For Some Single Ladies

[sistagirl]

Re: For Some Single Ladies

Jedi, thats a wonderful dream [img]/forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

I had been reading TD which helped me to fully become comfortable in my marriage to the Lord and I was blessed to understand that the Lord loves our singleness as we are to "woo" him at this time and devote all of our love and affection unto him!!!

I know that when the Holy Spirit spoke to me I was happy and content in my singleness. I think some of my rebellion BECAUSE of that fact played a huge role in my adjustment to marriage. Marriage was not in my plans and I thank God for showering me with love for the man I am married to on the same day that he revealed I would marry him or else I think I would be in serious trouble. [img]/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

[Ephratahe]

Re: For Some Single Ladies

Like many here I've never been a part of this 'name and claim' phenomenon. I agree with Virtuous Woman's post, however, and anything I could say has already been said [img]/forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img] . I know that there is a strong moral to the story, but it was really funny too. Thanks Queen.

[churchgirl]

Re: For Some Single Ladies

I'm thoroughly enjoy this. Thanks for posting this Queen and thanks to all the responders as well. Our singles ministry held a seminar last Saturday entitled 'So you think you want to get married!' which was facilitated by our Pastor and First Lady and a couple of things really stood out in my mind.

1. Our First Lady mentioned to us that women are incubators. We give life things. Men on the other hand are logical and thinkers. Case in point; if a brother comes up to you and tell you 'you are a beautiful lady' we can take that statement and give life to it. Depending on our aim and desire we start saying to ourselves 'Oh..I think he likes me' and we feed on that thing as never before. So when you're around the brother you are act nervous and jittery and smile from ear to ear. Meanwhile the brother is looking at you like you are just plain crazy because he simply said what he meant and meant what he said without anything behind it. (I'm so reminded of my teen years in high school. [img]/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

2. Another point which stood out in my mind (and Virtuous Woman touched on this) is that we have to be complete in ourselves before we approach marriage. We cannot wait for someone to make us happy but rather for that person to add happiness to your happiness.

I'm somewhat young in my walk with God but have always grasp this scripture 'he that findeth a wife findeth a good thing' (Prov. 18:22). I was always taught that the man approaches you and not you him. If someone catches my eye I make my request known to God and let Him have His way. I've come to learn that I cannot be so focused on getting married and making it the number 1 priority in my life. It would make for a pretty miserable life. And trust me it doesn't help when you've got all these people asking you 'so when are you gonna get married?' pan dem

[Queen]

Re: For Some Single Ladies

Churchy you know what gets under my skin? When I go to weddings and get the pitiful pat and the sorrowful eyes looking at me and commenting "Don't worry, it'll be your turn soon...maybe next year." Gosh that use to drive me up a wall ugghhhh [img]/forums/images/graemlins/mad.gif[/img] Now I just smile and say, "In God's time He'll make all things beautiful in my life and not a moment sooner, I'm not in any rush." I get a surprised look and they quickly walk alway after that.

I was in a bridal train last summer and will be in one this summer, I'm just waiting for the "always a bridesmaid, never a bride" comment. People are so anxious for me, it's funny. Sometimes I want to tell them to take that anxiety and turn it into something good...like go work on being an intercessor for the body of Christ. DWL [img]/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

[Queen]

Re: For Some Single Ladies

As mentioned earlier I'm currently reading a book entitled "Lady In Waiting" I'm really enjoying this book and find myself re-reading segments of it. Here's a little section I think could be benefitial to our discussion.

To Tell The Truth

So there are two ways to get a man to notice you. The first way, “the body beautiful trap,” is to get his attention by how you look on the outside. This is a snare because looks don’t last. They are superficial. The second way is what caused Boaz to notice Ruth and Isaac to be drawn to Rebekah. A Lady of virtue is noticed because she has gained admiration for her godly character. Be truthful. Which approach represents you? Take the following test. Check the items in each column that describe you most often. Score each total of qualities on the two lists to see if you are developing inner or outer beauty most diligently.

(Personally, I put a score of 1 beside the character that best describes me this gave me a chance to see what area I need to work on). O.k. here’s the list.

A. Lady of Virtue VS. B. Body Beautiful

1A.) A person to whom all people are attracted (friendly) vs.

1B) Nice only to those who can help your dating status.

2A). Seeking God first. vs. B)Seeking a relationship first

3A) Interesting – with goals for yourself personally vs.
3B) “Shopping” – known to be looking for a husband.


4a) Becoming the lady God wants you to be vs.
4b) Waiting to be found

5a) Realistic vs. b) living in a romantic fantasy

6a) Truly interested in the person you date and his best interest vs.
6b) Looking for your future in the relationship

7a)One who is spiritually challenging vs. 7b) Exciting sensuality

8a) One who gives friendship vs. 8b) One who expects friendship.

9a) One who communicates verbally vs. 9b) A wallflower

10 a) Committed to trusting God vs. 10b) Clinging to a guy

11a) Prepared for lasting friendships vs. 11b) Playing games

12a) Open to other friendships vs . 12b) Possesive

13a) Secure in the Lord vs. 13b) Insecure without a “dream man”

14a) Building positive qualities in yourself vs. 14b) Wanting him now

15a) Trusting God vs. 15b) Trusting in schemes and plans to catch a man

16a) Patiently waiting vs. 16b) On the hunt (this one is funny DWL! [img]/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] )


Score yourself: weigh list A vs. list B


How did you do? Are you allowing the Holy Spirit to use the sands of singleness to create in you priceless pearls of virtuous character?

=========

We can compare notes later and learn from each other.

[churchgirl]

Re: For Some Single Ladies

Yuh si weh mi a deal wid Queen. When wi a pickney wi use to seh 'Mi naw cough but yuh a vomit" [img]/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] And the last person you'd expect such a trite comment from (So when are you getting married) would be a christian because you would think they'd know that things ought to be done in God's time. Cho!!

[Virtuos Woman]

Re: For Some Single Ladies

In light of this wonderful topic, I thought I would share what have become a source of inspiration for me for some time regarding my singleness and my waiting on God to do His thing in His time. The following should be every saved & single sister's manifestation of themselves:


I am Saved and Single

What makes you think that just because I am an attractive woman of Godly intelligence that I`m incomplete without a mate? Who told you that without a man Something`s missing from my life and if so what would that be?

LOVE?
I love myself and more importantly I love the Lord, He told me that when I delight myself in Him, He will give me the desires of my heart.

SECURITY?
I have everything I need according to His riches in glory.

INTIMACY?
Now, how`s a man gonna get to know me when he doesn`t even know who he is in the Lord? See my Father told me I`m above a ruby`s worth and a gem does not Seek, it is Sought. I`m single and that`s all right with me. See it`s not that I oppose relationships,it`s that I detest co-dependency. As a woman I know it`s not my role to chase after any man.

Esther 2:14 states "That I am to wait on my King and when he`s delighted in me He will call me by my name. My Lord does not intend for me to be needy or desperate. I am to be Cherished, Relished, Valued, Honoured.

It`s not my job to Convince him or Convict him of that, my mate will already know it, and consistently show it. He will stay on his kness Daily, not just to adore me, but to praise the Lord for the Virtuous Woman he has found.

So, when you see me by myself, I`m not alone, I know what I have coming to me. I`m Single and Saved and right now that`s all I need to be!!
AMEN!

Blessings my sistas!!

[ReggaeEbony]

Re: For Some Single Ladies

This is such a beautiful post. I was just wondering over the board and came upon this and I feel so blessed for reading this. In the past I too have followed my own heart even when I could see that this relationship was not for me, I jumped through every loop and over every barrier to be with this person. Now the problem with all of this hardworking that was going on, was that it wasn't ordained by the Lord and all I had was one heartache after the other. It got to the point that my brother told me that I was going to have a big cocoa on my head because the Lord kept on moving me away from the problem and I kept going back, just hitting my head against the wall.

Well I am happy to say, that I listened to the Lord and my life has been so wonderful since. I have received so many blessings, too many to count, and I can truly say it all came throught after I learned to let go and let God. At the moment I am single but I am having so much fun, I in myself don't necessarily want to change that, but I will do whatever the Lord instructs me, I have learned to wait and the Lord and all things will be done in His time and according to His will.

Thanks guy this is truly a great post.

[Wahalla]

Re: For Some Single Ladies

I got a simple solution.. A compromise that may not satify every one but one that may solve all these women problems....

The man marries them all... they have a husband which stikes me as the single fact they are after...

By the way if I had know there were this many desperate sex starved, husband obssesed, high moral character women then I would have joined a church!

[Guest]

Re: For Some Single Ladies

Wonderful piece Virtuous Woman.

It`s not my job to Convince him or Convict him of that, my mate will already know it, and consistently show it.

One of the things that we need to realize is that "all that glitters is not gold". A man may walks into church or elsewhere talking the talk and looking the part. His words may even be soothing to the ears. What is in his heart? What is his goals?

I agree and believe that if we continue to allow God to do His will in our lives we will not be faced with the challenge of convincing and convicting. Besides, I truly believe that the man is the head of his household and he must take that leadership role. If I have to be saying let's go church, let's pray, let's read the bible, etc., etc., I have no business being in that relationship.

[Guest]

Re: For Some Single Ladies

Originally posted by Wahalla:
[qb]By the way if I had know there were this many desperate sex starved, husband obssesed, high moral character women then I would have joined a church! [/qb]

and you came to that conclusion here????? [img]/forums/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img]

[Diplomat]

Re: For Some Single Ladies

Very interesting thread which I have been following from the beginning. Are guys allowed to contribute? [img]/forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

[jedi]

Re: For Some Single Ladies

Originally posted by Wahalla:
[qb] I got a simple solution.. A compromise that may not satify every one but one that may solve all these women problems....

The man marries them all... they have a husband which stikes me as the single fact they are after...

By the way if I had know there were this many desperate sex starved, husband obssesed, high moral character women then I would have joined a church! [/qb]

I knew I could count on you.

[Queen]

Re: For Some Single Ladies

Originally posted by CEW:
[qb] Very interesting thread which I have been following from the beginning. Are guys allowed to contribute? [img]/forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img] [/qb]

Oh yes, jump right in with the contributions.

[Wahalla]

Re: For Some Single Ladies

Originally posted by Compry:
[qb]

Originally posted by Wahalla:
[qb]By the way if I had know there were this many desperate sex starved, husband obssesed, high moral character women then I would have joined a church! [/qb]

and you came to that conclusion here????? [img]/forums/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img] [/qb]

Yes... surprising isnt it...