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My husband and I are separated pending divorce. I have not seen him in over a month and the last time I did he gave me $60 for our son. He called me 3 days ago telling me that his mother died and he wants me and our son to attend the funeral. I told him I am not going anywhere and neither is my son. Maybe I will let him take J to the gathering after the burial but I do not want him around dead bodies. He is now yelling at me and calling me selfish. I mean, I hate the woman, and quite frankly I am glad she is dead, she was such a meddler. If I do end up going I told him I will spit in her coffin as a goodbye gift. He is calling me all sorts of names. What should I do?
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Re: Should I go?
send the son and dont go if you know you cant be civil
death is a part of life & in jamaican culture children go to funerals all the while..If you don't fight for what you deserve, you deserve what you get.
We are > Fossil Fuels --- Bill McKibben 350.org -
Re: Should I go?
Hmmmm, my answer would depend on the age of your son.
If him bout 5 or so then I would say let his dad take him.
ETA: U are being harsh too. De man mumma juss dead anu a tell him bout spit inna coffin. if mi a him i woodan reach yuh yaad so quick an clabba yuh. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/whistle.gif[/img] Mi sure yuh wooden like it if a did ur parent dead an him say dat..regardless a wah de mumma do [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70388-shameonyou.gif[/img]Comment
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Re: Should I go?
He is 4. His father hasn't seen him in a month and all of a sudden his mother dies and he wants to have his "family" there to support him????Comment
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Re: Should I go?
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: DebsinNY</div><div class="ubbcode-body">He is 4. His father hasn't seen him in a month and all of a sudden his mother dies and he wants to have his "family" there to support him???? </div></div>
death has a way of bringing families together..
4 is old enough to go with his father.. just make sure he has a likkle suit to wear and he will be fineIf you don't fight for what you deserve, you deserve what you get.
We are > Fossil Fuels --- Bill McKibben 350.orgComment
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Re: Should I go?
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: DebsinNY</div><div class="ubbcode-body">He is 4. His father hasn't seen him in a month and all of a sudden his mother dies and he wants to have his "family" there to support him???? </div></div>sometimes it takes a traumatic event such as this to make people realize that they need family support. Don't let your bitterness from the events of your seperation and divorce cloud your judgement in regards to relationship between your son and HIS father.
child support should not be an "access" fee for a parent to see his or her child IMHO.....Comment
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Re: Should I go?
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: DebsinNY</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> I told him I will spit in her coffin as a goodbye gift. </div></div>
OMG!! [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/shocked.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/mad.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/shocked.gif[/img]
No matter how much you don't like somebody, to tell their grieving son something like <u>that</u> is just tasteless & hurtful in my opinion... [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/vomit.gif[/img]
Maybe you will understand that when your mother dies!
I would call you names too... [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70400-talktohand.gif[/img]
Edited to add: No you should NOT go, but you should allow him to have his son there... [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/frown.gif[/img]
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Re: Should I go?
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: DebsinNY</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> If I do end up going I told him I will spit in her coffin as a goodbye gift.</div></div>
This is sooo not right to even say it when he's mourning the death of his Mom .... even if you hate the lady! You asked for opinions so don't get mad at me [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70409-waytogo.gif[/img]
About the son going... depends on his age and whether he wants to... perhaps you should ask him.Comment
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Re: Should I go?
always endeavor to take the high road, kid, that way you never have to worry bout kharma. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70409-waytogo.gif[/img]Comment
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Re: Should I go?
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: TanyaAynat</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: DebsinNY</div><div class="ubbcode-body">He is 4. His father hasn't seen him in a month and all of a sudden his mother dies and he wants to have his "family" there to support him???? </div></div>sometimes it takes a traumatic event such as this to make people realize that they need family support. Don't let your bitterness from the events of your seperation and divorce cloud your judgement in regards to relationship between your son and HIS father.
child support should not be an "access" fee for a parent to see his or her child IMHO..... </div></div>
I agree. No matter what you felt for this woman, she was the child's grandparent and you shouldnt inflict your animosity on your child by denying him the right to attend his grandmother's funeral. She is dead, she cant hurt noone anymore but you can show that you are a better person by sending your son to show respect to his family memeber.
Remember the woman was your son's grandmother not because of any choice he made, but from the ones you have made. Dont punish him for that.Comment
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Re: Should I go?
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Empress_Nylah</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: TanyaAynat</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: DebsinNY</div><div class="ubbcode-body">He is 4. His father hasn't seen him in a month and all of a sudden his mother dies and he wants to have his "family" there to support him???? </div></div>sometimes it takes a traumatic event such as this to make people realize that they need family support. Don't let your bitterness from the events of your seperation and divorce cloud your judgement in regards to relationship between your son and HIS father.
child support should not be an "access" fee for a parent to see his or her child IMHO..... </div></div>
I agree. No matter what you felt for this woman, she was the child's grandparent and you shouldnt inflict your animosity on your child by denying him the right to attend his grandmother's funeral. She is dead, she cant hurt noone anymore but you can show that you are a better person by sending your son to show respect to his family memeber.
Remember the woman was your son's grandmother not because of any choice he made, but from the ones you have made. Dont punish him for that. </div></div>
[img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/notworthy.gif[/img] Nylah [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/notworthy.gif[/img]Comment
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Re: Should I go?
I hope your son doesnt hear you speak about his family like that!Comment
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Re: Should I go?
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Empress_Nylah</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: TanyaAynat</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: DebsinNY</div><div class="ubbcode-body">He is 4. His father hasn't seen him in a month and all of a sudden his mother dies and he wants to have his "family" there to support him???? </div></div>sometimes it takes a traumatic event such as this to make people realize that they need family support. Don't let your bitterness from the events of your seperation and divorce cloud your judgement in regards to relationship between your son and HIS father.
child support should not be an "access" fee for a parent to see his or her child IMHO..... </div></div>
I agree. No matter what you felt for this woman, she was the child's grandparent and you shouldnt inflict your animosity on your child by denying him the right to attend his grandmother's funeral. She is dead, she cant hurt noone anymore but you can show that you are a better person by sending your son to show respect to his family memeber.
Remember the woman was your son's grandmother not because of any choice he made, but from the ones you have made. Dont punish him for that. </div></div>
I are shocked [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/grin.gif[/img]Comment
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Re: Should I go?
Sorry if my reply was harsh, but having lost my mother, if someone said that to me, I would seriously go off on that someone...
Grief is a strange thing, if your "soon-to-be-ex" was violent before, just think what this grief and your words could do to that temper [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/scareyuh.gif[/img]
Be careful, and try to remember that you did love this man at one time...
Losing a parent is one of the toughest things you will ever go through, trust me [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/frown.gif[/img]Comment
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Re: Should I go?
[img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img] at Tanya
hell must have frozen over [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img]Comment
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