Originally posted by geocox:
[qb]Jamaican71, YES!!!! Wile I lived in Oklahoma City I was in a year long relationship with a Baptist Ministers Daughter. We faced constant ridicule and hatful conversations. We were hated by the Whites and Blacks!!! This was when the south was KKK big time!! I AM Colorblind! G[/qb]
geocox - I hope you weren't offended for me asking. I think it's so cool that you are like that! You rarely hear about white male/black female relationships and it's refreshing to see that you are colorblind! I wasn't sure if you sampled it for the first time in Jamaica then got hooked or you were hooked before you even got there!
Originally posted by Marilyn:
[qb]Now the real pity would be if you went to Jamaica and not even a Gigolo would flirt with you and try to pick you up. Then Houston, we would have a problem.[/qb]
Originally posted by Marilyn:
[qb]Now the real pity would be if you went to Jamaica and not even a Gigolo would flirt with you and try to pick you up. Then Houston, we would have a problem.[/qb]
I could say a lot on this topic but it wouldn't be anything new. The only thing I do want to say is that I'm still living in Kingston and have experience with dealing with the men outside of Negril... and they are just as bad even the ones with jobs.
I have been to over 20 countries and lived in the Europe also. The men here are some of the most difficult to deal with. So I don't really buy in that there are all types of men everywhere... well yes there are put there are more... liars and gigolos here then most places i've been. I am still living with the man that I met in Negril and I still can't trust him. We've been together for over a year now. It's sure hard to get rid of them once they move in!
Where I work I see the men cheating on their wives, girlfriends, etc. all the time and it seems acceptable. Some take them to work functions... they aren't ashamed of what they are doing and actually proud of it.
I'm sure there are some good ones out there but the odds are against you. But I sure had fun visiting Jamaica... living here is a lot different.
Thanks for that candid reply Amanda - it addresses my question earlier about Jamaican men's attitudes to relationships, that noone seemed to want to answer. Course I understand we don't want to stereotype the culture as a whole, but I too have seen a couple of instances where Jamaican men were openly cheating on their wives/girlfriends in front of friends, family and colleagues, and wondered if it was accepted since it was so openly displayed... It was surprising to me, or maybe I'm just naive. [img]/forums/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]
Dardar,
I too recently left the man whom all believed was my soul mate, so why did he not tell me the whole story of his runnings??
Well, if God had not sent two angels down(respectively named:Queen&Marilyn) my recent trip to visit him (which when the truth unfolded), could have been devasting. But, the ladies took me under their wings and I had a better vacation without him. I plan on joining this ladies for the rest of my life to Jamaica. Thank God for them! [img]/forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]
Originally posted by Connie:
[qb]Dardar,
I too recently left the man whom all believed was my soul mate, so why did he not tell me the whole story of his runnings??
Well, if God had not sent two angels down(respectively named:Queen&Marilyn) my recent trip to visit him (which when the truth unfolded), could have been devasting. But, the ladies took me under their wings and I had a better vacation without him. I plan on joining this ladies for the rest of my life to Jamaica. Thank God for them! [img]/forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img] [/qb]
Marilyn,
I knew the minute you blew in to my world, I said to myself: "Self" she has got her **** together. You could not have expressed this issue any better, of how people feel or think about you, when discussing the pro/cons of Jamaica. The majority of the world, cannot fathom how come you found such a place, as big as this planet is that you can be excited about traveling to; without becoming critical.
Amanda ATL,
I have a question for you? Are you happy in current situation, living in Kingston? It sounds like you are involved in an negative environment, only you and God could change.
And to ALL OF THE LADIES:
When you visit Jamaica, from my experiences, you need to go and learn how to show "yourselves" [img]/forums/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img] a good time. It's okay to have your egos boosted, but it doesn't necessarily mean that these people need to crowd your space. Your space is your space, and if you let that be known to whomever, you will be respected for that. I know that there are hardheads out there, but they too have too realize that they cannot have their way all of time.
Originally posted by Connie:
[qb]Amanda ATL,
I have a question for you? Are you happy in current situation, living in Kingston? It sounds like you are involved in an negative environment, only you and God could change.
And to ALL OF THE LADIES:
When you visit Jamaica, from my experiences, you need to go and learn how to show "yourselves" [img]/forums/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img] a good time. It's okay to have your egos boosted, but it doesn't necessarily mean that these people need to crowd your space. Your space is your space, and if you let that be known to whomever, you will be respected for that. I know that there are hardheads out there, but they too have too realize that they cannot have their way all of time.[/qb]
As far as my happiness goes... it depends on the day you ask me the question. I have realized that the current guy I'm with is not who I want to marry, which I think it took me living with him to figure out. Seeing him on long weekend every few weeks or a week here and there is totally different. I am not happy with a lot of my current situation. I can't get him to move out or even get a job. I have thought about getting the police to get him out but that would most likely cause a lot more problems. I have files a few reports though in case I disappear one day. It's definately not a good situation, but it is temporary. I have other things to worry about so I just let him stay for now. He does the house keeping, laundry and cooking... so he earns his keep most of the time.
I don't love Kingston like I love Negril... it's totally different. I lived in Negril for 3 months and loved it everyday, but had to move here for a better job. Right now I'm just concentrating on my job and hope to make a diffence. I have a big project that is coming up that is going to have a good impact on Jamaica... I can't really say too much about it. Has to do with the government. My main reason for my distress is my money situation here. I have never had to live the way I'm living now. I had a 6 figure salary in that states and now I can barely afford rent and food.... so I'm a little stressed over that situation. I'm just not ready to give up and go home yet. I want to accomplish a few things first.
Everytime I go back to Jamaica I took a new friend with me. When I closed my eyes and pointed to the map on where I would go to escape the madness of the states 4 years ago my soul cried go to Jamaica. The travel agent said no you can't go by yourself its cheaper with someone. I told her I didn't care she said its better go find someone and come back. So I chose this guy reluctantly told him it was a free trip and of course he pissed me off but here I had this extra ticket bought and paid for and no one to go. So I took my best friend who had just gotten married. Her husband took her to the Poconos I took her to Jamaica [img]/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] We and Jamaica fell in love instantaneously! We saw stella but didn't go for that.. we wanted to go on the highest mountain and have a chat with the creator, sip a lit rum punch, swim and party. Meeting those gorgeous men was an added bonus. It was my birthday week too. They make you feel like a bright star in the universe. So I can see how someone with low self esteem can chew it all up. She was more cautious and I threw caution to the wind.. yeah I could have gotten in some real sticky situations but for some reason I had no fear. I'm kind of glad I didn't know about this site before I start visiting cause most of it scares me to death. I probably wouldn't have enjoyed myself as much. Where I grew up- pahaaalease... Kingston??? huh dangerous I've seen more killing, death and disease growing up in the hood its like living in a third world country. Except the 3rd world country usually has the ocean close by. Crime, hunger, poverty, men trying to use women, having multiple women... yeah we got that [img]/forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img] They built tunnels there so the people who work in the city don't have to touch the ground. Just get in their cars and go home to the burbs. My girlfriend was terrified. Love dont go there, Love dont do this, dont do that..., Love how long have you known him. I don't need to know someone whose spending money buying me drinks all night, told him I had a girlfriend with me and he bought all her drinks too. Upps time to go back to the resort ya go back. No promises. We'll on my second trip one finally grabbed my eye because he wouldn't remove himself from my sight... for two years he chased me ending with him arriving in the states without my help. ..and legally too. How cool is that lol. Because of this board THANK YOU DEAR K... I put him through all kind of test to prove he wasn't using me. I never sent money, never promised money, dont have any money lol...the most I do is call. Not sending for him, I'm filing for the AOS but he had to pay all the fees.. get his self on a plane, and bring his stuff a bro has more clothes than I do! He took me to meet his momma, his daddy, his sister, his cousins, his uncle.. and still I came to DearK and was like their all in on it!! Everytime I see someone right I met someone in JA in the back of my mind i'm saying is it him?? but ya know what heck if he's chased after me for two years and there are far more easy targets out there I decided to finally say yeah i'll be your wife cause I love him something awful. Still facing the reality that there may be a possibility there's some other motive.. i'm going to play this fantasy out cause if he doesn't love me he's playing an academy award winning roll. It is important to be careful with your heart its precious, with your life and make good choices. This is an excellent post! Be in love with yourself first then no one can use you for anything you dont want to be used for. Last but not least you train people how to treat you I dont care if your on vacation or home. Of course my beloved has friends and family whispering in his ear that I should be doing this that and the other thing we've had a couple of fights about it and I stood my ground which is hey... there are far easier targets u want someone to pay your way find one! [img]/forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img] I need a strong man I dont care where he lives. I dont have a problem saying good luck! okay enough ramblings... carry on and women everywhere who find yourself there... ENJOY YOURSELF...theres nothing like it in the world but be careful!
alright ive been gone awhile been busy opening a business so I can dig myself in deep enough that I cant possibly have time to go back to Jamaica.What happened Love c r ? What happens when you get involved with a gigilo and then find out the truth,he marries a crazy white woman from the states she tries to kill u on your last trip to jamaica, and then tells u that if you ever come back to Jamaica she will kill you? You let this woman keep u from ever going back when in reality u have no interest in the man at all? Did, but dont now. I wake up 4 days aweek missing jamaica and all my friends, family and wonder will she ever leave so I will be safe so I too can go back to my favorite place in the world? Or do I dig myself so deeply in responsibility that I cant leave. I miss Jamaica the people, the food, the way it makes me feeel. Another winter is upon me and the last two I was able to spend there. I live in the mts and it is cold I love being there when its all cold Here. Looking for a place in Jamaica in this winter where I can be safe from crazy women threatning to kill me....enough said
When you've completed setting up your business Ms. Speaks, we will vacation together [img]/forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img] and stay where ever you want to stay. Me and all my friends will be with you [img]/forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img] . Fear is very paralyzing trust me I know. But ya can't let it keep you from living, from loving, from just being. She may be crazy but please believe me she ain't that crazy. You'll go back - JA is like a drug that you gotta have even if you've been through rehab. You dont have to share the same space as she..
boyfriend #1 threatened to kill me, then himself, if i dis da program. i stayed away for four years. (went to st maarten twice during that time.) "cirumstance" (fate?) brought me back. my mother was letting me use her timeshare for my 30th bday and the only thing available was negril. it wasnt long before his peoples tipped him off that i was back and i was confronted with him once more. he tried to put on the good guy act but i was well aware of his violent side just underneath...even though i helped pay for his car many years prior, he offered to take me and my friend to the airport for the low, low price of $60.US. lol i wouldnt have gone for free. once i met someone new, he didnt bother trying to win me back...or kill me.
fear can keep you up all night, but faith makes one fine pillow.
been a victim of fear, and at times with good reason...crow, i hope that you will be able to return to jamaica one day. good luck with your new business. this is an important thing to focus on and jamaica will be there for you when it is time, when you are ready.
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