I Keep Trying to Deconstruct It

[Boopie2]

Re: I Keep Trying to Deconstruct It

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: applepie</div><div class="ubbcode-body">They are a lot of women who subscribe to dating sites looking for marriage, but the men are only looking for sex. Anybody can answer questionaires to let themselve look perfect match and develop a false sense of security after exchangin emails, phone calls. </div></div>

I wouldn't put it all on men only wanting sex. women look for quick hookups as well. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/blush.gif[/img]

[ILP]

Re: I Keep Trying to Deconstruct It

Milo answered Camarra's questions on 15 May


Describe an interest you have that you would truly hope your partner could share with you.
I would hope that my partner could share my relationship with Christ. I really never had that with my previous relationship. I also would hope that my partner could share my interest in officiating sports, not necessarily the act of officiating, but supporting me by coming out to the games and making herself a part of that activity.

What is one thing you could start doing today that would most improve the quality of your life?
Making better use of my time. I don't always adhere to a schedule that could allow me to make the most out of my time. I always feel like I'm in a twelve hour day with twenty-four hours worth of things to do. I know this would improve my quality of life but it would go strictly against my laid back nature.

Looking back at your life, describe one particular event that you wish you had handled differently.
I wish that I had ended things with their mom long before I/we did. Two became three and I thought I could love her through all of that. I couldn't. I should have recognized the signs and brought that chapter in our lives to a close sooner. As I have learned, the kids will be fine. They see the strife and unhappiness, they need to know that's not how life is supposed to be lived. Their mom and I are civil. She lives about 25 miles from here. We have both moved on with our lives.

[ILP]

Re: I Keep Trying to Deconstruct It

Camarra answered Milo's questions on May 15

1. Camarra, I was pleased to see we have quite a few things in common.Regarding commitment and your last relationship, in retrospect were you pleased at the level of commitment you brought to the relationship or were there regrets?
Mmmm, that is an interesting question. Over the years I have gone back and forth on this very question. I am both pleased and regretful about the level of commitment that I brought to my last relationship. I was pleased because I gave everything that I had (and even what I did not) to make things work. I am regretful, because in the end, what I gave was not enough.


2. I'm raising two super kids, (Willow 11, Deshae 6) how would you add you own flavor to their lives? and would you be able to correct them when they were wrong? P.S they are very loving, playful and funny.
I would need to see how you relate to them at first and how your relationship is with them (and their Mom). Then I would move from there. I am a woman in being totally honest with "mini-people". I believe that my job as an adult is to give people what they need to become honest, loving, hard working, achieving, contributing members of society.

3. What is one thing that you have learned from life or other relationships that you would do differently to develop or sustain our relationship? Thanks for the answers, I appreciate your honesty and sharing with me.
I think I have learned to always love myself. I really feel that if a person cant love themselves, then they cant fully and completely love another. Life and a past relationship taught me that. I am truly grateful for the lesson.

[Boopie2]

Re: I Keep Trying to Deconstruct It

Yes she is saying that she should love herself, but is jumping through hoops and bending over backwards to keep the relationship going really loving herself? If she's doing all reaching out, verbal talking etc it's one sided why bother?


"I think I have learned to always love myself. I really feel that if a person cant love themselves, then they cant fully and completely love another. Life and a past relationship taught me that. I am truly grateful for the lesson".

If she really loved herself she wouldn't still be going in repeat mode. She hasn't learned anything cause she's displaying the same behaviour with this guy.

[ILP]

Re: I Keep Trying to Deconstruct It

May 15

Camarra has a telephone conversation with one of her best friends, Stacey. Stacey is shocked and almost appauled that Camarra has been using an online dating service, with the hopes of trying to meet a man. Camarra explains, without really explaining, that she was tired of the bar scene. She giggled when she reminded Stacey that guitar, pottery, painting, writing, and the expensive golf lessons didnt work in trying to meet a man.

At this point, Camarra just wanted to know that her best friend supported her in this latest quest for happieness. So Stacey decided to give Camarra some "rules-of-the-road" for communicating with, and eventually meeting someone that she has been introduced to online.

1. Always Use Your Best Judgment

Some signs to consider: Watch out for someone who asks for money, uses vulgar language, asks inappropriate questions, or suggests sexual fantasies. Be careful of those who want to speed up the pace, tell you how to run your life, tell stories with inconsistencies, give vague answers to specific questions, urge you to compromise your principles, blame others for their troubles or are always speaking romantically. These are just a few of the signs you may want to think twice about before continuing.

2. Be Cautious Sharing Personal Information

We strongly encourage you to be cautious when sharing personal information that could reveal your identity. When you are ready-move cautiously to the next step: speaking by telephone. Speaking by phone to the other person is also a critical requirement in getting to know each other better. Before you share phone numbers make sure you have discussed the need to respect each other's privacy, and if either of you decide to end communication in the future, you will not use the phone number as a means to pursue an unwanted relationship. Most people prefer the man to offer his phone number to the woman and that she initiate any future phone calls, but you decide. Keep the first call to a short duration of 15 minutes or less.

3. Do Your Own Research

Regardless of the connection you feel, we encourage you to do your own research before meeting in person. This can be anything from typing your match's name into a search engine, contacting your state or local municipalities to obtain public information, or using a paid service to obtain a full background report. Above all else, use common sense. Pay attention to the details someone shares and if you find anything that doesn't add up, follow your intuition and close the communication.

4. Make Your First Date Safe and Successful

Meeting in person is a very exciting time. Approach your first meeting with reasonable high hopes, but try to limit your expectations.
Make sure you meet in a public place, preferably during the day.
Before meeting in person, make certain to obtain your match's first and last name and as much information about them as possible.
Tell at least one friend or family member about your plans, and arrange to "check-in" with them after each of the first few dates.
Try and keep the first date to about an hour. Lunch dates generally work well.
If one or both of you are traveling a long distance, then arrange for a short first meeting and plan on getting back together, if you both agree, a few hours later or the next day. This takes some of the pressure off the first encounter.
Do not meet at your house or place of work, or give that information out until you have had a good opportunity to better know the person. Use your own transportation. Driving yourself will allow you to leave easily if things aren't going well.

5. Take Your Time

We can't stress enough how important it is for you to take your time getting to know your match. Be aware that on-line communication tends to accelerate one's sense of comfort and intimacy. Remember that the online matching process does not eliminate the need for real life experience. Before you create a permanent relationship together we believe it is vital that both people date and get to know each other in a deep and revealing way. If possible you should consider living in the same area for a significant time. Realize that you will need to have a broad base of experiences together. The more experiences you have together, the better your chances of avoiding hidden surprises. Allow time for a variety of experiences together, particularly the simple everyday routine.

6. Always be Respectful and Kind

Always be respectful and treat the other person as you would want them to treat you. If you feel the need to end communication, then be honest, direct and polite. The sooner you address this determination the better for both of you.

[ILP]

Re: I Keep Trying to Deconstruct It

Camarra hangs up the phone with her friend Stacey and turns on her computer.....

May 16 - Camarra sent this to Milo

Hello Milo & Nice to meet you!

Just wanted to say the dialogue so far has been nice and that I hope it continues. I hope that this email finds you doing well.

Camarra



May 16 - Milo sent this to Camarra

Hey Camarra, the pleasure is mine. I too have enjoyed the dialogue. I certainly look forward to talking or typing to you further. We (kids and I) just got in from baseball games. Have to get ready for school and get them ready for bed. I had a great day today and I'm glad to be alive and blessed. Honestly, much better after seeing a hello message from you. Sleep well and I hope to hear from you soon.

Milo

[CeaBee]

Re: I Keep Trying to Deconstruct It

this a tek too long fi decontruck now.

[ILP]

Re: I Keep Trying to Deconstruct It

May 17

You sound rather busy, however busy is always good. A friend of mine is a teacher of high school seniors. She says that her students are just getting really lazy. But that's easy to figure out, they are about to enter "the real world" in a few weeks (smile).

My day was just busy...thank God for the summer, works isn't as busy and I can relax then.

I am being lazy myself. Could you tell me where in Miami you live (which part)?

Until then....Camarra


May 17

Hey there, a busy day huh? I'll have to give your friend credit, how does she hang with 12th graders? Well I imagine they are feeling the crunch now with graduation looming. How long has she been teaching? It is new to me but I really like it. I am looking forward to summer vacation also. I need a few days where I can sleep in and do nothing before I start my summer job. Hey as hard as we (teachers) work we can afford to be lazy...a little. I live in Miami Shores, which is actually north of Miami proper. I am off of 95. I did look up Salem, VA via yahoo to see how far we were apart. Sleep well!

Milo

[CeaBee]

Re: I Keep Trying to Deconstruct It

u did check wid milo man before u change the man name to milo? [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/1teeth.jpg[/img]

[ILP]

Re: I Keep Trying to Deconstruct It

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: coolbeans</div><div class="ubbcode-body">u did check wid milo man before u change the man name to milo? [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/1teeth.jpg[/img] </div></div>

dont im name is MiloMan?
mi neva know mi need permission fi use common name [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/bubble.gif[/img]

[CeaBee]

Re: I Keep Trying to Deconstruct It

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Home_Again</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: coolbeans</div><div class="ubbcode-body">u did check wid milo man before u change the man name to milo? [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/1teeth.jpg[/img] </div></div>

dont im name is MiloMan?
mi neva know mi need permission fi use common name [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/bubble.gif[/img] </div></div>

well now u know..nuh mek me haffi come burst dat bubble u noh [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/bexbad.gif[/img]

[ILP]

Re: I Keep Trying to Deconstruct It

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: coolbeans</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Home_Again</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: coolbeans</div><div class="ubbcode-body">u did check wid milo man before u change the man name to milo? [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/1teeth.jpg[/img] </div></div>
dont im name is MiloMan?
mi neva know mi need permission fi use common name [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/bubble.gif[/img] </div></div>
well now u know..nuh mek me haffi come burst dat bubble u noh [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/bexbad.gif[/img] </div></div>

ease up nuh CB...nuh boddah hot up youself bout im name [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/bubble.gif[/img]

[CeaBee]

Re: I Keep Trying to Deconstruct It

cho..i guess u not in a fighting mood [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/frown.gif[/img]

ok lata [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/1teeth.jpg[/img]

[Night Nurse]

Re: I Keep Trying to Deconstruct It

[img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/eek2.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/eek2.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/eek2.gif[/img] Mi gad, nutt'n nuh seekrit agenn eeh man?

A how yuh get yuh hanz dem paan dat missis?

JEEZAS SAYVIA PILAT ME \o/

[ILP]

Re: I Keep Trying to Deconstruct It

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: BlakICE_Queen</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/eek2.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/eek2.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/eek2.gif[/img] Mi gad, nutt'n nuh seekrit agenn eeh man?

A how yuh get yuh hanz dem paan dat missis?

JEEZAS SAYVIA PILAT ME \o/ </div></div>

is mek mi mekkin it up BLICE [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70459-lyad.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/whistle.gif[/img]