also doesn't boost my ego to know that men are hitting on me hoping to get paid.

[Tiger Eye]

Re: women traveling in jamaica

Originally posted by Jamaica dreamin:
[qb]I just hate to feed in to the stereo type that ALL American women go to Ja looking for bamboo. [/qb]

this thread was not intended to suggested that ALL women were looking for bamboo, nor are ALL jamaican men living the lifestyle that is depicted here. i started it with the intention of sharing my personal experience and opinion, in hope that others can be aware of what can go on. i believe that it is worth exploring other peoples similiar experiences. like anything, you take what you need & leave the rest. that whole "grain of salt" thing definitely applies. i felt a certain amount of trepidation in starting this topic because i didnt want to step on any toes, since it is a sensitive subject. my concern for other women's welfare outweighed it though. i chose my words carefully and apologize for offending anyone.

Originally posted by Jamaica dreamin:
[qb]It also doesn't boost my ego to know that men are hitting on me hoping to get paid.[/qb]

i meant this in a very light-hearted way to make the point that i dont feel threatened by the men. i also prefaced the comment with that i dont take it seriously. and aw hell, sometimes it is nice to hear youre beautiful even when you know youre not. [img]/forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img] is this a crime?

i wanted to respond to your post because i felt the need to clarify my end of it. i respect your opinion and think it is a good thing that you joined in. i wanted it to be a discussion with people from different angles of it sharing their perspective. this is not a one-dimensional issue.