Should Christian women look different?

[Diplomat]

Re: Should Christian women look different?

Tropicana: As I told you once, thank God He spared you from getting together with any of these "men". That kind of stuff is called negative attention. I recall sometime ago seeing someone in my then Church who was absolutely beautiful. Very modestly dressed but very classy, but that wasn't what caught my eye. It was the tears flowing down her face during Praise & Worship. There are all kinds of attention that comes as a result of how men are wired, and anything that stimulates the loins of the male - and some females - will bring attention. Have you noticed those ads where you wonder if it is the woman being sold or the car/cologne/whatever? Enough said ...

[Beluved]

Re: Should Christian women look different?

Originally posted by Tropicana:
Well Beluved, your advice does have credibility as you are a Black Christian woman who has beat the odds and suceeded in being happliy married. Would you be willing to post your success story to provide us single women with some encouragements. I will post the link to that thread in a second.

Just checked...unfortunately that thread is gone but I will happily start a new one if you are willing to share your story.

The thread about '<a href="http://www.jamaicans.com/ubb/ultimatebb.php?ubb=get_topic;f=7;t=002378" target="_blank">
Single and content</a>' is still alive and active is that the thread you are referring to?..

[Mutty]

Re: Should Christian women look different?

Can I ask a question? What are Christian women supposed to wear at a beach outing - that is, if their church even allows beach outings?

[Virtuos Woman]

Re: Should Christian women look different?

Originally posted by Tropicana:

It will be interesting to see if you are singing the same song if you reach your early 40s and are still single.[/QB][/QUOTE]

My dear sister in Christ, I have no idea of the things that God has in store for me, but one thing I do know if I continue to walk in His will, and allow my steps to be ordered by Him then He will give me the grace to see me through any and every thing. Truth of the matter is before coming into the church I had every intention of being married by age 25 and having two kids before age 30. Now obviously that was my plan, not God's and I had to adjust.

I have since learned after going back to church that God makes no mistakes, and whenever He does something, not only does He do it well but He also does it right on time. That is where our timing and God's timing are completely different, but have no fear He is never late.

Tropi, I am completely sold out to God, and by that I wait on Him to make all the necessary changes in my life. Sure I would like to be married before my 40's, but if I am not and I know it's God's will that I am not married - then honey I will still be singing the same song. Knowing who you are in God makes all the difference in how you relate to life's issues. The scripture tells me that if I delight myself in Him, then He will give me the desires of my heart. God is not a man that He should lie, so I take Him at His word. I know that if I live my life the way He expects and wants me to, then He will take care of the rest.

My relationship with God allows me to believe without wavering that when He sends me that man then it will be the right time. I may be thinking now that I am ready but God who created me and in fact knew me before I was even formed in my mother's womb knows better. He knows things about me that I am not even aware of as yet, so He knows exactly when to send my other half my way. Until then I am learning to be content in whatever state I am, and knowing that His strength is made perfect in my weakness.

[RollinCalf]

Re: Should Christian women look different?

Depends on your assets.

[Ivory]

Re: Should Christian women look different?

I don't wear makeup, not even lipstick. If you could see the way I dress, most definately not the latest styles.

And I still get bothered/noticed by the men. Why is so much emphasis put on how we dress, and if men will notice us? This is ridiculous. Why are we dwelling on the fact that this one male says he does not find black women attractive? SO WHAT. That is his opinion. Yes, there may be more men with those opinions, but that is their loss.

So why do you need to change your style of dress? One day your prince charming will come along. Till then dress the way that makes you feel most comfortable. Be yourself.

When I walk through the mall in grey sweats hair all fuzzy, because I couldn't have been bothered with it, I know I feel like the Queen that I am. Why? Because I am myself.

[Tropicana]

Re: Should Christian women look different?

No Beluved it was the thread about Success Stories of Jamaican Married Couples. I will revive it in 2 seconds.

[jedi]

Re: Should Christian women look different?

Originally posted by Mutty - The return:
[qb]Can I ask a question? What are Christian women supposed to wear at a beach outing - that is, if their church even allows beach outings?[/qb]

Well mutty my church has never had a beach outing.
But I go to the beach quite often in the summer as I love to swim. I wear knickers and a tee shirt with my sneakers and socks.

[Mutty]

Re: Should Christian women look different?

Thanks for the visions Jedi. [img]/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

[Guest]

Re: Should Christian women look different?

Everyone can talk until they are blue in the face...Tropicana is looking at her situation in a totally different manner and I believe most of it is based on her being hurt. Once she changes her attitude and start to focus more on her relationship with God you'll see a totally different person.

We can all state our opinion but until Tropicana is ready to let go and let God, there isn't much that anyone here can do to change her mind.

[Tropicana]

Re: Should Christian women look different?

So what did we decide in response to the original question. My answer is we should look different but it's becoming increasingly difficult to stick with that if you're a single Christian woman who does not wish to be ignored.

[NYer]

Re: Should Christian women look different?

If a man is only after me because of my physical attributes and nothing about my mind or personality stimulates him, then I don't want to be with this shallow individual in the first place.

Amen. I agree with pretty much everything else Virtuous Woman posted.

If you trust God (or whatever name you have for that spiritual force) you can let go and let God do the work and know that the result will be the right one, much better than what you could have done by yourself. Will you be married at the age you think you should - maybe, maybe not, maybe there is no marriage at all....but if you trust God to bring the best into your life - for you - then it doesn't matter.

That has been my experience.

[fOrTyLeGz]

Re: Should Christian women look different?

Originally posted by RollinCalf:

"Christian men getting a bad rap" ? Are you kidding me CEW ? No wonder Tropicana is cannot get a straight answer. Why won’t anyone be honest with her ?

Miss T, let me give you the facts yaw missis.

The fact of the matter is that it is not pretty out there for women over the age of thirty, especially if time and child bearing have not been good to you. My dear, I don’t care if he has a Bible in each hand and can recite Genesis to Revelation backwards and forwards. men are men, period.

Not saying that there are not mature, understanding men out there who are looking for a serious relationship and not a sleazy affair or one night stand, men whose heads are not turned by every short skirt and low cut blouse that passes their way, but get this .....they are in the minority !!! How do I know this ? Here’s my secret...I am a man !

So what is a woman in your situation to do ?

Well it ruff but hush. Stop trying to compete with the “twenty somethings”. You won’t attract the younger men, may turn off the older guys who would interest you, and worst of all, may be mistaken for something that you are not.

So tek my foolish advice. Be yourself and be open to men whom you might not have given the time of day years ago. As a seriously ugly man who had some problems of my own some years ago, I can tell you that you might be surprised to find that there are diamonds in the rough out there that may well be interested that you might be unaware of.

And here's the best part....the young curvy twenty somethings no want dem !

Nice! VERY nice.

[Tropicana]

Re: Should Christian women look different?

I agree. RC said it best of all.

[fOrTyLeGz]

Re: Should Christian women look different?

Originally posted by Tropicana:

Thank you RollinCalf...finally an honest answer instead of just platitudes. It's true I do have a lot of men interested in me who I wouldn't even consider.

Amazing. After all this time we see that there are men interested in you! I swear I thought no man had shown any interest in you for years.

Originally posted by Tropicana:

The ones I am interested in won't give ME the time of day. They are too busy chasing the young blondes in skimply clothing...and these are grown men in their 40s who profess to be Christians.

So this IS a different story. You want what you can't get, and you blame it on other women being more slutty than you. And also, the men that you like somehow have BAD taste. And the MEN who do like you, probably think that you have bad taste in men.