I am one of the people on your long ignore list? I have addressed you 2x in the thread, and you have ignored me. There is a difference between disagreeing w/ someone and insulting them, and I bet if you check your ignore list, the majority of those people did not ignore you but merely disagreed w/ your POV.
Can someone not on her ignore list relay this message to her
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Wahalla</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: CEW</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Wahalla</div><div class="ubbcode-body">are you not offened by the way black men are constantly diminished ? </div></div>
In threads of this nature, no, because I realize the opinions of the thread starter do not necessarily mirror those of black women in general. There are far more black women (and some of other races) who love and support their black men than there are those who constantly try to emasculate them and make them feel inferior. </div></div>
As so many of my friends are black and Jamaican and struggle against personal and societal demons I find that these near constant simplistic unrealistic homilies diminsh them.. Ffrankly I dont think you nor any other men on here are any different from the lumpen mass of Jamaicans.. Yet from these posting I find it eerily scary that so many are being summerily dismissed as wothless.. The danger is that these attacks becomes self fulfilling... Sterotypes being confirmed by force multipliers... As men are we saints as husbands or parnters... no neiother are we wastrals or spongers drug takers alcoholics.. (Me I indulge in Kat, Coca leaf, tobaco,)... The weasl words that are put in to be used to say I did not imply your friend are included in the worthless majority dont take away you insult the majority, my friends are the majority.... </div></div>
Oh, I agree but in some things before getting bent out of shape over it, I have found it sometimes helpful to consider the source. I'm going out on a limb to say that Tropicana's perspectives may be shaped by her experiences, or probable lack thereof, and so while she's entitled to them, if they represented the POV of black women in general, then we would have a real problem. In fairness she hasn't said black men are dumb, losers, free-loaders or whatever other negative adjectives we want to use. Just that she has set her standards so high that in her opinion, it is unlikely that a black man can reach them. Or she hasn't met one yet who can. That isn't necessarily the black man's fault. Just maybe the standards are unrealistic/unreasonable, but who is to say? What I do know is that there are some high-school drop outs that are making far more money than I do, so maybe her assessment of the black man's potential is all superficial.
aka ChurchDude. I want that moniker back! Until then....
"Sometimes you have to let go to see if there was anything worth holding on to" ~ Anon
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Wahalla</div><div class="ubbcode-body">As so many of my friends are black and Jamaican and struggle against personal and societal demons <span style="font-weight: bold">I find that these near constant simplistic unrealistic homilies diminsh them.. </span>Ffrankly I dont think you nor any other men on here are any different from the lumpen mass of Jamaicans.. Yet from these posting I find it eerily scary that so many are being summerily dismissed as wothless.. The danger is that these attacks becomes self fulfilling... Sterotypes being confirmed by force multipliers... As men are we saints as husbands or parnters... no neiother are we wastrals or spongers drug takers alcoholics.. (Me I indulge in Kat, Coca leaf, tobaco,)... The weasl words that are put in to be used to say I did not imply your friend are included in the worthless majority dont take away you insult the majority, my friends are the majority.... </div></div>
welcome to the world of the black woman. we, too, constantly struggle against stereotypes and summary dismissals of our motivations and worth - often from black men.
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: dr. bones</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> I am one of the people on your long ignore list? I have addressed you 2x in the thread, and you have ignored me. There is a difference between disagreeing w/ someone and insulting them, and I bet if you check your ignore list, the majority of those people did not ignore you but merely disagreed w/ your POV.
Can someone not on her ignore list relay this message to her </div></div>
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: CEW</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> Oh, I agree but in some things before getting bent out of shape over it, I have found it sometimes helpful to consider the source. I'm going out on a limb to say that Tropicana's perspectives may be shaped by her experiences, or probable lack thereof, and so while she's entitled to them, if they represented the POV of black women in general, then we would have a real problem. In fairness she hasn't said black men are dumb, losers, free-loaders or whatever other negative adjectives we want to use. Just that she has set her standards so high that in her opinion, it is unlikely that a black man can reach them. Or she hasn't met one yet who can. That isn't necessarily the black man's fault. Just maybe the standards are unrealistic/unreasonable, but who is to say? What I do know is that there are some high-school drop outs that are making far more money than I do, so maybe her assessment of the black man's potential is all superficial. </div></div>
The biggest mistake I find that MOST black men make, is to assume that the standards that progressive and ambitious black women set are unreachable.
Why should black women who work hard and have high hopes and high standards compromise them because SOME lazy black man decides not to reach for the stars?
Where are those black men who once did not see any obstacles/barriers and would be willing to do whatever it takes to climb to the top and will accept nothing but the biggest and the best? What the heck is going on with our excuse-making black men who instead of looking to UPGRADE are desperately seeking someone to blame?
I pray everyday for my daughters, because I would hang them high if they ever settle. They BETTER decide on maintaining the STANDARDS that I have instilled in them or hell will pay. Right now I am working hard on one who thinks she can change this man with habits that would make anyone puke, but thank God, she does not seem very serious about him.
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Runnah</div><div class="ubbcode-body">The biggest mistake I find that MOST black men make, is to assume that the standards that progressive and ambitious black women set are unreachable.</div></div>
Your use of the word "most" certainly negates your argument. Then again the defintion of both "standards" and "progressive and ambitious" are both extremely subjective. We talk about the plight of the black man and his struggles to find his place in a society hostile to his history, and which imposes artificial barriers on his progress and what he can attain, yet some of these "progressive and ambitious black women" hold these men to the same educational and economic standards as their male white counterparts. Something wrong with that picture?
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Why should black women who work hard and have high hopes and high standards compromise them because SOME lazy black man decides not to reach for the stars?</div></div>
I haven't read anything in this thread where anyone suggests women should compromise. But if one expects to find a black man with multiple degrees, $100K+ income, BMW (or whatever else) on every street ocrner, it's not gonna happen. But then again, the blue-collared worker with the 10-year old truck just might be making more money and is far more at ease with himself and life in general. One just never know.
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Where are those black men who once did not see any obstacles/barriers and would be willing to do whatever it takes to climb to the top and will accept nothing but the biggest and the best? What the heck is going on with our excuse-making black men who instead of looking to UPGRADE are desperately seeking someone to blame?</div></div>
Just maybe much of those ones have had enough of the emasculation and opted to go elsewhere? Or maybe if they found the strong black woman to speak to their minds instead of comparing them with others, and who would support their efforts, they could then realize their potential? Not every black woman (or man for that matter) will find that ready made ideal person out there, but sometimes buried beneath the ashes is a Phoenix waiting to rise.
aka ChurchDude. I want that moniker back! Until then....
"Sometimes you have to let go to see if there was anything worth holding on to" ~ Anon
I have said mi done talk but mi not going stand by and let <span style="font-weight: bold">ANYONE </span> admin. or admin not <span style="font-weight: bold"> <span style="font-size: 14pt"> BLATANTLY</span> </span> misrepresent what I have said and let untruths go unchallenged:
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: CEW</div><div class="ubbcode-body">In fairness she hasn't said black men are dumb, losers, free-loaders or whatever other negative adjectives we want to use.
</div></div>
HELLO!! EXACTLY!!
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: CEW</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
Just that she has set her standards so high that in her opinion, it is unlikely that a black man can reach them. </div></div>
<span style="font-weight: bold"> STOP TELL LIE!!</span> This is an <span style="font-weight: bold">out and out fabrication</span>. I have NEVER said that and give me friggen break about high standatds. You call this high standards....these are just basics:
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Tropicana</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><ul style="list-style-type: disc">[*]to have a job that pays a liveable wage so that she won't have to work out her soul case and support him and the children[*]not scew around on her[*]be a partner and heaven forbid share the household chores[*]be a partner and heaven forbid share baby and child care[*]not do drugs or drink excessively[/list]</div></div>
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: CEW</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Or she hasn't met one yet who can. </div></div>
I have <span style="font-weight: bold">NEVER </span> said that. Shame on you CEW!!
Again stop tell lie. I have met MANY black men who meet these criteria including my own father but unfortunately they are married. I rarely meet Black <span style="font-weight: bold"> SINGLE</span> men who meet these criteria. That does not mean they don't exist.
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: CEW</div><div class="ubbcode-body">That isn't necessarily the black man's fault. Just maybe the standards are unrealistic/unreasonable, but who is to say? </div></div>
Again tell me what about this if unrealistic/unreasonable....break it down for me.
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Tropicana</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
<ul style="list-style-type: disc">[*]to have a job that pays a liveable wage so that she won't have to work out her soul case and support him and the children[*]not scew around on her[*]be a partner and heaven forbid share the household chores[*]be a partner and heaven forbid share baby and child care[*]not do drugs or drink excessively[/list]</div></div>
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: CEW</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> What I do know is that there are some high-school drop outs that are making far more money than I do,</div></div>
These are EXCEPTIONS. I do know some men like that too. The exception does not negate the rule. If education is not an important factor in determining ones prospects, why are we as Jamaican parents stressing the importance of getting a good education? Did you enourage your son or sons to drop out of high school or to be satisfied with just a high school diploma? If not why not? You're really being dishonest here. You yourself have pursued higher education because you have seen its value so don't use a few exceptional individuals as a way of down playing the importance of education. You're talking out of 4 sides of your mouth and not practicing what you preach.
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
so maybe her assessment of the black man's potential is all superficial.
</div></div>
Horse manure. Shame on you CEW!! This is my list and there is noting superficial about it.
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Tropicana</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
<ul style="list-style-type: disc">[*]to have a job that pays a liveable wage so that she won't have to work out her soul case and support him and the children[*]not scew around on her[*]be a partner and heaven forbid share the household chores[*]be a partner and heaven forbid share baby and child care[*]not do drugs or drink excessively[/list]</div></div>
It is good common sense when looking for a partner and having a realistic chance of making a marriage work....but I guess in the view of some of the Black men on here, Black women don't deserve partners of quality....only blondes do!
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> But if one expects to find a black man with multiple degrees, $100K+ income, BMW (or whatever else) on every street ocrner, </div></div>
Who the <span style="font-weight: bold"> <span style="font-size: 17pt"> BACKSIDE </span></span>ever said that? There is a HUGE difference between <span style="font-weight: bold">earning a liveable wage </span> and driving a Lambourghini and running a string of polo ponies. Who ever set THAT as the criteri?. Sure as heck wasn't me.
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">it's not gonna happen. But then again, the blue-collared worker with the 10-year old truck just might be making more money and is far more at ease with himself and life in general. One just never know.
</div></div>
It does not mean that everyone would be likely to be COMPATIBLE with a truck driver or blue collar worker. Doesn't mean the blue collar worker, parking attendant, or gardener is beter or worse than anyone.
And while we are at it. Please try to get your facts straight:
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: CEW</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> I stand to be corrected, but I do think these threads are meant to provoke reactions as more times than not, they come up when the board is slow </div></div>
This thread may have been started by me but this discussion was not initiated by me in response to a slow board or to provoke reactions. Not even close and if you took the time to read the first post you would see that.
We process personal data about users of our site, through the use of cookies and other technologies, to deliver our services, personalize advertising, and to analyze site activity. We may share certain information about our users with our advertising and analytics partners. For additional details, refer to our Privacy Policy.
By clicking "I AGREE" below, you agree to our Privacy Policy and our personal data processing and cookie practices as described therein. You also acknowledge that this forum may be hosted outside your country and you consent to the collection, storage, and processing of your data in the country where this forum is hosted.
I am one of the people on your long ignore list? I have addressed you 2x in the thread, and you have ignored me. There is a difference between disagreeing w/ someone and insulting them, and I bet if you check your ignore list, the majority of those people did not ignore you but merely disagreed w/ your POV.
lock down this thread..it start taking up valuable space on the bandwidth 
Tweet
Comment