When You Fall Out of Love With A Place

[Nanook]

Re: When You Fall Out of Love With A Place

True what you say dr. Dudd. But those things contribute to what this topic is about, which is when the rose colored glasses come off and a person falls out of love with a place. Any place is susceptible. Hey, I live in a tourist area and the tourists don't see the underbelly unless they start to like it here and spend more time. Then they might see people living/freezing to death under the freeway bridges and run across the street people/higglers.

In Global Girls blog(the topic inspiration,)she describes falling out of love with Negril after moving there last winter. Some can relate. Some still choose to wear the glasses. Some do what they can to try to make things better in spite of what they know. Others move on.

It's criminal what is being done to Jamaica by things such as the world bank and a host of other issues! There is no doubt about that!

[Dr.Dudd]

Re: When You Fall Out of Love With A Place

My problem is that all these things that are wrong can easily be change. But nobody is looking at the cause they are all distracted by the effects.They are like a deer standing and steering in the headlights. So ti speak. Every time i write about the cause all and sundry make fun at it, but they are always bellyaching about the effects.

[Marilyn]

Re: When You Fall Out of Love With A Place

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Nanook</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I used to love Jamaica, but it's turned to drugs, scams and Murders for nothing at all except what you worked so hard all your life for. JMHO</div></div>

Coming up on the one year anniversary of the day Uncle Sam and his girlfriend went missing and are presumed murdered I happen to agree with this wholeheartedly.

Marilyn, if I were you I would get the heck out of there too. That is not the way to live! Up here in God's country we don't even know where our house keys are. Most people leave their keys in the cars in their yard.

I don't know anyone who locks their doors! </div></div>

Nan
after 57 years of conditioning I'd be to paranoid to leave things unlocked, even up there in God's country.

[jaith2]

Re: When You Fall Out of Love With A Place

it's ok marilyn....i live in south God's country &amp; i lock my doors....&amp; my car too, even though all they could steal from it are my recycle grocery bags....

[jaith2]

Re: When You Fall Out of Love With A Place

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Dr.Dudd</div><div class="ubbcode-body">My problem is that all these things that are wrong can easily be change. But nobody is looking at the cause they are all distracted by the effects.They are like a deer standing and steering in the headlights. So ti speak. Every time i write about the cause all and sundry make fun at it, but they are always bellyaching about the effects. </div></div>


i hear what you say doc.....your posts are an example. you make a good point &amp; invariably, someone points out the spelling errors

[rie]

Re: When You Fall Out of Love With A Place

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Dr.Dudd</div><div class="ubbcode-body">My problem is that all these things that are wrong can easily be change. But nobody is looking at the cause they are all distracted by the effects.They are like a deer standing and steering in the headlights. So ti speak. Every time i write about the cause all and sundry make fun at it, but they are always bellyaching about the effects. </div></div>

Sir Doctor,
You can not easily change that Jamaica has the 3rd highest murder rate in the world. You or I can not change the poverty of the country. No one can change the 'runnings' in Negril, Ohci, or Montego Bay. When tourists arrive, they are like a deer staring into a headlight because it all seems so new and wonderful. They do not see how women are really degraded. They don't see how the wife stays at home so the husband can go out and hustle the tourists for a dollar. They don't see how the wife will stay away from her own yard so the tourist can come in and build up a home on land that she or he has no title to. It goes for the women too. Their own husbands put them up to it.

I have yet to see homes in the u built like fort knox. Yes in very bad neighborhoods I have seen gates on business, but not on homes.

I live in a community full of Jamaicans and thier motto is &quot;if they can't help me, me have no use for them&quot;.

It has been 6 years since I went to Jamaica. My house has improved and I have been able to buy a new car, buy a rental house, fix up almost everything I have because I fell out of love with Jamaica.

[Nylah]

Re: When You Fall Out of Love With A Place



IMHO, I kinda think you are missing oc's point. Yes, what ails JA could be easily changed but there is no political will to do so. All the things that make you fall out of JA are due to the poverty and despersation that is there. Those behaviours have a source.......

I guess what sits under my skin as an irritant about this article, is who told her to fall in love in the first place? Shine and new?

Anywhere that isnt home is shiny and new to me...but naivete is never on the bill. If you are well travelle you can love a place but still see the reality of it. Sorry, no pity for those who wear blinders about JA or another place they &quot;fall&quot; in love with.



*<span style="font-style: italic">let's see how many will not get what I mean</span>*

[jaith2]

Re: When You Fall Out of Love With A Place

i &quot;fell in love&quot; with jamaica on my first trip.....i hope to retire there soon because i choose to love it now.

i haven't been thrilled with ja all the time i've spent there...but i've always been aware that i always have had the option to fly back &quot;home&quot;.....when i've run out of money, i knew i could head north &amp; easily replenish. so i always knew i didn't know the poverty &amp; desperation that could lead to certain behaviors. the poorest people in the us have a backup system that the poor jamaican can only dream about....if they can even dream....

[rie]

Re: When You Fall Out of Love With A Place

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: jaith2</div><div class="ubbcode-body">i &quot;fell in love&quot; with jamaica on my first trip.....i hope to retire there soon because i choose to love it now.

i haven't been thrilled with ja all the time i've spent there...but i've always been aware that i always have had the option to fly back &quot;home&quot;.....when i've run out of money, i knew i could head north &amp; easily replenish. so i always knew i didn't know the poverty &amp; desperation that could lead to certain behaviors. the poorest people in the us have a backup system that the poor jamaican can only dream about....if they can even dream.... </div></div>


Did/Have you ever tried to live there for 6 months? It might be a good idea, before you give up your home in the north. Especailly since you are not always thrilled when you come home.

Jamaicans do have back up. Every town has a place that baby mothers go get food vouchers for thier children. They have clinics that charge 20J last time I was there. They have a family courthouse in evey parish, That women go to get support and they serve the man papers for his children just as they do here. Only now since the episode of The Bold and the Beautiful are the men willing to pay for DNA tests in case he believe's he's be given a jacket

No they might not have big dreams because of the poverty, but don't kid yourself there is help out there for the needy.

My rose colored glasses are long gone. If and when I see Port Antonio I hope to be blessed with a nice tourist/relaxing time.

And wish you jaith2 many blessings in your retirement.

One last note EVERY COUNTRY HAS PROBLEMS RIGHT NOW! So I will follow what an elder Rasta man told me some 30 years ago, &quot;It's how you live your life sistren and do it so that Jah nah look down pon you , Live that he may rejoice in you.&quot;

[jaith2]

Re: When You Fall Out of Love With A Place

tishamae....the longest stretch i've done is 3 months....but i have no house up north to give up...i simplified long ago. &amp; i have no expectation to be thrilled no matter where i go....thrills are fleeting.

i just don't understand why people go somewhere expecting paradise &amp; are then bitter when they don't experience it. &amp; proceed to badmouth a place (&amp; people) because it didn't meet their expectations.

[Nanook]

Re: When You Fall Out of Love With A Place

I don't necessarily see anyone being bitter here. Some people do find out different than their expectations but the reality check is just that. Speaking only for myself, I never had any irie expectations. I knew where I was going and the running's of the place long before I ever set foot on the island from a friend who I went with when we landed in Alligator Pond back when. The whole of the Island has changed since then. Nothing remains the same, that is the only constant.

[trelawnysmall]

Re: When You Fall Out of Love With A Place

So many things to consider, many aspects of living anywhere, when thinking about falling in or out of love with a country, town or community of people.

I have been living in Jamaica for several years now. My take on life in Jamaica has changed many times over. Some days I love it, others days I hate it, others days I am satisfied and happy right where I am.

I certainly can say that my rose colored glasses were misplaced several years ago. With all that I've been through, reality of what I have chosen and the life I have created for myself, I certainly know the reality of life in the communities I have lived in and there's the good and the bad.

Until the last 6 months, I have always slept with my doors and windows open, enjoying the sea breeze at night. I do have grills on all of my doors and windows and they always remained locked. Recently there was an intrusion in my community that brought me to the conclusion that I need to lock up the doors at night. But my windows remain open.

I relocated to Jamaica to be with my husband, it wasn't for the opportunity to live in 'paradise'. I come from the Bay Area and that is paradise for many, and I had a very good life there.

What I know is that I always have the opportunity to go home, back to the US. Any day I feel like packing my bags and walking, there are several flights I can hop on.

It's a choice some of us make. There is a time for everything, and this has been my home for the past few years. It may not be my home forever, I don't believe it will be. People who choose to move here, come for many different reasons. Some for love, some seeking paradise, some to escape, but for me, a sense of paradise is something one holds within ones self.

I love Ja Jewel's tag, &quot;Jamaica, nothing is as is seems&quot;.
To me that best describes what most peoples experiences are once they've given up being a tourist and decide to live here.

I certainly understand where the poster is coming from when stating 'Falling Out Of Love&quot; but I really wish people would embrace the choices they make in life and most importantly come to understand that there is no place perfect on earth and what 'paradise' represents to me, is not what I will find on the outside.

I respect the poster for taking the challenge, finding the courage to make a move rather then sticking to a career which she was not feeling passionate about. She took a chance, embraced the experience, only to find it wasn't what she had expected.

Such is life, we all have disappointments.

It's give and take, to have this little life of mine living on the seaside, there is a price I pay. To live in the US in a different kind of community and to have the opportunities to enjoy what is offered to me there, that's a different price to pay.

Make choices based on what you need in your life and embrace that choice, it may not be for everyone but it may be right for you in this time.

[Marilyn]

Re: When You Fall Out of Love With A Place

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Nylah</div><div class="ubbcode-body">

IMHO, I kinda think you are missing oc's point. Yes, what ails JA could be easily changed but there is no political will to do so. All the things that make you fall out of JA are due to the poverty and despersation that is there. Those behaviours have a source.......

I guess what sits under my skin as an irritant about this article, is who told her to fall in love in the first place? Shine and new?

Anywhere that isnt home is shiny and new to me...but naivete is never on the bill. If you are well travelle you can love a place but still see the reality of it. Sorry, no pity for those who wear blinders about JA or another place they &quot;fall&quot; in love with.



*<span style="font-style: italic">let's see how many will not get what I mean</span>* </div></div>

I get you

[Marilyn]

Re: When You Fall Out of Love With A Place

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: jaith2</div><div class="ubbcode-body">tishamae....the longest stretch i've done is 3 months....but i have no house up north to give up...i simplified long ago. &amp; i have no expectation to be thrilled no matter where i go....thrills are fleeting.

i just don't understand why people go somewhere expecting paradise &amp; are then bitter when they don't experience it. &amp; proceed to badmouth a place (&amp; people) because it didn't meet their expectations. </div></div>

[schultz]

Re: When You Fall Out of Love With A Place

Nice response T-Small.