Divorce & Remarriage

[msgoody2shoes]

Re: Divorce & Remarriage

Originally posted by Compry:
[qb]

Originally posted by msgoody2shoes:
[qb]BUT, it is also taught that though they are free to divorce, they cannot remarry unless the other spouse dies. This is scriptural.

My church will not allow a double married person to hold their wedding in our sanctuary. Nor will they acknowledge the marriage. [/qb]

You've mentioned being divorced. You've also mentioned the desire to not be single. How do you deal with this rule in your church? [/qb]

All the same rules apply to me as well. I did divorce my "husband". Not because of infidelity or abuse or any other sexual immorality. My ex-husband was himself, a divorced man, but he hid that fact from me in order to hide other information. His ex-wife also hid that fact, but I cound out their marriage was performed legally, in Jamaica. My marriage will be annulled because of that. I had never been married before. According to the laws of God, I am single and free to marry to whomsoever I will, only in the
Lord. It will be my first marriage also.

I agree with the comments made by CEW. Some in my church believe that you can divorce a spouse for infidelity. If so, what happens when you remarry another Christian, and they fall and commit adultery? Do you divorce him/her and marry another Christian? And so on and so on? Would marrying in adultery be the lesser of two evils? Rather to marry in adultery, than to commit fornication for the rest of your life?

Some actions we take have consequences that follow us for the rest of our lives. That is why Paul admonished us to marry in the Lord. If there is infidelity, there should be efforts made to reconcile a broken commitment. It's not easy, not even if I were in that predicament. Thank God for mercy.

[Diplomat]

Re: Divorce & Remarriage

Originally posted by Compry:

Originally posted by CEW:
I'm assuming she simply did not want to get into an argument/discussion about it.

Wrong, but that's neither here nor there...however the saying goes.

We can only speculate but I agree, its neither here nor there.

Originally posted by CEW:
The divorcee who desires to remarry really leans heavily on the grace of God and His ability to forgive sins.

And so does the person who steals or kills or commits adultery or fornicates or cheats or lies or deceives or covets his neighbor or lusts or lies on his tax returns etc. etc. etc.

Exactly, as they are all fogivable sins. Not sure what the quoted verse has to do with the issue of remarriage though. Scriptually, no Church has any obligation to authorize remarriages among its membership outside of what has been defined, nor to allow any such persons to serve in positions of leadership, especially at the Pastoral level.

[Guest]

Re: Divorce & Remarriage

Originally posted by CEW:
[qb]Not sure what the quoted verse has to do with the issue of remarriage though.[/qb]

Not much...just one of my favourite verses and it happens to be about the grace of God.

[777]

Re: Divorce & Remarriage

what happens when you remarry another Christian, and they fall and commit adultery? Do you divorce him/her and marry another Christian? And so on and so on?

U know this thought came into mind when I answered in the beginning..
U gonna have to use this as an excuse to marry and remarry until u luck out..

Some actions we take have consequences that follow us for the rest of our lives. That is why Paul admonished us to marry in the Lord. If there is infidelity, there should be efforts made to reconcile a broken commitment. It's not easy, not even if I were in that predicament. Thank God for mercy.

[777]

Re: Divorce & Remarriage

You know my heart goes out for those saints that have been abused and hurt by bad marriages.
For those who havent gone thru that test, it might seem hard to understand, but as a child of God, we have to understand our brothers grief and burdens..
*sigh*
Just a note to let all the saints know that we are there for each other (spirtually, emotionally, physically) and my earnest prayer is that this board will be that medium to provide the friendship, hope, and love that every person/needs.
Be blessed, be well, but most of all, my brothers and sisters in Christ, be encouraged.. [img]/forums/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]ray:

[Guest]

Re: Divorce & Remarriage

Originally posted by 777:
what happens when you remarry another Christian, and they fall and commit adultery? Do you divorce him/her and marry another Christian? And so on and so on?

U know this thought came into mind when I answered in the beginning..
U gonna have to use this as an excuse to marry and remarry until u luck out..

I find this rather sad. I started this thread in this forum because I was referring to Christians who find themselves in this horrible situation. I would hope that Christians would understand and learn from their first mistakes and not make it again.

[777]

Re: Divorce & Remarriage

hint to Ms Compry..

me is done..

[Guest]

Re: Divorce & Remarriage

Originally posted by CEW:
[qb]

Originally posted by Compry:

I attended a marriage seminar at my church a few weeks ago and the speaker was very adamant about her views on "no divorce". I interrupted and explain some people's realities of what they are living with or what they ran away from. She was stopped in her tracks and could no longer sing the same tune.

I'm assuming she simply did not want to get into an argument/discussion about it. While it is true that some marriages seem beyond repair, it does not change the fact that the Bible does not allow room for divorce outside of what is stated within its pages. Jesus reaffirmed the permanence of marriage, and did point out that divorce was allowed under the law - and the same today - simply because of the hardness of the heart but from the beginning, it was not a part of God's plan.

Don't get me wrong, I am not an advocate of divorce as it is one of the most horrible thing that a person has to go through. I will encourage therapy both in the church and secular. However, if the marriage is beyond repairs for whatever reason and they legally divorced, I just don't understand why some churches are saying no to remarriage.

The reason is simple: the Bible makes no room for it outside of sexual immorality. Churches that 'allow' it do so because they recognize that while God hates divorce, it is not an unforgivable sin. That sin can be confessed and forgiven, but it does not change the fact that the granting of a divorce petition, cannot change what God joined together in the first place. This is the position that some Churches do recognize, that even with a divorce, the original union can only be undone by the death of either partner. Jesus and Paul made the very same point.

The divorcee who desires to remarry really leans heavily on the grace of God and His ability to forgive sins. I somehow think that even if He winks at the first - which I am not saying He does - no doubt the message on the second is to make sure it does not happen again. That some Christians are directly responsible for the mess they find themselves in cannot go unacknowledged.

Edited for typo. [/qb]

Wow! I can't believe my eyes is this really CEW on divorce and remarriage? I thought I was the only one that had grasped that concept...so happy you now see this topic in a new light.

[Diplomat]

Re: Divorce & Remarriage

Originally posted by Jedi l:

Wow! I can't believe my eyes is this really CEW on divorce and remarriage? I thought I was the only one that had grasped that concept...so happy you now see this topic in a new light.

A new light??? [img]/forums/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img] When have I ever said anything differently?

[PLUM]

Re: Divorce & Remarriage

[QUOTE]Originally posted by CEW:
[qb]

Originally posted by Compry:

The divorcee who desires to remarry really leans heavily on the grace of God and His ability to forgive sins. I somehow think that even if He winks at the first - which I am not saying He does - no doubt the message on the second is to make sure it does not happen again. That some Christians are directly responsible for the mess they find themselves in cannot go unacknowledged.

Edited for typo. [/qb]

Please explain this in depth. It sounds very funny and I don't want to misunderstand your point. Especially the part that says 'really leans on the grace of God and His ability to forgive sins'. Is that what we are to do daily as we pray, asking Him to forgive us for our sins being that we have forgiven those that have sinned against us?

[Diplomat]

Re: Divorce & Remarriage

Originally posted by PLUM:
Please explain this in depth. It sounds very funny and I don't want to misunderstand your point. Especially the part that says 'really leans on the grace of God and His ability to forgive sins'. Is that what we are to do daily as we pray, asking Him to forgive us for our sins being that we have forgiven those that have sinned against us?

First and foremost, welcome to F&R.

There are really two parts to your question. Firstly, we are on the topic of divorce and remarriage, and the Bible does teach that divorce is not a part of God's plan. Theologically, any deviation from God's plan is a sin - which really means 'missing the mark' - and so some Churches teach that the Christian who has experienced divorce and desires remarriage, can confess that sin (that of divorce) and because it is not an unforgivable sin, they can trust the grace of God to take care of it. That is what I meant when I say such a one "leans heavily on the grace of God and His ability to forgive sins."

Regarding the second part of your question, we should pray daily for the forgiveness of sins but I do strongly believe that we can only truly do so when we ourselves have extended forgiveness to those who have wronged us. The extent to which we are forgiven is really dependent on the extent to which we forgive.

[Guest]

Re: Divorce & Remarriage

Originally posted by CEW:
[qb]

Originally posted by Jedi l:

Wow! I can't believe my eyes is this really CEW on divorce and remarriage? I thought I was the only one that had grasped that concept...so happy you now see this topic in a new light.

A new light??? [img]/forums/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img] When have I ever said anything differently? [/qb]

Hmmm! short memory...but what you wrote above is certainly a far cry from a couple months ago, particularly your second paragraph on the subject of remarriage.

Funny though we humans can certainly twist thoughts and word of the Bible to make it more comfortable to fit. I should have really said you are coming closer to what Jesus expressly SAID...but I guess hey that is a tall order for many, and afterall you do make a good point about relying heavily on God's forgiveness and grace.

So here is a question for you, assuming that I who believe that there is no real marriage to the second person since I am bound to the first one till death, what would I call the union to the second one? Seriously I would like to hear your thoughts on this.

[Diplomat]

Re: Divorce & Remarriage

Originally posted by Jedi l:
Hmmm! short memory...but what you wrote above is certainly a far cry from a couple months ago, particularly your second paragraph on the subject of remarriage.

I am more willing to trust your memory if I can see what I said to the contrary in black and white. Quite frankly, what I have stated have always been my position and anyone with whom I have had any discussion on the issue of divorce and remarriage knows that.

Funny though we humans can certainly twist thoughts and word of the Bible to make it more comfortable to fit. I should have really said you are coming closer to what Jesus expressly SAID...but I guess hey that is a tall order for many, and afterall you do make a good point about relying heavily on God's forgiveness and grace.

So here is a question for you, assuming that I who believe that there is no real marriage to the second person since I am bound to the first one till death, what would I call the union to the second one? Seriously I would like to hear your thoughts on this.

According to Biblical teaching, unless there was fornication in the first marriage, then the person remarrying has commited adultery. The question therefore becomes, is that an unforgivable sin? If God forgives the adultery, is the divorced party still bound by the first marriage? IMHO, only God can break the marital bond and quite frankly, there is nowhere in scriptures that says forgiving the act of divorce and the subsequent adultery caused by the remarriage does or does not involve the breaking of the first marital bond. I do think that is where the believer relies heavily on God's grace. The same commandments that includes "Thou shalt not commit adultery" also includes "Thou shalt not kill", and I do not think we think twice about whether or not God forgives the murderer.

Another twist to this is that God's forgiveness involves the full removal of the sin being forgiven. It is as if it did not happen. What can we deduce from that?

You asked a very interesting question indeed. I do not think that the person who does not believe in the "validity" of the second marriage would consider remarriage. The person to do so would definitely have to believe that God's forgiveness broke the initial bond, though there is nowhere in scripture that directly justifies that position.

[acceptedtoday]

Re: Divorce & Remarriage

Promised myself to stay out of this topic

Why does fornication dissolve a marriage bond?

Paul said I speak to those who know the law. Know ye not that a woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives for if she marries another while he is alive she will be called an adulturest.
But if her husband be dead, she is free to marry another.
Paul continued that we were married to the law once, the law was a faithful partner, we could not live up to the holiness of the law.
We could never be free from this legalistic taskmaster. So to be free we had to die so that we could break our bond with the law and remarry Jesus.

So the scripture does acknowledge remarriage.

But the Law was holy, so it could not die since it would not commit adultery
Therefore are ye dead to sin, so ye may marry another, Jesus Christ.

Two things are evident here, if the law could sin we could break the bond.

Simarily if our partner sins unto death the bonds are broken. Under the law all moral sins bore the death penalty.

Today by grace, we forgive. Jesus said Moses allowed divorce because of the hardness of men's heart - no forgiveness - it was not intended by God for us not to forgive.

The law did not pronounce forgiveness, those caught in adultery were killed, so if her husband committed adultery she was free to marry another.

The issue then is whether one exercises law or grace to a fallen spouse, Jesus clearly expouses the higher road of grace.

However realising many will not forgive because of hardness of heart he relented that the sexual infidelity cause an exception.

Now if Jesus says it is an exception it is an exception.

Paul introduces the disertion situation, he advocates if the unbeliever departs then the believer is no longer bonded.

Paul is using the same bond principle for marriage in Romans as he is in Corinthians, however many says he means remain unmarried. He does not say that he says quite plainly the believer is no longer bound. The marriage is broken.

A lot of what we view of marriage and divorce is cultural. The scripture clearly allows for divorce and remarriage, it is not advertised how to just like it is not advertised that "backsliders can be redeemed" but we know they can be.

God hates a divorce but he does not disallow it or remarriage under the right conditions. He merely sets a standard that preists in the old testament not be married to a divorced woman.

[Guest]

Re: Divorce & Remarriage

Originally posted by accepted2:
[qb] Promised myself to stay out of this topic [/qb]

I'm glad you didn't. Thanks for your input.