Selfish oomens who decide to breed widdout a husban

[britisha]

Re: Selfish oomens who decide to breed widdout a husban

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: CaanTapBawlSkell</div><div class="ubbcode-body">unoo know sitten...

mi a go tell unoo y mi nuh gree wid dem sitten


i am a typical jamaican mutt...with strong african features

i can tell you about my indian heritage

i can tell you about my scottish heritage

i cannot tell you about my African heritage before my great grandparents.

I feel lost...like I truly do not know who I am in that sense....

and I can liken my feelings to the kids who know nothing about their father's heritage...because of the whims of their mothers...


</div></div>

Good points.

[MarieK]

Re: Selfish oomens who decide to breed widdout a husban

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: britisha</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Queen_of_d_A</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
a few years ago i wd have said they r selfish however the older i get the more i am seeing women who went the &quot;conventional&quot; route and screwed up kids lives as well as i am meeting ppl who have done ai and are raising well adjusted kids. my ex boss in particular is a great mother her daughter was 17 at the time knew she was an ai baby and was on the way to yale went to one of them juliard schools fi young pickney bright and so happy. She has the relationship with her mom that i have with mine ironically both r single parents

</div></div>

Thanks for sharing. </div></div>

u r quite welcome

[britisha]

Re: Selfish oomens who decide to breed widdout a husban

Now, mi did gi dis some more thought, and judging from the responses here, it seems to me that not only from the consensus here, but even in mainstream that *we* are willing to divert from societal norms to indulge in these waaay out practices that are not in keeping with morality and even ethics. Call it judgemental if you want, but a juss soh it goh...a child should have 2 parents in the home, unles the faddah or maddah dead or gone on a &quot;mission&quot; eg work abrawd. Dem sinting yah, bout it is okay fi children live with single mothers or single fathers or wurrsarah NO FADDA to speak of opens another chapter on where the world is heading or has headed.

*chukkle*

Wondering what's going through the mind of such a woman during the pregnancy, knowing full well that there is no Daddy for the &quot;baby&quot; to come home to. Interesting. I guess it takes a special type of &quot;woman&quot; to do such a thing...and for the child, so you &quot;know&quot; that your were &quot;CONCEIVED&quot; [yeah right!!] under such circumstances, and it noh baddah yuh....::

What else will society approve?

What next Lord?

((Mamma AND Papa))

[twiney]

Re: Selfish oomens who decide to breed widdout a husban

Since we are being judgmental why don't we just call all who have pickney outside of what &quot;we&quot; consider normal and ethical selfish? Example unhappily married couple decide fi have pickney to try to save the marriage ... marriage still no work poor pickney. Isn't that selfish?

[julie*mango]

Re: Selfish oomens who decide to breed widdout a husban

yes start a tredd fi dem too...also oomen who breed fi &quot;trap&quot; man an man who breed women so dem nuh leff dem...

[julie*mango]

Re: Selfish oomens who decide to breed widdout a husban

BTW Britisha how yu feel bout single parent adoptions? Now that I have nothing against...

[kia027]

Re: Selfish oomens who decide to breed widdout a husban

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: CaanTapBawlSkell</div><div class="ubbcode-body">BTW Britisha how yu feel bout single parent adoptions? Now that I have nothing against... </div></div>

why not? they are growing up without one of their parents and face all the same issues a child from a single home is facing on top of the fact they are not genetically related to the parent raising them.

[julie*mango]

Re: Selfish oomens who decide to breed widdout a husban

they have the option to know who their parents are at 18...genetic history is not all lost

ETA: In most cases they fare better having a single parent raising them than being bounced around different foster homes

[kia027]

Re: Selfish oomens who decide to breed widdout a husban

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: CaanTapBawlSkell</div><div class="ubbcode-body">they have the option to know who their parents are at 18...genetic history is not all lost

ETA: In most cases they fare better having a single parent raising them than being bounced around different foster homes </div></div>

actually that varies by country.. some have open adoptions some have closed where even at 18 they cannot find out.

and bounced around from foster homes no different than being sent to live wid granny &amp; cousins back home, while the parent a do dem ting.

[tsophra]

Re: Selfish oomens who decide to breed widdout a husban

No Britisha me nu tink dem selfish ..granted a 2 parent home would/should be ideal..but if its not an option for the woman what should she do?

'sides are 2 parent homes really the panacea (<span style="font-style: italic">slight exaggeration here </span>) to societies ills?

[MarieK]

Re: Selfish oomens who decide to breed widdout a husban

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Twiny</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Since we are being judgmental why don't we just call all who have pickney outside of what &quot;we&quot; consider normal and ethical selfish? Example unhappily married couple decide fi have pickney to try to save the marriage ... marriage still no work poor pickney. Isn't that selfish? </div></div>

it nuh mek no sense

[britisha]

Re: Selfish oomens who decide to breed widdout a husban

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Jaded</div><div class="ubbcode-body">No Britisha me nu tink dem selfish ..granted a 2 parent home would/should be ideal..but if its not an option for the woman what should she do?

'sides are 2 parent homes really the panacea (<span style="font-style: italic">slight exaggeration here </span>) to societies ills? </div></div>

There's a difference between two parent functional &quot;homes&quot; and DYSFUNCTIONAL ones, that seem to fit the norm..all because of society's acceptance of a lot of fill in the blanks..

Remember the likkle song, &quot;A House is Not a Home&quot;..,,nowadays, and *I* am entitled to say that...with NO offense, &quot;now-a-days&quot; &quot; it seems to be that parents are running amok to have 4 cars, 6 refrigerators and 200 pairs of shoes and 8 500 dollar sneakers for their kids, a penthouse, a country home and a farm, instead of being able to offer the quality time together with some tender loving care...wrong emphasis...this is yyyy....some of these 2 parent homes have failed..

In answer to your question, that should explain a likkle bit, why two parent homes cannot be regarded as any <span style="font-style: italic">panacea</span>...there is NONE..in the same breath, and getting back to my original point, it reeks of selfishness to want to being a child into the world WITHOUT a father..

[britisha]

Re: Selfish oomens who decide to breed widdout a husban

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Kia</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: CaanTapBawlSkell</div><div class="ubbcode-body">they have the option to know who their parents are at 18...genetic history is not all lost

ETA: In most cases they fare better having a single parent raising them than being bounced around different foster homes </div></div>

actually that varies by country.. some have open adoptions some have closed where even at 18 they cannot find out.

and bounced around from foster homes no different than being sent to live wid granny &amp; cousins back home, while the parent a do dem ting.

</div></div>

What logic do you base this on?

Foster parents cannot take the place of a tender loving grandmother, in the true sense of the word...mi nat talking those who drink, smoke, gamble and the like...real grandmothers still exist....reread...see you are talking about &quot;barrel children&quot; that's even worse, compounds the problem even more...

<span style="font-style: italic">CLARIFICATION</span>...I did mention &quot;barrel children&quot; but then they are not in the same category as those whose parents migrate and leave them wid granny and Uncle John etc..those children are BLOOD RELATIVES, and while we hear of abuse in such settings, a child would prefer to stay with a relative any day, over staying with a complete stranger, provided all the other parameters are met.


As for &quot;barrel children&quot; they are the ones who I believe a study showed where they actually &quot;lived out of barrels&quot;...had no one to supervise them, and were literally on their own while their parents gaawn abrawd..


KIA, there is NO comparison, none whatsoever.

This ooman on my job has a &quot;foster home&quot; shi mussie haff bout 7 children in the house...she showed me the check she gets for them.. 3,700 per month...she goes to work and the husband runs the &quot;home...&quot;


Think about it...nine people on that small bread plus what she is making...adoption/foster parenting isn't all that it is trumped up to be.

With all the comparing and contrasting that is being done, I guess I am asking what would &quot;posses&quot; a woman to embark on that feat...gotta bi tough as nails.

[britisha]

Re: Selfish oomens who decide to breed widdout a husban

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Kia</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I don't think it is selfish in some cases. What I think for a woman who decides to have a child on her own is that she has thought about it long &amp; hard enough and has hopefully had counseling along with a support system which includes a father figure. For those who have done this and I do know some women who have the child is thriving and doing well.

Michael Jackson was a single parent, but he could afford the support system his children need to help them grow. </div></div>

Rethinking this Kia...now that you had mentioned MJ..

I don't think it would be PC now for me to go into what we are hearing...and you will admit that this scenario is waaay out, strange, different and even unfathomable to many; from what we have been hearing, if it's true, and I have no reason to doubt.

Now I can't help but *chukkle* when the news is out that HE IS NOT EVEN THE BIOLOGICAL FATHER...THAT RIVALS THE UNMARRIED, SINGLE WOMAN WHO HAS AI seriously, the ones that I am talking about...

So for you to cite him as an example of a &quot;good&quot; single parent&quot; when he married a woman, got into some arrangement for her to have the children of his doctor has me really wondering what you are/were trying to say. To top it off, he divorces the woman, and BINGO!! cuts her out of the will..[and oh yes, I heard that he provided for the children, but duh!!!]


I don't think you should have used him as an example KIA...and MJ is still my dearly beloved. I wish the kids all the best.

Now, just this morning I was talking with a fellow, and guess who he mentioned?


OCTOMOM!!!....

Octomom who they say is whacky in the head, like a few others...see where I am going with this?

Still yet, THIS HAD THE STAMP OF APPROVAL FROM SOCIETY AND THE MEDICAL PROFESSION, which as I said before, getting their stamp of approval, doesn't make it RIGHT ..Society has approved many atrocities in the past, so?

<span style="font-style: italic">Surrogating is another...being paid to carry a child</span> <span style="font-style: italic">MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEYYYY...</span>

Now what is going to happen to those children?


Did she know that she would end up with 8 kids? Puh-leeze..

[kia027]

Re: Selfish oomens who decide to breed widdout a husban

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: britisha</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Kia</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: CaanTapBawlSkell</div><div class="ubbcode-body">they have the option to know who their parents are at 18...genetic history is not all lost

ETA: In most cases they fare better having a single parent raising them than being bounced around different foster homes </div></div>

actually that varies by country.. some have open adoptions some have closed where even at 18 they cannot find out.

and bounced around from foster homes no different than being sent to live wid granny &amp; cousins back home, while the parent a do dem ting.

</div></div>

What logic do you base this on?

Foster parents cannot take the place of a tender loving grandmother, in the true sense of the word...mi nat talking those who drink, smoke, gamble and the like...real grandmothers still exist....reread...see you are talking about &quot;barrel children&quot; that's even worse, compounds the problem even more...
<span style="color: #FF0000">u assuming grandparents are tender and loving and willing to take on raising another child at that stage of their life. Some are, some are not. Some grandparents are around, some are not. </span>
<span style="font-style: italic">CLARIFICATION</span>...I did mention &quot;barrel children&quot; but then they are not in the same category as those whose parents migrate and leave them wid granny and Uncle John etc..those children are BLOOD RELATIVES, and while we hear of abuse in such settings, a child would prefer to stay with a relative any day, over staying with a complete stranger, provided all the other parameters are met.
<span style="color: #CC0000">they may be blood relatives but it is still NOT their child and the child does get treated differently than their bio kids. I have seen that happen many a time in JA. Also if the child does not know their relatives well (ie being sent to live in JA where they see relatives maybe once a year - it is the same as living with a stranger because the child does not know them.</span>

As for &quot;barrel children&quot; they are the ones who I believe a study showed where they actually &quot;lived out of barrels&quot;...had no one to supervise them, and were literally on their own while their parents gaawn abrawd.. <span style="color: #FF0000">My understanding of barrel children are the kids whose parents send barrels of items for their children who live with others, while the parents live abroad. The example mentioned here sounds like a failure on the part of the caretakers of these children because while the parents are abroad sending the barrels, I am sure there was an adult picking up these same barrels through customs. </span>


KIA, there is NO comparison, none whatsoever.

This ooman on my job has a &quot;foster home&quot; shi mussie haff bout 7 children in the house...she showed me the check she gets for them.. 3,700 per month...she goes to work and the husband runs the &quot;home...&quot;


Think about it...nine people on that small bread plus what she is making...adoption/foster parenting isn't all that it is trumped up to be.

With all the comparing and contrasting that is being done, I guess I am asking what would &quot;posses&quot; a woman to embark on that feat...gotta bi tough as nails. </div></div>

<span style="color: #FF0000">Some people have a gift of giving lots of love to lots of children and are great foster parents and there are others that do it for the money and give the kids the bare minimum. Foster care/orphanages is not the ideal but with 500K children in the US foster system, and how much in Jamaica (i don't have a number) what can we do?.

</span>