I Ehat My Mom!

[Tulip]

Re: I Ehat My Mom!

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: HIELPEE</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I must be honest. I worry about this all the time, as it concerns BabygirlA. We've been through so much over the years and dont get me wrong her mother has done some FOR REAL egregious things (IMHO). However, I dunno...as bad as some of those things are/were...I've always drawn the line in the sand with BabygirlA that that lady is her mother (good, bad, and worse) and that fact will never change.

It's been calm, praise God , as BabygirlA has used school to distance herself from her mother. Not much communication has occurred since the name change and the habaloo that preceded it. I do catch BabygirlA drifting off into her mind sometimes. Her eyes are always so sad, but resolved. When she does share, she simply says, &quot;Thinking about (insert sister's name here).&quot; It breaks my heart. When I suggest that perhaps she should reach out...she just says, &quot;I haven't figured that out yet.&quot;

It's the long term...the long term. I understood so much more about my relationship with my mother AFTER I had Hunter. I just worry about BabygirlA's future (in that aspect) if she doesn't at least make peace with things. </div></div>

That sounds very complicated ILP.

I am sure having a child opens your eyes in ways I could not imagine.

BabyGirlA sounds wise beyond her years though. I know grown folks who won't admit that they &quot;haven't figured that out yet'. For whatever and all is going on over there, you must be doing something right.

[Tulip]

Re: I Ehat My Mom!

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Twiney</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Our ILP has grown up! This is a really hard one and there is no excuse for mothers exploiting there children in any way shape or form but of course I cant imagine hating my mother! </div></div>

I cannot imagine it either Also, we had a good relationship when I was growing up and have one now as well.

The most strife we had was between the time I realized that my parents were not perfect and resolving that it was ok or (gasp) normal. I'm more ok with it than she is lol. I don't think she ever got past believing that everything her mother told her was right so she cannot understand why we are so different in many ways but that's another topic altogether.

[Jazz]

Re: I Ehat My Mom!

I remember sometimes after I get a hot beating from Mama I used to go round the side of the house and whisper to the wall and say:

&quot;I hate her, I cyaan stand har and I wish something bad would happen to me and then she would be sorry that she beat mi so hard&quot;

But I valued my life and the thought of actually saying that aloud to her never crossed my mind... that likkle chiney woman nevva ramp to fling lick.

plus a few minutes later I loved her to no ends again

in the above scenarios though - that is real hate and I can understand why they hate their Moms... a woman should know and understand how forced relations degrade and victimize a woman and to force your girl child through that - the oe that you are supposed to protect and shield from those things - that is the ultimate betrayal

[Tulip]

Re: I Ehat My Mom!

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Jazz</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I remember sometimes after I get a hot beating from Mama I used to go round the side of the house and whisper to the wall and say:

<span style="font-weight: bold">&quot;I hate her, I cyaan stand har and I wish something bad would happen to me and then she would be sorry that she beat mi so hard&quot;
</span>
But I valued my life and the thought of actually saying that aloud to her never crossed my mind... that likkle chiney woman nevva ramp to fling lick.

plus a few minutes later I loved her to no ends again

in the above scenarios though - that is real hate and I can understand why they hate their Moms... a woman should know and understand how forced relations degrade and victimize a woman and to force your girl child through that - the oe that you are supposed to protect and shield from those things - that is the ultimate betrayal </div></div>

I think we have all been guilty of quietly having that rant as a child. I even remember D.L. Hughley doing a comedic skit about it. That's why my jaw dropped when KF said he said it to her face. He's got kahunas!

Betrayal is a heck of a thing. I had been pondering to myself whether I consider those mothers' treatment of their daughters betrayal or blatant abuse. Maybe it's both. I am definitely becoming more forgiving as I get older, but I show no signs of being able to get over what I consider betrayal from anyone.