LDRs

[rie]

Re: LDRs

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Marilyn</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Tishamae</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Does any one out there have a success story? Inquiring minds would like to know. I would love to here of something positive come out of this subject. Come out, Come out, where ever you are and give us a success story. Pretty Please?? </div></div>I gave you a whole litany of them on page one, I can't call names, cause some of these private people don't even want folks to know they are blissfully happy.....my theory is, they think it might jinx em </div></div>

why jinx, truth might come out? Just kidding. I do know of none, I mean none. I was there in my youth went to school there and taught the Jamaican ways. I do not know of one true real love story. In the end the Jamaican will end up with another Jamaican. Sometimes the 'game' will last for 30 years, and then guess what they are back living in the big concrete house with all the trimings. It is every Jamaicans[almost] dream. It's in thier blood.

Let's say they love home cooking

[jamaica_dreamin]

Re: LDRs

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Marilyn</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: jamaica_dreamin</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Just_Dg</div><div class="ubbcode-body">But all this mess won't stop me from going to my fav spot.. </div></div>

Neither me </div></div>Now why would anyone indict Jamaica as a whole for their own F ups anyway.....it takes two to tango, and as soon as that man started asking you, a WOMAN for money and financial help time after time,month after month , and even year after year, and NEVER stands on his own two feet as a man,,,,, and we fork it over.,...now why they hell would one go and get mad at Jamaica....we'd have to look at stupid self first....hell I don't blame the man, all he gotta do is set out the bamboo and he gets a house, a cyar, a motocyclce, a living....sheeeeeeeeeeee </div></div>

exactly!

[Marilyn]

Re: LDRs

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Tishamae</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Marilyn</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Tishamae</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Does any one out there have a success story? Inquiring minds would like to know. I would love to here of something positive come out of this subject. Come out, Come out, where ever you are and give us a success story. Pretty Please?? </div></div>I gave you a whole litany of them on page one, I can't call names, cause some of these private people don't even want folks to know they are blissfully happy.....my theory is, they think it might jinx em </div></div>

why jinx, truth might come out? Just kidding. I do know of none, I mean none. I was there in my youth went to school there and taught the Jamaican ways. I do not know of one true real love story. In the end the Jamaican will end up with another Jamaican. Sometimes the 'game' will last for 30 years, and then guess what they are back living in the big concrete house with all the trimings. It is every Jamaicans[almost] dream. It's in thier blood.

Let's say they love home cooking </div></div>

I don't know about the 30 year later thing, but I know several couples who SEEM to be very happy and the girl got the &quot;prize&quot; her Jamaican man and his babies (by her that is, one's back home not included in the count).

[Jamaicamiss]

Re: LDRs

To Tishamae and other inquiring minds: Well I didn't elaborate that much on Page 3 when I told of Ted and me. It is a success story. We have been together 6 years this month with a LDR. We pooled our money and his property together and built in Negril. He had been saving for over 20 years so he could build. We own it together and have been to an attorney to take care of legalities. Our relationship is full of love and respect for each other. He is a very hard working man, who also treats me like a queen. We did not meet on the beach, but through my guide/his friend. Ted is not the gigilo type as many peeps on this site can attest to. Our LDR works! No I do not like to be separated for so long, but my government has denied his visa request too many times and he refuses to give them anymore of his hard earmed money. I had to return to the US the last 4 years for operations, but I may look into being able to stay year round and leave only for a quick trip to see my doctor, dentist, etc.

Do I give him money? Most definitely, but he also gives me money. We are talking about a marriage without a license relationship. Marriage is out of the question, because I would lose too many benefits from my deceased husband's pension. Ted says we don't need a piece of paper to be married and he is right.

I woud like to think that other couples have made a go of this type of relationship and look forward to hearing from them on this thread. Also see Wahalla's comments on page 3.

[rie]

Re: LDRs



I am happy to hear that. JAH blessed you and he.

There is a success and your story sounds very positive.

[jamaica_dreamin]

Re: LDRs

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Jamaica Miss</div><div class="ubbcode-body">To Tishamae and other inquiring minds: Well I didn't elaborate that much on Page 3 when I told of Ted and me. It is a success story. We have been together 6 years this month with a LDR. We pooled our money and his property together and built in Negril. He had been saving for over 20 years so he could build. We own it together and have been to an attorney to take care of legalities. Our relationship is full of love and respect for each other. He is a very hard working man, who also treats me like a queen. We did not meet on the beach, but through my guide/his friend. Ted is not the gigilo type as many peeps on this site can attest to. Our LDR works! No I do not like to be separated for so long, but my government has denied his visa request too many times and he refuses to give them anymore of his hard earmed money. I had to return to the US the last 4 years for operations, but I may look into being able to stay year round and leave only for a quick trip to see my doctor, dentist, etc.

Do I give him money? Most definitely, but he also gives me money. We are talking about a marriage without a license relationship. Marriage is out of the question, because I would lose too many benefits from my deceased husband's pension. Ted says we don't need a piece of paper to be married and he is right.

I woud like to think that other couples have made a go of this type of relationship and look forward to hearing from them on this thread. Also see Wahalla's comments on page 3. </div></div>

You do not need to explain your self or your realtionship to any one.

[Marilyn]

Re: LDRs

JM I've said it to a many a person, you did your homework, you have legal papers protecting your rights, you used your HEAD AND your heart, and so be it, you are the chick I tell people got it right.

[Jamaicamiss]

Re: LDRs

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: jamaica_dreamin</div><div class="ubbcode-body">

You do not need to explain your self or your relationship to any one. </div></div>

I know that, but hoping against hope that it shows a different side to LDRs and that all men in Jamaica are not the gigilo type. Still remember to keep your guard up. I did for quite a while.

And Marilyn thanks for your kind words.

[Marilyn]

Re: LDRs

I also like the part about Ted put some of HIS money into this thing as well, now that is

Edited to add that having the land in Jamaica, with clear title to said land is a big big plus, and a MAJOR contribution to said project on his part, because land with a sea view like that, could cost upwards to 100,000 US, especially that close to a major resort town.

[sistacaf]

Re: LDRs

well, this may perhaps be seen as irrelevant since it's not current info

however

the fella i was dealing with had the foundation down and had started building the house, as he had sworn he was gonna do for four years (and i too had the guard up and didn't &quot;quite&quot; believe him) -- all without requesting one dime from me. he had told me over and over he was going to build me a house, (which was the 4th one he had built BTW, after one for his mom, one for his ex, and the one he had been living in at the time) - and while most of me did believe he was on the up-and-up, a small part of me still said 'oh yah right i'll believe THAT when i see it'. He also chastised me for allowing my thinking to buy into the 'stereotypes' and admonished me for falling prey to the generalizing and prejudice that paints all Jamaican men with the same denigrating brush. (and i have to say, in the moment of that discussion, i <span style="font-style: italic">was</span> a bit ashamed of myself, for he <span style="font-style: italic">had</span> certainly shown me different by his actions. and my being 'of little faith' had hurt him)

during the 6 yrs of the relationship, sometimes i paid, and sometimes he took <span style="font-style: italic">me</span> out, or gave me money to go enjoy myself if i was low on cash, (especially after extending my stay and running low, LOL). We had a very easy dealing around the subject of money, we shared expenses for groceries, etc. depending upon who was more 'flush' at the moment - even if all we had was bully beef and rice a couple times, LOL. However when it came to stuff like gas in the bike or the car (both used to drive me all over the island exploring and enjoying), or expenses for his house, never once was i approached; he took care of his own biz. A few times he did some nice extra's, out of wanting to big 'me' up, like treating my whole group of girlfriends at the bar. and he was not wealthy, didn't have an inheritance or come from money. he just had above-average intelligence, drive, a strong work ethic and a million skills, and used them all to earn his living and make himself a decent life, both before and after he met me. He had no interest in going to the US, he adored his homeland, he <span style="font-style: italic">knew</span> what he had. and was as besotted with the sea, fresh air, fresh food, and healthy lifestyle he had right at home - kinda just like we tourists are, hehe. our whole goal was to get me there to live full time.

had he lived i know that house would be well on its way, and yes, i would indeed have contributed towards it - he had contributed the land, put in the sweat equity, and bought the first round of building materials all before i even knew it was going up. I wouldn't expect it to be 'all' on his nickel, that would have been selfish of me. Given the contribution and hard work on his part I certainly <span style="font-style: italic">would</span> have shared the expense of building the house that i was planning to live in.

he was by no means perfect, we had our disagreements and he could be stubborn-as-a-donky that would vex me to baxide, in the way only jamaican men can be. but the foundation 'basics' were positives, and all that stuff was taken in stride as in any relationship.

and i begya give me a bly if i sound a little &quot;gushy&quot;. i was proud ah the man usee.

[delawaregrl]

Re: LDRs

Don't make me cry sista caf!!

[sistacaf]

Re: LDRs

awww honey, it's OK. listen i don't cry too much anymore so u no need to either. at this point i can celebrate and honor the life of an extraordinary person, who was extraordinary <span style="font-style: italic">regardless</span> of his nationality. and still marvel how i got so lucky to have known him. even if i never have it like that again, it does me good to know that people like him do still exist in the world.

and
i can also say that in these 3 years no other man i've dealt with, has even come close

[Marilyn]

Re: LDRs

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: sistacaf</div><div class="ubbcode-body">well, this may perhaps be seen as irrelevant since it's not current info

however

the fella i was dealing with had the foundation down and had started building the house, as he had sworn he was gonna do for four years (and i too had the guard up and didn't &quot;quite&quot; believe him) -- all without requesting one dime from me. he had told me over and over he was going to build me a house, (which was the 4th one he had built BTW, after one for his mom, one for his ex, and the one he had been living in at the time) - and while most of me did believe he was on the up-and-up, a small part of me still said 'oh yah right i'll believe THAT when i see it'. He also chastised me for allowing my thinking to buy into the 'stereotypes' and admonished me for falling prey to the generalizing and prejudice that paints all Jamaican men with the same denigrating brush. (and i have to say, in the moment of that discussion, i <span style="font-style: italic">was</span> a bit ashamed of myself, for he <span style="font-style: italic">had</span> certainly shown me different by his actions.)

during the 6 yrs of the relationship, sometimes i paid, and sometimes he took <span style="font-style: italic">me</span> out, or gave me money to go enjoy myself if i was low on cash, (especially after extending my stay and running low, LOL). We had a very easy dealing around the subject of money, we shared expenses for groceries, etc. depending upon who was more 'flush' at the moment - even if all we had was bully beef and rice a couple times, LOL. However when it came to stuff like gas in the bike or the car (both used to drive me all over the island exploring and enjoying), or expenses for his house, never once was i approached; he took care of his own biz. A few times he did some nice extra's, out of wanting to big 'me' up, like treating my whole group of girlfriends at the bar. and he was not wealthy, didn't have an inheritance or come from money. he just had above-average intelligence, drive, a strong work ethic and a million skills, and used them all to earn his living and make himself a decent life, both before and after he met me. he had no interest in going to the US, he adored his home and our whole goal was to get me there to live full time.

had he lived i know that house would be well on its way, and yes, i would indeed have contributed towards it - he had contributed the land, put in the sweat equity, and bought the first round of building materials all before i even knew it was going up. I wouldn't expect it to be 'all' on his nickel, that would have been selfish of me. Given the contribution and hard work on his part I certainly <span style="font-style: italic">would</span> have shared the expense of building the house that i was planning to live in.

he was by no means perfect, we had our disagreements and he could be stubborn-as-a-donky that would vex me to baxide, in the way only jamaican men can be. but the foundation 'basics' were positives, and all that stuff was taken in stride as in any relationship -

and i begya give me a bly if i sound a little &quot;gushy&quot;. i was proud ah the man usee.

</div></div>

Yep I
Knew this one , and she is telling the truth

[sistacaf]

Re: LDRs

and THANK GOD you did, or i might think it was all only a figment of my imagination - !

[Marilyn]

Re: LDRs

we all miss him honey