"Black People, Babies, And Breakups"

[Diplomat]

Re: "Black People, Babies, And Breakups"

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Is_Me</div><div class="ubbcode-body">...grammar is important because it communicates intelligence. Lack of it leads you to assume that the person does not know what they are talking about. And in this instance, I doubt this person is intelligent. </div></div>
There's an element of danger in that though. In any given situation, the grammar can become the focus of attention and we risk losing sight of what is being conveyed. I wouldn't say good grammar is indicative of intelligence. For sure it facilitates clarity, but it doesn't stand to reason that a grammatical incorrect piece is automatically void of anything intelligent.

[Diplomat]

Re: "Black People, Babies, And Breakups"

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: SueSumba</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: CEW</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
BTW, even though we could say the reasons are, for the most part, stereotypical, could we be throwing out the baby with the bathwater? Is there an element of discomforting truth to some of those stereotypes? </div></div>
yes. and with other touchy issues, such as black on black voilence, we must not confront it, rather let's deny it exists and focus on other issues [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/smirk.gif[/img] </div></div>
Point well taken. I get that same feeling...

[tsophra]

Re: "Black People, Babies, And Breakups"


<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> . Black males don’t in general trust black females because they have noticed — that too many of them are sexually promiscuous, just like many black men are sexually promiscuous.

7. Genetic – blacks produce more testosterone than any other ethnic group, and the more testosterone you produce the more you sexually active you want to be. Even if you don’t act upon the urge to go have sex you still have the feelings.

8. Too many black woman and men have disagreeable attitudes and negative dispositions so, they date each other but don’t feel like getting married because then they will have to deal with each others negative attitudes.

9. A baby is like a marriage and many black men don’t want to be attached to the black woman they have a out of wedlock kid with — because the kid is like a binding cord that says you must deal with the mother also even if you don’t want to.

10. Too many black women are sexually easy to have sex with and they put no demands on the black man. So black men don’t feel pressure that would turn into obligations to respect black women and take care of the children.

11. Black men just enjoy their freedom of not be obligated to a female. No commitment, no responsibility, no marriage, no financial obligation to take care of the black woman, etc many black men enjoy this type of freedom.

Black men and black women please work together to provide for your children even if you all are not together in relationship. Think about the best interest of the kids. Even if you don’t like each other at least cooperate good enough to provide for the kid. A child needs the love and attention of mother and father.

</div></div>


not unwilling to deal wid...me really juss nu agree wid such broad generalisations


CEW..u seem to believe there's some chroot dere? so what are your thoughts?

[DearK]

Re: "Black People, Babies, And Breakups"

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: SueSumba</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: CEW</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
BTW, even though we could say the reasons are, for the most part, stereotypical, could we be throwing out the baby with the bathwater? Is there an element of discomforting truth to some of those stereotypes? </div></div>
yes. and with other touchy issues, such as black on black voilence, we must not confront it, rather let's deny it exists and focus on other issues [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/smirk.gif[/img] </div></div>

I find your statement to be an unfair one. I dont think anyone disputes or refuses to confront these issues. Personally I acknowledge that theissues are real, for varied reasons... but I wouldnt win any points by presenting speculative 'facts' without some back-up!

[tsophra]

Re: "Black People, Babies, And Breakups"

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> Black males don’t in general trust black females because they have noticed — that too many of them are sexually promiscuous, just like many black men are sexually promiscuous.
</div></div>

where's the hint a chroot in dis? promiscuous compared to whom?

cho...me cyaan even badds go chroo dem all [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/bubble.gif[/img]

[Yvonne N.]

Re: "Black People, Babies, And Breakups"

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: CEW</div><div class="ubbcode-body">A provocative article I came across. Some of the reasons articulated for the break-ups seem the usual sterotypes, but it would be interesting to hear your thoughts as to whether you agree / disagree with them.

By Chance Kelsey


Reasons Why Black Men Leave When A baby Is Born

1. Sub culture that continues to socially institutionalize this out of wedlock and don’t take [care ] of the kid behavior among black men.

<span style="color: #33CC00">Agree.
Sex has become so very casual that, seemingly, the risks of having a baby are not even considered</span>

2. Father and Mother not getting along.

<span style="color: #33CC00">Agree.
Lack of conflict resolution skills happens to be a major problem; there are too many relationships with one-upmanship issues. </span>

3. Lack of money.

<span style="color: #33CC00">Agree.
Black folks receive little or no legacies from parents and the little they have has to go a long way.</span>

4. He was just with her for sex and the baby was just a byproduct of that situation.

<span style="color: #33CC00">Agree.
No real, obvious recognition of the fact that sexual intercourse can equal a [possible] baby.</span>

5. Mother and Father were just with each other for sex only, and baby was just natural result even though they did not plan to have a child.

<span style="color: #33CC00">Agree.
Some parents got together for the wrong reasons from the beginning...and children were not a part of that plan.</span>

6. Black males don’t in general trust black females because they have noticed — that too many of them are sexually promiscuous, just like many black men are sexually promiscuous.

<span style="color: #33CC00">Agree.
Trust is not easy to gain. Sometimes it’s not even intentional promiscuity but a search, albeit an inappropriate search, for the person who will complement the other.</span>


7. Genetic – blacks produce more testosterone than any other ethnic group, and the more testosterone you produce the more you sexually active you want to be. Even if you don’t act upon the urge to go have sex you still have the feelings.

<span style="color: #33CC00">Agree.
They have been saying that with specific reference to the field of sports. They claim that China, for example, with their millions, has yet to produce a 100m runner of world class status.</span>

8. Too many black women and men have disagreeable attitudes and negative dispositions so, they date each other but don’t feel like getting married because then they will have to deal with each others negative attitudes.

<span style="color: #33CC00">Agree.
I once heard what I considered to be a lovely lady say that she doesn’t how her husband puts up with her because she can’t even put with herself some times.
He is very tolerant, a rare quality among many of us. </span>

9. A baby is like a marriage and many black men don’t want to be attached to the black woman they have a out of wedlock kid with — because the kid is like a binding cord that says you must deal with the mother also even if you don’t want to.

<span style="color: #33CC00">Agree.
Enough women use this ruse to hold the fellow to her’ forever’; it happens.</span>

10. Too many black women are sexually easy to have sex with and they put no demands on the black man. So black men don’t feel pressure that would turn into obligations to respect black women and take care of the children.

<span style="color: #33CC00">Agree.
Frustration and wanting a man at any cost can cause monkey to have sex with a cat (paraphrasing Phatty). Sad but true.</span>

11. Black men just enjoy their freedom of not be obligated to a female. No commitment, no responsibility, no marriage, no financial obligation to take care of the black woman, etc many black men enjoy this type of freedom.

<span style="color: #33CC00">Agree.
Some <u>do</u> try but they may have had to fend for themselves from so early that they simply want someone to rest in the care someone may provide them in adulthood. </span>

Black men and black women, please work together to provide for your children even if you all are not together in relationship. Think about the best interest of the kids. Even if you don’t like each other, at least cooperate good enough to provide for the kid. A child needs the love and attention of mother and father.

<span style="color: #33CC00">Agree.
No matter your outlook, every child deserves love and protection from a mother and father. Like they say, the best gift a parent can give a child is to love the other parent and treat that person respectfully.</span>


SOURCE </div></div>

Valid points on the topic.

[MarieK]

Re: "Black People, Babies, And Breakups"

wonder what makes white men shirk their responsibilities

[Night Nurse]

Re: "Black People, Babies, And Breakups"

Yunnuh. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/rolleyes.gif[/img]

It neva cease tuh amaze mi how some a wi love perpitrate di fraud. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/rolleyes.gif[/img]

All if wi haffi forgive di ole eediat illitarett dem, as lang as dem a denegrate di race, wi reddy fi big dem up.

~~LANGKISSTEET~~ pan dis a foolynish yah. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70400-talktohand.gif[/img]

[Hopyoneson]

Re: "Black People, Babies, And Breakups"

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Mrs. MarieK</div><div class="ubbcode-body">wonder what makes white men shirk their responsibilities </div></div>

mi sure seh black people gwen get blame fi dat too from the tone of the article. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/confused.gif[/img] hold... on... a... minute.. mi testosterone is acting up again muss find healhty body woman fi breed [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/smirk.gif[/img]

[tsophra]

Re: "Black People, Babies, And Breakups"

all dat testeronie + women who like fe geet whey..
sounds like a combustible formula to me [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img]
mebbe de race will implode [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/bubble.gif[/img]

[Night Nurse]

Re: "Black People, Babies, And Breakups"

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Kingston20</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Mrs. MarieK</div><div class="ubbcode-body">wonder what makes white men shirk their responsibilities </div></div>

mi sure seh black people gwen get blame fi dat too from the tone of the article. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/confused.gif[/img] hold... on... a... minute.. mi testosterone is acting up again muss find healhty body woman fi breed [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/smirk.gif[/img] </div></div>

[img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70394-bawlout.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70394-bawlout.gif[/img][img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70394-bawlout.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70394-bawlout.gif[/img]

:MIBELLYBATTAMJUSSDRAPHOUT:

[Night Nurse]

Re: "Black People, Babies, And Breakups"

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Jaded</div><div class="ubbcode-body">all dat testeronie + women who like fe geet whey..
sounds like a combustible formula to me [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img]
mebbe de race will implode [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/bubble.gif[/img] </div></div>

BOAL - unnoo tappee man. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/mad.gif[/img] A kill unno a chry kill mi een yah tidey?

[img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img]

[Yvonne N.]

Re: "Black People, Babies, And Breakups"

The quicker we call a 'spade' a 'spade', the further ahead we'll move. Right now, it's almost as if we are up the creek and everyone seems to be saying,
"Oh what's that lovely smell?"...for fear of...

[Diplomat]

Re: "Black People, Babies, And Breakups"

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Jaded</div><div class="ubbcode-body">CEW..u seem to believe there's some chroot dere? so what are your thoughts?
</div></div>

Stereotypes aside, I agree with Shandra's and SueSumba's observations that there are discomfiting truths in the list of reasons for the post-baby breakups in our community. Sure there are some generalizations, but we need look no further than on this BBS for evidence that to a large degree, generalizing is something easier noticed when someone else does it.

I also think that there is a certain "defensiveness" in our community when light is shone on our dirt. That every ethnic group has its own dirt is of little relevance really, and the only benefit from comparing is psychological; we are either better or not as bad as the other guy. Yet even if that is true, it doesn't change what is happening in our community.

Reason #7 aside, 8-11 are ones that have been talked about ad nauseum in our community. They are tough truths, and in fact may cause some to feel extremely uncomfortable especially if at one time or the other, or even now, they see themselves somewhere in them.

I readily agree that the article reflects the author's opinion, but as Shandra alluded to, and despite the lack of supporting 'statistics', if we are prepared to call a spade by its name, we can easily see some truths in his observations. Discomforting? Yes; Undeniable? No.

[MarieK]

Re: "Black People, Babies, And Breakups"

sigh