I Keep Trying to Deconstruct It

[Boopie2]

Re: I Keep Trying to Deconstruct It

How in the world could she write so much? I would have deleted it after reading the first paragraph. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/rolleyes.gif[/img]

[sistacaf]

Re: I Keep Trying to Deconstruct It

oh please, too much over-analyzing. that's what happens when you try to learn everything about someone online. there's no natural 'getting to know you' phase when its all inna one written encyclopedia. it's not always true what ppl write. if she expected all that to be "absoltuely true" she outta her mind in the first place. People talking 'about' demself (esp. on a dating website) and people 'being' dem true self, is two different sinting.

that's how it goes - people all hot and heavy at first, then them come to them senses and realize seh they not 'that' interested in the long run after all, and just say "oh never mind". it may not be very considerate of the other person's feelings, true - but them never wanna be bothered with some big emotional counseling session, and them really don't care bout the other person. if all dem have is a few e-mails bout "my likes and dislikes" they don't relaly have a solid relationship anyway even if they have spent 'some' time together. It's still not much more than a bunch of words on a page. By that point the guy just wanna move on to the next 'opportunity'.

oldest story in the book. especially when it comes to men.

[Boopie2]

Re: I Keep Trying to Deconstruct It

[img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/rolleyes.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/rolleyes.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/rolleyes.gif[/img] The first clue was how many times did she have to reach out for him? He's not into her and that's that. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70400-talktohand.gif[/img] She's just angry that she slept with him and now he's turned around and dumped her. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/rolleyes.gif[/img] She should have done more spiritual things with him, if he cooled his heels it wouldn't have been any big deal if he dissapeared. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/rolleyes.gif[/img]

Nobody to blame except herself, she's too darn needy anyway. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img]

[sistacaf]

Re: I Keep Trying to Deconstruct It

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> She's just angry that she slept with him and now he's turned around and dumped her.</div></div>

yep. and she somehow thought that would never happen - i mean geez, he was her soulmate. They had a deep relationship..... and of course she knew this for a fact, cause after all, him did tell her so in alla them deep things him revealed (only to her) about his deepest darkest self......in his absoluetly honest online profile.

cha i dunno whether to [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70400-talktohand.gif[/img] or [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img] when i hear stuff like this

[Boopie2]

Re: I Keep Trying to Deconstruct It

[img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img]

[Nunya]

Re: I Keep Trying to Deconstruct It

So this is an on-line hook-up thing then? Well, being as it's 'on-line' I can understand her verbosity ~lol~ C'mon ya'll, how often have we tried to express an idea verbally and it comes across much less wordy than when written... you know it's true...

Plus, when we're hurt, is it not the norm to analyze everything to death??? That's what she's doing here so don't pick her apart too much...

The problem is simple: he wants out but don't know how to say it.

Her dilemma is also simple: she's hurt and confused and want him to stay without begging him to. She also wants him to change even though she's denying it.

Bottom line: She can't make him stay. She can't change him. She's gotta let it go.

With all the words she's written in that email, they prolly never really conveyed just how torn-up she's truly feeling. Sometimes we write and write and write, hoping the more words we use, the more someone will 'get' us. The unfortunate part is that most times folk end up getting a different impression - totally opposite to what we want to convey - how many times have we seen this play out on this board? Folk gotta come back and clarify and add smilies etc, until they just give up and leave a thread ~lol~

Considering her need for verbal self-expression, I'm thinking that an on-line match-up is not for her. She should meet potential SOs in person so that she can 'read' them better. As mentioned, folk can and will say anything at the keyboard... especially when the 'choices' for 'must-haves' etc have already been worded by a third party. No room for modification.

btw, did he respond to her email?

[Boopie2]

Re: I Keep Trying to Deconstruct It

[img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/eek2.gif[/img] Speak for yourself, I've never written this much to a boyfriend in my life. I've never done the long distance or an online relationship thing. Other than cards forget it I bet you he didn't even read the whole thing. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/rolleyes.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/rolleyes.gif[/img]

Bottom line is he wasn't into her. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70400-talktohand.gif[/img]

When a man loves a woman
Can't keep his mind on nothing else
He'll trade the world
For the good thing he's found
If she's bad he can't see it
She can do no wrong
Turn his back on his best friend
If he put her down

When a man loves a woman
Spend his very last dime
Tryin' to hold on to what he needs
He'd give up all his comfort
Sleep out in the rain
If she said that's the way it ought to be

Well, this man loves a woman
I gave you everything I had
Tryin' to hold on to your precious love
Baby, please don't treat me bad

When a man loves a woman
Down deep in his soul
She can bring him such misery
If she plays him for a fool
He's the last one to know
Lovin' eyes can't ever see

When a man loves a woman
He can do no wrong
He can never own some other girl
Yes when a man loves a woman
I know exactly how he feels
'Cause baby, baby, baby, you're my world

When a man loves a woman.....

Maybe she should study this song from Percy Sledge. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img]

[sistacaf]

Re: I Keep Trying to Deconstruct It

yeh nunya, i hear u

the bottom line either way is there ain't nothing to 'deconstruct' - its all right there, plain as day.

No matter what he said before, he just ain't into her. whether them meet online or in person, it's the same thing.

[tsophra]

Re: I Keep Trying to Deconstruct It

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Boopie2</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/eek2.gif[/img] Speak for yourself, I've never written this much to a boyfriend in my life. I've never done the long distance or an online relationship thing. Other than cards forget it I bet you he didn't even read the whole thing. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/rolleyes.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/rolleyes.gif[/img]

Bottom line is he wasn't into her. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70400-talktohand.gif[/img]

When a man loves a woman
Can't keep his mind on nothing else
He'll trade the world
For the good thing he's found
If she's bad he can't see it
She can do no wrong
Turn his back on his best friend
If he put her down

When a man loves a woman
Spend his very last dime
Tryin' to hold on to what he needs
He'd give up all his comfort
Sleep out in the rain
If she said that's the way it ought to be

Well, this man loves a woman
I gave you everything I had
Tryin' to hold on to your precious love
Baby, please don't treat me bad

When a man loves a woman
Down deep in his soul
She can bring him such misery
If she plays him for a fool
He's the last one to know
Lovin' eyes can't ever see

When a man loves a woman
He can do no wrong
He can never own some other girl
Yes when a man loves a woman
I know exactly how he feels
'Cause baby, baby, baby, you're my world

When a man loves a woman.....

Maybe she should study this song from Percy Sledge. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img] </div></div>

[img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70409-waytogo.gif[/img] every women should keep dis sang in mind

[Nunya]

Re: I Keep Trying to Deconstruct It

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Boopie2</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/eek2.gif[/img] Speak for yourself, I've never written this much to a boyfriend in my life. I've never done the long distance or an online relationship thing. Other than cards forget it I bet you he didn't even read the whole thing. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/rolleyes.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/rolleyes.gif[/img]

</div></div>

I wasn't speaking for you.

[tsophra]

Re: I Keep Trying to Deconstruct It

glad dats sorted then...oonu a chat fe oonu selves [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/bubble.gif[/img]

[Boopie2]

Re: I Keep Trying to Deconstruct It

" C'mon ya'll, how often have we tried to express an idea verbally and it comes across much less wordy than when written... you know it's true..."



So who is the C'mon yall? I'm assuming it was directed at the ones saying this email is just too long winded. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img] Maybe if he was in the Army or Navy then he may get a long winded letter, other than that forget it. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70400-talktohand.gif[/img]

[Nunya]

Re: I Keep Trying to Deconstruct It

It was directed to discerning people.

[applepie]

Re: I Keep Trying to Deconstruct It

They are a lot of women who subscribe to dating sites looking for marriage, but the men are only looking for sex. Anybody can answer questionaires to let themselve look perfect match and develop a false sense of security after exchangin emails, phone calls.

[Boopie2]

Re: I Keep Trying to Deconstruct It

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Nunya</div><div class="ubbcode-body">It was directed to discerning people. </div></div>