Selfish oomens who decide to breed widdout a husban

[britisha]

Re: Selfish oomens who decide to breed widdout a husban

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Gone_Clear_ILP</div><div class="ubbcode-body">

The terms this person (that I had to read 4 times before I figured out that it wasn’t skelly ) used int relation to themselves. Terms like:

1. I was angry
2. I was jealous
3. I am a freak
4. I am not whole
5. I am alone
6. No one to talk to

Now don’t get me wrong, this person feels what they feel and they are entitled to those feelings. My question is: Where was her mother or the adult in her life to console her that she wasn’t any of the #1-6 that I listed above?

It is normal child/teenage psychological development (yes, mi know likkle bit bout dis topics as it is required for me to keep my license) for children/teenagers to feel inadequate, angry, jealous, alienated for one thing or another. What is supposed to happen is that children/teenagers are to have an adult to console them and remind them that they are OK, that they are not inadequate, angry, alienated, etc. It is when these things DON’T happen that children turn out to be maladjusted adults.

I am glad that this person made contact with there father. I am sure however, that for every story like theirs, I can find one to argue the opposite.

Anyhow…mi done wid this…good discussion.
</div></div>

No, no dun yet, your comments are very interesting and raise some important questions as well.

I agree with you that there should be at least one adult around to comfort the child in all this, this is my assuming that the channels of communication were open...for we know how adolescents can be &quot;private&quot; and only talk with their peers mostly.


This is the whole point, ILP, if childhood and adolescence can be so traumatic for the average child in a very many cases, how much more when the child is born under circumstances that don't fit the mold?

I personally believe that some of these women are shrouded in secrecy about these pregnancies, and so don't share, reach out to support systems, again for selfish reasons, and the child suffers in the long run. Now, this is a personal opinion.

[julie*mango]

Re: Selfish oomens who decide to breed widdout a husban

and since you are in this thread what have you to say? <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: dahJahPawtTwo</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: britisha</div><div class="ubbcode-body">..<span style="font-weight: bold">mi nat talking bout dem.</span> Mi know bout women whose husbans or boyfirnds died, <span style="font-weight: bold">mi nat talking bout dem eidah..</span>

What am I missing?


<span style="font-weight: bold">Mi nat saying...</span> that society can regulate ppl's lives, or tel dem wha ffi duh, an <span style="font-weight: bold">mi nat saying</span> dere are NO problems in 2 parent families wid di kids eidah.. but yuh git dah jrift, no?

</div></div>

is a hole heap a tings yuh nah seh ar yuh nah talk bout </div></div>

[britisha]

Re: Selfish oomens who decide to breed widdout a husban

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Twiny</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Not that I am saying I agree with single women deciding that they want to have children via AI or adopting or whatever but there are also questions of selfishness even in the decision to have children with both parents around. when to have them? how many to have? Ever thought of what these children have such as being deprived of a sibling when the parents decide they are having only one child?

I think the better question should be what is the motivation for having children whether there is a husband or spouse in the picture. What are the plans that are put in place once children come into to picture. </div></div>

Huh?

Dis does nat compute.

Mixing oranges and aplles.

[britisha]

Re: Selfish oomens who decide to breed widdout a husban

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Nunya</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Kia</div><div class="ubbcode-body">

I feel badly for the now adult's experience but you know the reality is the father could have left by abandonment or death -- the effect of the act of using a sperm donor is the same.
</div></div>

The effect of having your father 'leave' by death cannot be the same as having a sperm donor as a father. </div></div>

.and that is so CLEARLY EVIDENT to some of us....no offense meant, but I cannot see it any other way

[britisha]

Re: Selfish oomens who decide to breed widdout a husban

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: CaanTapBawlSkell</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Now lett examinn y oomen weh doo AI caa fine noo mann.
</div></div>

((Skelley))

Mebbie yuh should start a tapick on this...good kwestian.

edited, waiting fi hear what some folks will say.

[twiney]

Re: Selfish oomens who decide to breed widdout a husban

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: britisha</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Twiny</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Not that I am saying I agree with single women deciding that they want to have children via AI or adopting or whatever but there are also questions of selfishness even in the decision to have children with both parents around. when to have them? how many to have? Ever thought of what these children have such as being deprived of a sibling when the parents decide they are having only one child?

I think the better question should be what is the motivation for having children whether there is a husband or spouse in the picture. What are the plans that are put in place once children come into to picture. </div></div>

Huh?

Dis does nat compute.

Mixing oranges and aplles. </div></div>

Isn't the this thread about selfish decisions that are made to have a child/children? Or it is only selfish if the woman is single and goes the route of AI?

[ILP]

Re: Selfish oomens who decide to breed widdout a husban

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: britisha</div><div class="ubbcode-body">This is the whole point, ILP, if childhood and adolescence can be so traumatic for the average child in a very many cases, how much more when the child is born under circumstances that don't fit the mold?

I personally believe that some of these women are shrouded in secrecy about these pregnancies, and so don't share, reach out to support systems, again for selfish reasons, and the child suffers in the long run. Now, this is a personal opinion.
</div></div>

britisha mi hear you and i really do see your point. i just dont agree. here is why? i've worked around too many teens (literally thousounds) and have for too many years. also i dont know if there is such a thing as an average teenager. Do some children with daddy's have difficulties with their genesis when it involves a sperm donor daddy? absolutely?

but just as many have issues (the <span style="font-weight: bold"><span style="font-size: 17pt">exact</span></span> same ones of abandonment, anger, rejection, emptiness, unresolved issues, what if's, why's etc.) when daddy is gone because he is dead, he left, he got sent to iraq, i am a single child, my daddy is home but is always working, my daddy is locked up and my mother wont let me see him, my father is somewhere out there and becasue i never met him and my mother left california and didnt tell anybody we were leaving, blah, blah, blah. btw: i didnt make any of these up.

of the children that have issues...some get past them with support from home, their friends, and from us at school. some have to get counseling.

some children accept their genesis as something that just is...and they are quite well adjusted....and they simply do what people do....they live.

very few things will make me accuse a parent of being selfish and irresponsible (mi sure oonu know how mi feel bout nuff tings weh parents do)....deciding to have a child and then love it, care for it, provide for it, support it and finally teach it to become a productive, contributing, empathetic, and loving human being just isnt one of them.

seriously...mi done now.

[britisha]

Re: Selfish oomens who decide to breed widdout a husban

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Gone_Clear_ILP</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: britisha</div><div class="ubbcode-body">This is the whole point, ILP, if childhood and adolescence can be so traumatic for the average child in a very many cases, how much more when the child is born under circumstances that don't fit the mold?

I personally believe that some of these women are shrouded in secrecy about these pregnancies, and so don't share, reach out to support systems, again for selfish reasons, and the child suffers in the long run. Now, this is a personal opinion.
</div></div>

britisha mi hear you and i really do see your point. i just dont agree. here is why? i've worked around too many teens (literally thousounds) and have for too many years. also i dont know if there is such a thing as an average teenager. Do some children with daddy's have difficulties with their genesis when it involves a sperm donor daddy? absolutely?

but just as many have issues (the <span style="font-weight: bold"><span style="font-size: 17pt">exact</span></span> same ones of abandonment, anger, rejection, emptiness, unresolved issues, what if's, why's etc.) when daddy is gone because he is dead, he left, he got sent to iraq, i am a single child, my daddy is home but is always working, my daddy is locked up and my mother wont let me see him, my father is somewhere out there and becasue i never met him and my mother left california and didnt tell anybody we were leaving, blah, blah, blah. btw: i didnt make any of these up.

of the children that have issues...some get past them with support from home, their friends, and from us at school. some have to get counseling.

some children accept their genesis as something that just is...and they are quite well adjusted....and they simply do what people do....they live.

very few things will make me accuse a parent of being selfish and irresponsible (mi sure oonu know how mi feel bout nuff tings weh parents do)....deciding to have a child and then love it, care for it, provide for it, support it and finally teach it to become a productive, contributing, empathetic, and loving human being just isnt one of them.

seriously...mi done now. </div></div>

**chukkle** average teenager..


Well, mi talking about any child who is undergoing adolescence stage of development...they are all the same according to the psychologists..

I think Skellys's postings explain the turmoil that these children undergo..operative word in one of her posts <span style="font-weight: bold">freak</span>

Sad that you see calling these 'WOMEN' selfish, as an accusation, it is more an accurate description of what is being witnessed.

Even the age[s] at which they opt to have these children, alone, in and of itself provides room for many questions.


thanks for participating in this thread ILP..you provided some good food for thought.

[britisha]

Re: Selfish oomens who decide to breed widdout a husban

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Twiny</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
Isn't the this thread about selfish decisions that are made to have a child/children? Or it is only selfish if the woman is single and goes the route of AI? </div></div>

..if the woman is single and decides to go the AI route...that's what I an stating Twiny.

[britisha]

Re: Selfish oomens who decide to breed widdout a husban

Able to duh a likkle googling...although this cannot top what Skelley posted.

The practice of artificial insemination is largely unregulated, and secrecy surrounding the identity of donors and recipients is the norm.<span style="font-weight: bold"> Surveys of parents indicate that most do not plan to tell their children the circumstances of their births. This raises ethical questions about the right of an individual to be informed about his or her heritage.</span> People who inadvertently discover they were conceived through artificial insemination often experience <span style="font-weight: bold">distress and feelings of confused identity.</span> Many doctors compound the problem by failing to keep records on the identities and medical histories of donors.

Read more: http://law.jrank.org/pages/4470/Arti...JvGw5OZ5&amp;C

From reading this, I am thinking if some of these women received any proper counseling..since here it is saying that MOST parent[s] do NOT plan to tell the children...meaning, <span style="font-weight: bold">they are willing to be living with a lie</span>...which can cause the woman to have psychological turmoil as well.

That can have serious repercussions on the relationship between the parent[s] and the child. Her psychological problem can be inadvertently transferred to the child which further compounds all the other problems and makes the child more vulnerable to more emotional problems. Who would be willing to invite that risk, and subject their 'child&quot; to that? That doesn't sound loving to me.<span style="font-style: italic">

Tidanale ((at)) yahoo dot com

I am an artificial insemination child. I don't know too much about it, but I hope it has nothing to do with my health and whether I can have children later on. Why can't these people do like normal people? Just have sex and have a child. Is ARTIFICIAL INSEMINATION a the soltution to infertility?<span style="font-weight: bold"> These question still spark in my head as I go about knowing how I got here and realizing its not normal</span></span>

[MarieK]

Re: Selfish oomens who decide to breed widdout a husban

yet i see so many disfunctional couples who continue to pop out kids and raise them in their version of a loving home. so which is worse being a product of that home or beingthe product of efforts made by someone who wanted you here sooo bad they were willing to jump thru hoops to make it happen.

having a father/father figure that is abusive not necessarily physically but probably emotionally i see many men who are checked out of their marriages or have jobs where they are absent a lot how does that equate to having a good father/father figure

these kids r being raised in loveless homes. children r a product of their environment raise them with love and they will be loving raise them in a two parent home with issues and they will have issues.

[britisha]

Re: Selfish oomens who decide to breed widdout a husban

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Queen_of_d_A</div><div class="ubbcode-body">yet i see so many disfunctional couples who continue to pop out kids and raise them in their version of a loving home. so which is worse being a product of that home or beingthe product of efforts made by someone who wanted you here sooo bad they were willing to jump thru hoops to make it happen.

having a father/father figure that is abusive not necessarily physically but probably emotionally i see many men who are checked out of their marriages or have jobs where they are absent a lot how does that equate to having a good father/father figure

these kids r being raised in loveless homes. children r a product of their environment raise them with love and they will be loving raise them in a two parent home with issues and they will have issues.

</div></div>

How do you feel about women without a husband who choose to be artificially inseminated?


do they make the grade?

[julie*mango]

Re: Selfish oomens who decide to breed widdout a husban

unoo know sitten...

mi a go tell unoo y mi nuh gree wid dem sitten


i am a typical jamaican mutt...with strong african features

i can tell you about my indian heritage

i can tell you about my scottish heritage

i cannot tell you about my African heritage before my great grandparents.

I feel lost...like I truly do not know who I am in that sense....

and I can liken my feelings to the kids who know nothing about their father's heritage...because of the whims of their mothers...

[MarieK]

Re: Selfish oomens who decide to breed widdout a husban

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: britisha</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Queen_of_d_A</div><div class="ubbcode-body">yet i see so many disfunctional couples who continue to pop out kids and raise them in their version of a loving home. so which is worse being a product of that home or beingthe product of efforts made by someone who wanted you here sooo bad they were willing to jump thru hoops to make it happen.

having a father/father figure that is abusive not necessarily physically but probably emotionally i see many men who are checked out of their marriages or have jobs where they are absent a lot how does that equate to having a good father/father figure

these kids r being raised in loveless homes. children r a product of their environment raise them with love and they will be loving raise them in a two parent home with issues and they will have issues.

</div></div>

How do you feel about women without a husband who choose to be artificially inseminated?


do they make the grade? </div></div>

a few years ago i wd have said they r selfish however the older i get the more i am seeing women who went the &quot;conventional&quot; route and screwed up kids lives as well as i am meeting ppl who have done ai and are raising well adjusted kids. my ex boss in particular is a great mother her daughter was 17 at the time knew she was an ai baby and was on the way to yale went to one of them juliard schools fi young pickney bright and so happy. She has the relationship with her mom that i have with mine ironically both r single parents

[britisha]

Re: Selfish oomens who decide to breed widdout a husban

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Queen_of_d_A</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
a few years ago i wd have said they r selfish however the older i get the more i am seeing women who went the &quot;conventional&quot; route and screwed up kids lives as well as i am meeting ppl who have done ai and are raising well adjusted kids. my ex boss in particular is a great mother her daughter was 17 at the time knew she was an ai baby and was on the way to yale went to one of them juliard schools fi young pickney bright and so happy. She has the relationship with her mom that i have with mine ironically both r single parents

</div></div>

Thanks for sharing.